Jokes in your conlang

[YourFace]

I'll go first:

Q: Pritnuzgi hez an Kiqqar é an Kigges?
What do a Kiggar* and a p**** have in common?

A: Ézgi sām pust é aster.
They're big and hard.

This joke not only makes fun of the similarities between the words "kiqqar" and "kigges," but this is also, in fact, a true statement.
*a Kiggar is a large fish with a bony outer shell. It's like a crustacean, but shaped like a fish.

[Haplogy]

Why is 'penis' censored?

[YourFace]

No reason.

[finlay]

he's thirteen and is titillated by the word

[finlay]

Anyway, in keeping with the theme, I don't have jokes so much as tongue twisters and near-puns.

For example:
Tankaulukaula sinkauleutanzate
tan-kaulu-kaula si-n-kauleu-tan-za-te
my-happy-tail FUT-PFV-introduce-AGR-2-1
I will introduce you to my happy penis.

Tantatipa sagalui nafansitan nanguzile, nagafentite. Pa pala, tantasipa lusetan.
tan-tati-pa s-galui n-fan-si-tan nan-guzi-le, n-gafen-ti-te. pa pala, tan-tasi-pa luse-tan
my-high-mother a-woman PFV-love-AGR-AGR POSS-time-LOC PFV-surprise-PASS-1 but of.course my-gay-mother COP-AGR
I was surprised when my grandmother fell in love with a woman. But of course, she's my... gay-mother. (ho ho ho)

(tati and tasi are both pronounced tatʃi, if this makes it any clearer. it's primary school stuff however you cut it)

[Shm Jay]

I'll go first:

I guess it's too much to expect that the jokes actually be funny.

[finlay]

rich coming from u mate

[Dē Graut Bʉr]

What would make a non-pun joke funnier in a conlang than in English?

[SilentMember]

The only thing I can think of would be if your conlang had a conculture associated with it, so the jokes would be funny for the conculture.

[YourFace]

The only thing I can think of would be if your conlang had a conculture associated with it, so the jokes would be funny for the conculture.

That's what I wanted.

[prettydragoon]

What, you mean like this?

hea "poyano suure":
mano sana 4ye. raka sokiva ita ha huno oma apiña kuripina neta otiñukava: ii payupa maña sunokiva hi, mape saro homepiñipa tutukavo karo utepa tayakavo:
saki hea supañusa yakavo, sitaño, ma sunokiva, ita ta yoñi homepiñi raka yata netekayo:
ha mana okura himikiri sunokiva hi, hii ma iñayoro vuro huno oma puvomu ireta hemakasevo:
poñeti:
ronutuko
[itorato marapemoñi]

More: show

Dear "Out of the Mouths of Children":
My codaughter just turned 4ye. old and she's learning to use the toilet on her own. The other day she told me, "I'm going to be the Governor when I grow up."
"That's a fine plan, sweetheart", I said, "and why do you want to be just the Governor?"
She looked me in the eye and said, "So I won't have to wash my own butt ever again."
Sincerely,
Bemused
[province withheld]

[Copperknickers]

What would make a non-pun joke funnier in a conlang than in English?

I don't know if anyone in this thread has done much studying of humour in non-Western natlangs, but jokes very seldom translate well even if they don't involve puns, so frankly if they are funny in English they're probably not very realistic. Here are some jokes considered funny in other countries:

パンダの餌は何 ? パンだ! / Panda no esa wa nani? Pan da!

What do pandas eat? Pan Da!*

*Japanese word for bread.

I'm not a Japanese native speaker, but I have it on good authority that there are no hidden depths to that joke, any more than saying 'What do people from Turkey eat: turkeys!'.

Ki az: korán reggel kel, fehér köpenye van, kenyeret süt, de nem pék?
De, pék.

What do you call a man who wakes up early in the morning and wears a white apron, bakes bread, but is not a baker?
No wait, that is a baker.

