zompist bboard

I'm incredibly alone and I'm drowning in it. I don't know how much of this people here are aware of, but I was emotionally abused, neglected, and profoundly isolated as a child. I was "homeschooled," which in my case meant that I was locked in a house my entire childhood and never provided a basic e...

Yeah, I think pretty much everyone in the whole country is about ready to scream after so much rain. I had my laundry out to dry yesterday and then it started raining (unpredicted!) and I almost cried. I'd been looking forward to October, since the last two years it's had the best weather of the who...

Someone defaced my sister's neighbours' garage with anti-Semitic graffiti. I don't know if I mentioned it at the time, but back in February, vandals toppled gravestones in the Jewish cemetery only a mile away. All this is a neighbourhood which has had a substantial Jewish population for over a cent...

So I apparently have low frequency hearing loss in both ears. Don't know why yet. Doctor said he suspects Meniere's disease (although aiui it's uncommon for that to be bilateral). It kind of explains a lot (I am TERRIBLE at understanding conversations in noisy environments and hearing what people sa...

Don't worry, I've been here for almost two years and I've barely ever said a word about conlanging! :D Pfft, two years. Newbie. :P Maybe I should recalibrate my definition of "normal". Feeling tired most of the time is nothing compared to what you have to endure. I have to say I dislike this partic...

I fainted on the train. Had to get carted off to the hospital in an ambulance, where they ran some tests then let me go. They said they think it was probably vasovagal syncope (I sure have learned some interesting Japanese words) and were appalled when I said I'd had thirty or forty episodes of feel...

Vijay wrote:I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so anxious about it, Risla. Good luck, though, and help yourself to a hug if you want one!

You're so nice. C:

My job: I mainly work for a small IT company. They hired me in January last year to help get the English website for their main service off the ground. This has been quite a difficult task (the existing English site was written so bad as to be largely incomprehensible, and there were hundreds of pag...

I'm at a frustrating state where my listening is far better than my speaking, which in turn is way better than my reaction time. I understand every stupid little comment people make about me, but responding is hard and I come up with retorts about 20 seconds too late. Like a couple months ago, I was...

I just booked another night on Mt Hiei. I spent a night there in June and it was absolutely amazing; my favorite place in the country, no question. The issue is that I'm rather broke and probably can't REALLY afford to stay there, especially since it's rather expensive...but otoh I've been feeling ...

I just booked another night on Mt Hiei. I spent a night there in June and it was absolutely amazing; my favorite place in the country, no question. The issue is that I'm rather broke and probably can't REALLY afford to stay there, especially since it's rather expensive...but otoh I've been feeling p...

My pharmacist has, up until tonight, been great. Tonight, however, she discovered that I did not know the word 償還払い ("reimbursement"). This prompted her to tell another pharmacist "of course, she's a foreigner so she doesn't understand Japanese," look up and write down the English words for the symp...

Irma hits and police pay rise (BBC)

I went back to Koyasan, which in my dream was a mountain covered in bright green grass where people traditionally build houses out of sliced grapefruit, and I took a class on how to build one of these houses. It's always really funny to me how my brain will take a place I know and then just invent s...

Flying back to Minnesota for a couple weeks tomorrow and am feeling INCREDIBLY weird about it. I haven't set foot on American soil since May 2015, but it's my home country, even though I don't even talk to Americans on a daily basis. Also I'm staying with my (very toxic) family, but I'm hopefully go...

The diagnosis of Crohn's disease was confirmed today. I had a capsule endoscopy last week and it showed extensive ulceration throughout my small intestines. My doctor said she actually thinks that the ulcerative colitis diagnosis when I was a child wasn't misdiagnosed Crohn's, since the most serious...

Well. After a colonoscopy (technically an ileoscopy, actually) I just got a tentative diagnosis of Crohn's Disease (to be confirmed in two weeks when the biopsy comes back). The idea of "what if I have Crohn's" has been haunting my nightmares for years. When I had ulcerative colitis (or, I guess, wh...

Life was much better before I randomly developed severe anxiety a few months ago. Spinning yarn helps a LOT, but I can't do that at work, so even though I like my job it's making me miserable because I have a spectacular amount of nervous energy and can't burn it off so it just builds up and builds ...

After spending the last month or so being too freaked out by weird cardiac symptoms to feel safe riding my bicycle, I finally said fuckit yesterday and went out for a ride, and it went fine. I had some palpitations while warming up and was worried I'd have to stop, but after the first five minutes i...

alice wrote:I did some guided deep relaxation the other afternoon, and I think I fell asleep. I'm not sure that's how it's meant to work.

I dunno, sounds pretty relaxed to me!

Finlay, je mélange toujours les deux. Jal peut témoigner de combien de temps j'ai mélangé le néerlandais et l'allemand. Mais je fais pareil avec le français et l'espagnol. Finlay, I always mix the two. Jal can attest to how many times I have mixed up Dutch and German. But it's the same for me with ...

alice wrote:

Risla wrote:The giant bugs in this country are terrifying.

Warning: extremely lame joke follows:

That's nothing; you should see the software I write!

Ha ha ha. I work for an IT company and encounter a fair amount of those bugs too.

So tonight I was just sitting in a park trying to eat some sherbet and a goddamn mukade marches up to me. Wasn't a big one (three or four inches?) but still. Nooooo thaaaanks. The giant bugs in this country are terrifying. I'm also not looking forward to more encounters with suzumebachi this summer ...

I saw a gastroenterologist today. The nature of the problems I'm having is still unknown, but I have elevated leukocytes and CRP (=a sign of inflammation), and the doctor suspects I have pouchitis , which has also been my suspicion (I've had many issues with it in the past). This can unfortunately b...

I'm still overall feeling better (the palpitations, at least, have improved a lot), but am far from being a-okay. I remain just exhausted and have been missing work, and am not very productive when I do go to work. I'm tired enough that I've been idly wishing that I'd just collapse or something and ...