A Verdurian Short Story: So? I??aleul

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Neek
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A Verdurian Short Story: So? I??aleul

Post by Neek »

Too much TV has warped what I wanted to write, so I put together a new piece of Verdurian writing. This is a log kept by an eleďe physician, Shm Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m, regarding a shipwreck of a trio of vessels on an uncharted island on its way to T?llinor. I'm really sure this isn't good, but it's worth writing.
?m Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m wrote:Passover and first day of the year, 3471

I am writing this not as a cry for distress, for I fear that our current situation is beyond remedy. I have no doubt there will be a day when another uestu would find this so that they may know what happened to us. Three vessels departed from Sitfi, bound for T?llinor. They were called the Ďin? ?rn?, Obelne D?ri, and the Lase Dau?. We had travelled for several days before we spotted a storm on the eastern horizon. It was two evenings before today that this storm, which was as large as Ďeknam and as wicked, struck our meager vessels. In its first eve it had crushed the Obelne D?ri and we had not seen it since.

By the morning our sails were torn from the masts, and the wood splintered terribly. The air which we breathed had not calmed. The two remaining vessels never disappeared from another, though we were bounced across the ocean as rocks skipping over a lake's surface, until we had violently met with rocks and sands, shattering the Ďin? ?rn? into many pieces and running aground a broken Lase Dau?.

Through the grace of Eleď and despite the loss of the Obelne D?ri, no other man had been lost or wounded except the captian of the Ďin? ?rn?, Culso Glavric D?nesei. His crew already have set a funeral for him and the lost crew of the Obelne D?ri. They have refused when I suggest an Eleďe funeral, and a few even say that A?irei had sent Ora? against us for the crew had insulted her good faith, because they allowed sons of the Eleniki aboard; but they do not thank any god of theirs; I kiss the ground every morning in praise of Eleď for bearing us through certain destruction.

Fortune did not save all of us.

I must depart now from writing. Not all men were spared injuries.


Praise Eleď,

?m Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m
notes: I am not sure on the dates, so I selected Passover as the starting date. I however doubt that a venture to T?llinor, ultimately starting from Verduria, would cross through the winter and into the spring of the following year. In studying early colonialism to America, it would seem more prudent to leave in late in summer. I will provide the Verdurian text later...

[edit]Posted the Verdurian, fixed the text to match closer to the original and removed that extra "the".
Last edited by Neek on Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by zompist »

Very interesting! Tell me if you find any words missing.

It's a bit cheeky of the physician to offer an Eledhe funeral (assuming the captain was pagan). Verdurians generally respect the religion of the deceased in these matters. But perhaps he's a convert, or just naive. :)

I should research early sailing myself sometime... your guess is as good as mine on how long it takes to get to T?llinor. IIRC the Spanish used to send two fleets a year between the Americas and Spain, but that was a shorter journey.

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Post by Mornche Geddick »

Whicked!

No words missing, but one extra I'm afraid.
In its first eve it had crushed the the Obelne D?ri and we had not seen it since.
And I like the bit where Shm Motucom says how they were bounced across the ocean like stones being skimmed across a lake. That suggests they were getting spun.

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Post by Blackhand »

Mornche Geddick wrote:Whicked!

No words missing, but one extra I'm afraid.
In its first eve it had crushed the the Obelne D?ri and we had not seen it since.
And I like the bit where Shm Motucom says how they were bounced across the ocean like stones being skimmed across a lake. That suggests they were getting spun.
This reminds me of an entry in an old Top Ten list, detailing why NASA wasn't working right:
David Letterman's writers wrote:1. An Advanced Hyperinteligent race beings is screwing with us.
Also, awesome story Neek. Keep going.
[quote]<Maknas> Run around the Arizona desert with a gun and claim you're fighting Al-Qaeda, that'll definitely make you known.[/quote]

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Post by Dewrad »