Again, I beg that someone from Hungary will reprimand me and say that is a terrible joke in Hungarian too, but I don't have high hopes.

And those are relatively familiar cultures. Try some Chinese or ancient Roman jokes and you'll see just how culture specific jokes are. Here's what was considered one of the funniest ancient Roman jokes by Horace, perhaps the most modern and witty of all the Romans:

‘If a painter wanted to put a horse’s head on a human neck, would you be able to keep your laughter in?’

[CatDoom]

While looking for ancient jokes that might actually be funny, I came across this article on mentalfloss which has 11 jokes from the Philogelos, a Greek jokebook from late antiquity. Just written out the way they are they fall pretty flat, but I could actually see most of these getting laughs in a period-piece sit-com or something, if the delivery were snappy.

Edit: Here's a classic Roman joke going back at least to the 4th century, which I think is actually a little funny.

Cuiusdam provincialis iocus asper innotuit. Intraverat Romam simillimus Caesari et in se omnium ora converterat. Augustus perduci ad se hominem iussit, visumque hoc modo interrogavit: Dic mihi, adolescens, fuit aliquando mater tua Romae? Negavit ille, nec contentus adiecit: Sed pater meus saepe.

Here's an English translation from Wikipedia:

"Some provincial man has come to Rome, and walking on the streets was drawing everyone's attention, being a real double of the emperor Augustus. The emperor, having brought him to the palace, looks at him and then asks: Tell me, young man, did your mother come to Rome anytime?

The reply was: she never has. But my father frequently was here."

[hwhatting]

That joke goes back so far? I've seen versions with various German princes asking the question. Quid est fons?

[CatDoom]

It comes from Marcobius' Saturnalia, book II, chapter IV, line 20; the original Latin text is here. That joke is one of relatively few parts of the book that I've been able to find in English; there is a translation available, but not for free.

A more direct translation of the Latin would be:

"A certain coarse provincial joke has been noted.

One most similar to Caesar had entered Rome, and all eyes turned to him. Augustus ordered that the man be conducted to him, and it seems he inquired in this manner:

'Tell me, young man, was your mother ever at Rome?'

He denied it, and not satisfied he added:

'But my father often was.'"

[hwhatting]

Gratias te ago!

[Dewrad]

A Dravian joke:

C'è n'actastro qui jè meis a càrcer per jèstro tòblo. Apòi qu'è lasçat, la milisa lo cataja ent na cambra de n'otel, e que jal jè cu fotènd o tasat.

- Qué se treçta ?

- Ah, dòn milisare, jèu hai zòst entrat o pai noav.

An actor is sent to jail for being homosexual. After his release, the police discover him in a hotel room having it away with a boy.

"What's going on here then?"

"Ah, officer, I've just turned over a new leaf".

The punchline relies on the Dravian idiom entrar o pai noav, which literally means 'to enter a new country' and is equivalent to the English 'to turn over a new leaf'. However, the noun pai 'country' is homophonous with the somewhat dated noun pai 'male servant, bellboy'. The punchline is therefore ambiguous between "I've just turned over a new leaf" and "I've just entered the bellboy".

As expected for the context, the register of the joke is fairly colloquial: it's narrated entirely in the present tense, and makes use of lang such as tòblo 'gay' and fòtro 'fuck' (not quite as offensive in Dravian, hence I've translated it as 'having it away'). Additionally, there are a few pragmatic things worth noting: as English jokes of this type normally open with a formula like 'so there was this guy', the equivalent in Dravian is c'è 'it is' followed by a noun qualified by a relative clause. In this case, the noun is actastro- the normal word for 'actor' is actur, the suffix -astro (cognate to the English -aster or French -âtre) is fully productive in Dravian and is used to creat dyslogistic or faintly opprobatory variants on the root: here the sense is something like 'an old ham'.

EDIT: @hwatting: grātiās tibi agō.

[hwhatting]

EDIT: @hwatting: grātiās tibi agō.

pudens abeo