Là attitudes toward sex

[Salmoneus]

Yes, there's a whole thread right there. But this is going to be a long answer, so I'm posting it separately. The first post is just what I've already posted, but I'm posting it again for completeness and context.

Biological Theories
Mainstream Là theories hold that both the substance and the form of the child issue solely from the mother. The mother’s sexual partner has no essential role in this process.

This raises two questions: why do women need to engage in sex in order to have children; and why do men desire to engage in sex, given that the children thus begotten are not truly theirs?

In answering the first question, Là theoreticians largely concede that coitus is generally a prerequisite of childbirth, although some theoreticians do continue to hold that this causal link is spurious, and that pregnancy may be possible in rare cases without sex (or where the only sex has been with women, animals, eunuchs, etc.). Popular belief agrees with this minority: while all agree that, all else being equal, sex makes pregnancy more likely, most believe that pregnancy is possible without sex on rare occasions. All agree, however, that pregnancy is impossible without prior rupture of the hymen, and most agree that prior penetrative sex of some kind, at some time in a person’s life, is likewise required.

In explaining the nature of conception, modern Là theoreticians employ the model developed several centuries ago by the monk Kulàrandrang the Birth-Sage, which likens the womb to fertile earth, and the egg to a hardy seed that opens itself to the earth only when subjected to fire. In the case of humans, this ‘fire’ is strongly associated with orgasm, which is therefore believed to be central to conception. The exact details are debateable. In general, there are two main schools: those who follow Kulàrandrang in seeing orgasm as the body’s release of heat and energy, which is then concentrated in the womb to produce an intense flash that opens the seed and results in conception (i.e. those who see orgasm as the cause of conception), and the more modern theoreticians (who have displaced but far from eradicated the older school) who believe that the woman’s experience of orgasm is only a sensation of the underlying phenomenon of conception, that the intense heat of conception is experienced by the woman as orgasm (i.e. those who see orgasm as the result of conception).

The problem inevitably then arises of orgasms that do not lead to conception. Kulàrandrang stressed that the germinating heat of orgasm could only open a seed that was ready and well-planted in the womb, and further that defects in the seed, or in the prevailing conditions in the womb, could lead to immediate failure of the seed. The modernists, on the other hand, question the unity of the orgasm-concept, suggesting a distinction between true conceptive orgasm and ‘apparent’ orgasm that mimics the appearance of conceptive orgasm to a greater or lesser extent (often assumed to be less pleasurable, although it is conceded that in some cases it is difficult to tell the difference). The two schools therefore take different approaches to infertility: the traditionalists stress the mechanics of the ovulatory cycle and medicines designed to increase the receptiveness of the womb and the fecundity of the ovaries, while the modernists emphasise the psychological dimension, warning that not everything a woman finds pleasurable is a true, conceptive orgasm, and enjoining the woman’s partners to greater efforts to mentally and physically please her. Needless to say, in practice most would agree on the importance of both aspects, to varying extents: even the traditionalists agree that conception is impossible without orgasm (they just believe that orgasms are more common and easier to achieve) and even modernists agree that the seed and the womb must both be healthy (they just believe that a higher baseline level of fertility obtains, and that most problems with conception, as distinct from later miscarriage, are not due to physical defects).


It is acknowledged by experts in the field that some women may conceive without experiencing orgasm – though this is considered rare. In these cases, it is believed that orgasm does occur, but is simply concealed from the mind, and hidden by the body. This may occur for either physical or psychological reasons. Most often it is believed to occur in cases of rape, in which cases it is theorised that the woman’s body sometimes refuses to show signs of pleasure, even to the woman herself, so as to maintain the woman’s dignity, and so as not to encourage or mislead the rapist. However, it is known that this common physical response (or non-response) does not occur in all cases of rape.

Turning to the male, there are also three theories to explain why coitus dramatically increases the chances of conception. The earlier, traditional theory holds that semen is an aphrodisiac, which both amplifies female desire and encourages female orgasm, particularly when injected into the womb. Kulàrandrang did not challenge this theory directly, but he further speculated that semen might contain certain nutrients that nurtured growth in the seed; some of his followers have emphasised this aspect to the extent of making it the primary function of semen, and the primary explanation for why conception was less likely without coitus. A third, later theory, while again not denying the aphrodisiac qualities of semen, does downplay them, and suggests that semen instead acts as a sort of solvent, helping to crack open the case of the seed. In recent times, the original aphrodisiac theory is favoured by hardline modernists, and by the populace at large, while the solvent theory has become the default view among the experts. The nutrient theory is held by hardline traditionalists, but recently has experienced a resurgence, due to new scientific experiments. Crucially, the nutrient theory, unlike its rivals, places the role of semen shortly after conception, rather than during conception; and certain indelicate but scientifically interesting experiments now purport to have demonstrated that injection of semen into the womb immediately after orgasm can result in pregnancy. As a result, this theory may now be considered the favoured option of those invested in cutting-edge theory, although these experiments are not without their critics – in particular, some believe that the women were simply undergoing an occulted orgasm on introjection, analogous to those that result sometimes in pregnancy in rape victims, perhaps as a result of the unnatural circumstances of the experiments. It must also be observed that most theoreticians are willing to consider that all three theories may have elements of truth in them, though the relative proportions of truth are still debated.