This is cool. I request a translation into Verdurian too! :D
Some useful Dravian links: Grammar - Lexicon - Ask a Dravian
Salmoneus wrote:(NB Dewrad is behaving like an adult - a petty, sarcastic and uncharitable adult, admittedly, but none the less note the infinitely higher quality of flame)

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Post by zompist »

Dewrad wrote:This is cool. I request a translation into Verdurian too! :D
I'm sure you meant, you hope to see the original Verdurian which Neek is translating into English. :)

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Post by Dewrad »

zompist wrote:
Dewrad wrote:This is cool. I request a translation into Verdurian too! :D
I'm sure you meant, you hope to see the original Verdurian which Neek is translating into English. :)
But of course!
Some useful Dravian links: Grammar - Lexicon - Ask a Dravian
Salmoneus wrote:(NB Dewrad is behaving like an adult - a petty, sarcastic and uncharitable adult, admittedly, but none the less note the infinitely higher quality of flame)

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Post by Neek »

My translation should be cleaned up further to match the text, as in some places it does distance itself from the original text.
?m Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m wrote:so pere d?n Pasce er soe zonii i ze 3471,

Ivrao siča eto, ac řo e iskriča colaprece. Nka?ai dy ?ircaora ta? e tras lenka. Řo tenao suya duba im uem?n es? dy d?n esme kiam otre uestu tr?ume eto pro ?rifec ka? tan ?annu yat?. Ďin? kreb? a? Sift?n l?znu er Tellinor?n zam duis?. Soi ďini tu nome so <Ďin? ?rn?>, so <Obeln? d?ri>, er so <Lase dau?>. Veturnam apros des?n d?n?n pr? sfutlelnam so ora? sur ď?sen sarei. E ďun? v?čer? pr? nun dy ci-ora?, kio fue ot?l lar?e dy Ďeknam er ot?l zut, baďre piď?se kreb? ta?. Pro peren v?čer?n ge?ne ya Obeln? d?ra er řo ilet lelam yat? elnor?n.

Ne utron feli ta? ilu ?cire acota soin albin, er soa endi intuselne oliorece. Soa ?alea kiom ?aleam řo zet im?elne ya. So ďun? kreb? f?sul? řo zan islelnu nikagd?, hoyan tam tosne d?nuo tra z?in, ot?l ďomi tu tose tra syuer?n etan?, adike dy r?snam ya b?nece cum p?r?n er sabl?n, il pi?ne Ďini ?rni torin er duisne brisul Lase dau? počan.

Pro soan ?el?n Eleďei er arad demedaun i Obelne d?ri, nikto řo ?u?de iy va?ir acř? so?n nabron i Ďin? ?rn?, Cl Glavric?n D?nesei. Facora i?metne siča ferica and lon?n li? er soin i??aleulin i Obelne d?ri. Agedru kiam pronincao ferica eleďei, er pey? mizu yat? dy A?irei voyre Ora? ak tan pro ilat ocorbr? copr?s mifnu meďi soi? Elenici? surnav?r. Ac řo du suyem m?lnitem nibin aďin ca?; ?i-utron labu so poč pro egl?rec Eleďei, prokio tam adferine tra s?nulan mautruisan.

Bosa řo spasie t?sem ta?.

Devao n?nece ke?en crivan. Řo t?sem uestom so ora? mifne no?uven ďevi?.


Egl?r Eleďem,

?m Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m
His date lists it being the first day of Easter and of the year; it would be redundant to say it was also Ceďnare 1 Ola?u (Of course, if my caclulations are wrong...)

Some other things: intuselne > im+tusel, Cl is an abbreviation for Culso, a commander or commodore. Remember, double negatives a positive doesn't make. His closing statement is a classical imperative plus a poetic accusative. You can figure that out.

[edit] quoteboxing it.

Zompist wrote:Very interesting! Tell me if you find any words missing.

