Popular Songs of Axunai

Questions or discussions about Almea or Verduria-- also the Incatena. Also good for postings in Almean languages.
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rotting bones
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Popular Songs of Axunai

Post by rotting bones »

Does this even make sense?

Orjibirtiš Pidec
hermit.gen song

Mabidiu naya ji boyok wei mii popoukiu?
love.subj.2s <that what sum eye.gen water drop.2s.past?

Bemiš eigu neju jous jouvišaci. Ji ende einari xameniu?
road.gen thorn.loc foot.loc blood bloodlet.neg.2s. what path this.place come.subj.2s.fut?

Ji boyok ancokun noxu šediu, xumiduniš sunešiš burundešo?
what sum awake night suffer.2s.past, false.gen dream.gen promise.loc?

Amendexoyo jetimiw naya ji ezicim sukurudom makiu?
easily laugh.subj.2s <that what powerful.acc pain.acc conquer.2s.past?

Ezer šigiei meidemako, demu wimixunciu...
thousand chore.pl.gen masses(?).loc, time notice.neg.2s.past.int

Ujouncie ujez rijiwa ujiacei misi toiš...
listen.neg.2s.past.int open-earedly unheard.pl word.pl 3s.gen (poetic word order reversals)

Eidemu touno wogiu? Ti miso ujivatec wešiw.
today why feel.horror.2s? these word.loc story build.2s

Ubimelo gourto seirimiw naya ji juru nanudiu?
blissful.loc sea.loc recline.subj.2s <that what pleasure sacrifice.2s.past?

Loose translation:

Song of the Hermit

How many tears have you shed that you'll (be able to) love?
How will you get here if the road's thorn doesn't draw blood?
How many nights have you spent awake in the promise of false dreams?
What sorrows have you endured that your laughter will be carefree?

Between a thousand chores, you never found the time...
Never heard her half-whispered words...
Today, why wallow in misery? Upon these words, build (your) story.
What pleasures have you sacrificed that you'll float upon blissful seas?

PS. That's it, I don't see any more errors, but there are probably dozens left. Please let me know if I've mangled the transformations or over-colloquialized. Thanks.

PPS. No, I think xamim should be negative too. The thorn of the road didn't prick your foot, otherwise how could you not come here? Man, I suck at extemporaneous poetry. I wish Axunashin had a word for "unload". Then I won't have to use "sacrifice" (give to god) and it'd fit much better with "recline". Now I'm not so sure about the ancokun noxu line either. Too much guesswork. The whole thing is like a crumbling edifice.

PPPS. What am I doing? The original future subjunctive was correct. It didn't draw blood; otherwise, how will you get here? Not "how won't you get here". That's utterly nonsensical.

PPPPS. Wrong again, the only solution is to do away with the conditional construction altogether.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

In reality, our greatest blessings come to us by way of madness, which indeed is a divine gift. - Socrates

rotting bones
Avisaru
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Re: Popular Songs of Axunai

Post by rotting bones »

No comments at all? Are those "accusative" cases (miim, etc) obligatory or not? I haven't made an in-depth study of the language or anything; a few hints would be appreciated.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

In reality, our greatest blessings come to us by way of madness, which indeed is a divine gift. - Socrates

zompist
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Re: Popular Songs of Axunai

Post by zompist »

Busy with Dhekhnami right now, but I will get to this. Patience. :)

rotting bones
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Re: Popular Songs of Axunai

Post by rotting bones »

Never mind this half-English POS. Please concentrate on Dekhnami, if you don't mind.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

In reality, our greatest blessings come to us by way of madness, which indeed is a divine gift. - Socrates

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