You might be an Almeologist if...

[dhok]

...you swear "ab calton".
...you mark your gender "ewez" on government forms.
...you will suddenly switch your l's to w's when an idiot is speaking in a narrative.
...you voted your bartender for prime minister.
...you have ever told management that "it's not any of my turnips."
...you mentally pronounce English words with Flaidish spelling rules.
...you believe everything wrong in the world is a conspiracy by evil swamp-lizards. And if it isn't, it's because of the Red Cabal.
...you wouldn't vote for a man who couldn't draw.
...you insult people with the phrase "oyes ende šweče."
(More?)

[Fruithat]

...you write an essay on Churmey for your philosophy class.

[Neek]

... you get a tattoo on your arm spelling Caloteon. And the sunburst, too.

[bulbaquil]

...it causes you no end to confusion why surnames don't decline by gender (unless, of course, they actually do in your culture.

...your friends are annoyed that you keep referring to them by first and middle name.

...you refer to a light-hearted acquaintance as being "like water."

...you're amazed at the accessibility of university textbooks; shouldn't they all be written in code to keep their secrets - well, secret?

[Salmoneus]

Clearly you've not read many philosophy textbooks...

[So Haleza Grise]

... you get a tattoo on your arm spelling Caloteon. And the sunburst, too.

I remember that! Any more since then??

[Neek]

I want to get my son's name in Elkarîl writing, but I haven't been able to afford it as of yet. I might place it on the same arm as Caloteon and the Sunburst, but I'm thinking rather of getting it on my leg instead. Some of the lack of visual media on some of the more major Almean topics that I'm interested in seem to be not readily apparent or otherwise unavailable (we have no Eledhi texts to work with, and none of the Caloteon gods have associated symbols like the Greek gods have)--which makes it harder to procure a good idea of what to get next. I do want to dedicate my right fore-arm to Almean based tattoos, but I just need ideas.

[dhok]

...when somebody asks "m/f?" on Omegle you respond "Hot ewez with webcam."

[con quesa]

I want to get my son's name in Elkarîl writing, but I haven't been able to afford it as of yet. I might place it on the same arm as Caloteon and the Sunburst, but I'm thinking rather of getting it on my leg instead. Some of the lack of visual media on some of the more major Almean topics that I'm interested in seem to be not readily apparent or otherwise unavailable (we have no Eledhi texts to work with, and none of the Caloteon gods have associated symbols like the Greek gods have)--which makes it harder to procure a good idea of what to get next. I do want to dedicate my right fore-arm to Almean based tattoos, but I just need ideas.

Neek wins the thread.

[Amuere]

...when somebody asks "m/f?" on Omegle you respond "Hot ewez with webcam."

ROFL!

[tezcatlip0ca]

What does oyes ende shweche mean? I assume it's in Viminian, with that W and all.

[the duke of nuke]

It's Xurnese, literally meaning "May your path be confused." Not an especially strong insult though.

Speaking of which...

You might be an Almeologist if you spend a month infiltrating an ancient university, assassinating dzunani and subversives, and writing back reports to the Academy in Inex.
Oyes ende yu šu,
"Lučas"

[Bristel]

...when you are obsessed with where Queen Andrea disappeared to.

...when you start vowel-inverting English words as in Kebreni.

(am I doin' it right?)

[Warmaster]

When you say Gelyet when you mean to say Mongol...

[bulbaquil]

...when you try to navigate by Similu, Simiru, and Simižu rather than Polaris.

...when the temperature goes lower as it gets hotter.

...when you just wish someone would throw horse dung on those annoying pundits and ideologues.

...when you've made plans for "February 29, 2005" or "February 29, 2010". What, leap year comes every five years, doesn't it?

...when you plan spelunking expeditions to caves in the Rockies hoping to find elcari.

...when you try to learn Spanish/French/German/etc. verb conjugations via word-circles.

[tezcatlip0ca]

Does anybody have the temperature scales written down somewhere?

[bulbaquil]

Well, one of them is basically 0 = 0 Kelvin, 100 = 100 Celsius.

[tezcatlip0ca]

I was talking about the Lúriei. Forgot the name...

[bulbaquil]

I'm pretty sure one of the waypoints was the ice and salt mixture (0 Fahrenheit), but I can't remember what the actual number of degrees for that was.

[Arzena]

When someone asks you who said that quote you just uttered, and you almost answer, "The dzuséy ne-Duox, of course."

[Yiuel Raumbesrairc]

When someone asks you who said that quote you just uttered, and you almost answer, "The dzuséy ne-Duox, of course."

In the original Xurnese, of course.

[linguofreak]

...you will suddenly switch your l's to w's when an idiot is speaking in a narrative.

How's this specific to Almea? I've heard it plenty in real world English conversations with people who know nothing of Almea. (And then thew's Ewmer Fudd).

[dhok]

Viminia.

[Mornche Geddick]

You think the octave has ten pitches. And instead of do-re-mi you sing "nu-as-di-go-şri-mi-ŋa-ge-şor-dor".

[tezcatlip0ca]

What pitches are those? And where did you get that information?