It's a bit cheeky of the physician to offer an Eledhe funeral (assuming the captain was pagan). Verdurians generally respect the religion of the deceased in these matters. But perhaps he's a convert, or just naive.
So far, only the action of splintering I couldn't find (I made it up myself), and also I wasn't able to find horizon, so I would hope that ď?se as a substantive would suffice. And you will also find that Avr?m isn't so humble or accepting, either. Cheeky's a great way to describe him!
I should research early sailing myself sometime... your guess is as good as mine on how long it takes to get to T?llinor. IIRC the Spanish used to send two fleets a year between the Americas and Spain, but that was a shorter journey.
I know Columbus's journey took about 34 days-36 days and covered about 3500 miles. Which means at a hundred miles a day, or about 4.15 miles an hour... the 10,000 km pass would then be 6125 miles... so I would guess the whole trip would take about sixty or so days to complete, if we don't count for wind or any stops.

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Post by Neek »

As much as I hate double posting, here's the second entry translated into English (;)), I'll leave my notes on the bottom as usual.
?m Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m wrote:4 O?alu

Our third day on the island has came and pass. To wounds and to one suicide, we have lost half a dozen surivors. There has been some argument on their burial, not in the manner but so much on whether we should preserve them so that they may be burried on Verdurian soil. Their hopes for rescue are high, and I smirk when I hear them discuss these things. They have put together a signal fire so that a passing ship may see us, but I doubt we will be rescused. I do not express this pessimism with the others, but hold my thoughts in me.

Before the sun had risen this morning, the remaining commanders, ?iro Culso Brac Seadulei Cank?u, Nabor C?rpon Licorei Surey and his ?iro Atau Linei Uol, included with a young lord, Veaďanes cont i Ac?ni, a soldier named Bansort Dau?ey, and myself held council.

The council opened with words from nabor Surey, who stated, "Three evenings have passed on this miserable island. Whenever one looks at his feet, he sees a wreck that is his fate. When he looks to the sky, he sees a blue expanse. I am no fool, and I know the sand will rise and swallow our wreck, and the sky will darken and pour rain and lightning onto us. We need to collect ourselves and our wreck, we need to build shelter from whatever may come over the horizon."

To this we all agreed, but Dau?ey replied, "I am less worried with what might be over the horizon, rather what may hide in the thickets and the trees we should find worry over. We know little of this island except that we are on it."

Again, we had agreed, and then spoke the cont, who, with voice low and soft as a dandy, said "Find worry in what may hide? Perhaps you think everything is a threat! Perhaps we should find hope in what may be beyond those trees. People could live on this island!"

Dau?ey replied, "Or perhaps even a ktuvok."

The dandy replied, "And would we know lest we searched the island? And were there a demon on this island, I have faith that being all children of Caďinor, pardon the expression my holiness--but one should prove no effort to dispatch."

Dau?ey replied angrily with no respect, "Naive!" and then was quieted by Cank?u, who commanded less than spoke, and he said, "Brute and lord, quiet yourselves lest we be heard. Surey is right, we will collect our things and build shelter. Both Dau?ey and his greatness are also right: We will search the island."

To this we all agreed, but no one spoke except ?c Uol, who said, "Our provisions were either spoiled or lost in the storm. We have little food and even less fresh water. If we search the island, it should not be for uest? nor ktovok? but rather food."

And to this Cank?u agreed wholly and told us each to organize the people. I myself was given a minor task aside from tending to the sick. I was instructed to compose a list of all the survivors. I then expounded on the list and included their ages, and their reasons for going to T?llinor.

I will compose the manifest on these logs, so that I will have all our stories close at hand, for this log never passes far from my hand.


Praise Eleď

?m Avr?m Corn?lei Motuc?m
I've opted to keep some words in Verdurian, such as the word titles: Captain (nabor) is that of a vessel, while a commodore (culso) has command over various others. Cank?u has more authority because he's the "?iro Culso", or Lieutenant Commander. Uol has the least authority of them all, but it seems that Dau?ey has no respect for rank anyway.

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