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How exactly do the elcari know which vowel to use for each speaker (in the qebVt form)? Is there a specific order of vowels, or is it personal/familial preference? Could this be distinction the Four Clans make?

Hello?

The first vowel is arbitrary (though the non-circumflexed vowels are higher frequency). After that it's preferred to maximize phonetic distance. So if there are two referents, choose vowels at least two steps of height or frontness away.

As the grammar notes, assignments can be in force after a conversation for an hour or so. So if you had a conversation about Moonlight and Stormcloud using A/O, and within the hour you begin a new conversation about yourself and Nightwind, you would try not to use A/O.

Thanks very much!