The next fundamental question asks why men are interested in sex. Women clearly have learnt that sex increases their chances of conception, and women are believed to have an inherent drive to reproduce. But as the man does not reproduce, why is he so keen on the whole business?
There are three main theories here, although on this question there is little disagreement per se – rather, the explanations are regarded as complementary.
The first theory is that sex is enjoyable, and sought out for its pleasure value. There are obviously many reasons why people might find sex pleasant, but the core of this issue is the mystery of the male orgasm: as the orgasm is a part of the female reproductive process, why do males appear to have them at all? The answer has two parts.

Firstly, it is often denied that males have orgasms at all. It is observed that the pleasure accompanying male ejaculation is brief and isolated, compared to the potentially enduring and/or rapidly repeatable orgasms of females (the question of whether multiple orgasms signify multiple conceptions (most of which then fail, possibly by immediate cannibalism within the womb), or are merely the experience of a single process of seed-cracking that in some women is prone to occur in distinct stages or waves, is a vexed one among followers of the modernist theory of conception); and most concede that the pleasure women appear to experience is far greater than that experienced by men. Male orgasm is therefore considered only a shadow or imitation of the real orgasm. Modernists further link this to the two types of orgasm experienced by women, suggesting that non-conceptive orgasms among both men and women are only imitations of true orgasm.

Secondly, the cause of these pseudo-orgasms is located in embryonic development. Some theorists argue that the male pseudo-orgasm is vestigial, an echo left over from the female embryo (all embryos are believed to begin female, and some then become male in the womb). The more common theory, however, is that the body of the mother intentionally, for the good of her sisters and daughters, imbues the male with a simulacrum of her own capacity for sexual pleasure, precisely in order to encourage men to have sex (including by deluding ignorant men into thinking that their share of orgasm may signify a significant role in procreation).

In addition to the man’s own pleasure, it is then believed that men are lead into sex by empathy and the desire to please: knowing not only how pleasurable sex is for women, but how important childbirth is to them, men are eager to serve them in a sexual function. Rape is often therefore considered the product of a mental disordering: a case of a means (sex) employed even in cases that contradict the proper ends (female pleasure) of that means. [Regardless of its possible psychological causes, rape is condemned for these reasons under the Là theories of aesthetics]

Finally, the male desire not only to have sex but to impregnate women is believed to, in part, be rational. This is because although the child is solely the product of the mother, in both substance and form, the child may develop in the womb in different ways depending upon its environment, including the moods of the mother – this is why children are not identical to their mother. It is widely believed that the mother, thinking frequently about her lover, actually moulds her child’s form in the womb, pressuring it to conform to features of its father’s form. Men therefore naturally wish to seduce women and help them become pregnant, as the child will bear elements of the father’s form – even though he has had no direct causal role in this resemblance. It is important to note that Là metaphysics stress the corporeality and transience of bodily substance, while animacy is considered unitary and without characteristics: it is form, therefore, that gives each thing its identity, and therefore for a child to have a similar form to a man is in a literal sense a sharing of elements of identity.

For these reasons, women who give birth to boys are often thought of as selfless or more greatly in love, because they have dwelt on the man so much in their mind that their child has become manly. However, it is recognised that the primary reason for boys is because they will grow up to be useful to women, and hence there are reasons other than love that may determine the sex of children. On the one hand, the need to propagate the female line is paramount (a woman so in love with her husband that she can produce only sons is a beautiful tragedy); on the other hand, it is observed that powerful men have more sons, perhaps because the woman’s body subconsciously is choosing to flatter the man.

Importantly, however, this element of fatherhood is not directly linked to conception. It is generally acknowledged that a woman is most likely to be thinking of the man who inspired her to conceive (women may not be aware they are thinking of him, of course – the Là believe that people may have many ‘subconscious’ thoughts they are not directly aware of without intense reflection); however, it is not uncommon for children to bear resemblance to other people. Often in stories, for example, a woman who has sex only with a jealous husband may bear children who appear to be the child of the woman’s true love, simply because she has been thinking of him. It is also acknowledged that women may be tormented by thoughts of those they are not in love with – it is therefore no surprise if, for example, a rape victim conceives a child who resembles the rapist. Moreover, although strong resemblance to the father is a sign of love, men do not generally take offence if the connection is less obvious: they instead will be flattered that the woman trusts them not to demand such superficial proofs of her affection. At least, most will say they are not disappointed. It is also worth noting that as the child continues growing, they may continue to be influenced, either by the thoughts embedded within their bodies or by their own thinking, by the men around them. Thus children often grow more like their father-figures, regardless of who was physically present with their mother when they were conceived. 

[Salmoneus]

Informed by these psychobiological theories, a psychosocial perspective emerges, regarding the motivations and utility of sex.

Là psychosociology relies on three ‘motivational’ concepts. Firstly, it is acknowledged that there exist certain ‘cravings’, sundrù. The concept most easily translated as ‘motivation’, however, is tamengyaka, literally “falling down”, and alternatively translated ‘purpose’, ‘nature’, ‘classification’, ‘destination’, or ‘function’. Animate things – those that possess kàyan (‘animacy’, ‘force’, ‘spirit’) – have either sundrù or tamengyaka – and sapient creatures possess both. To put that another way, brute animals have cravings, which are akin to an ‘upwelling’ of animacy, a source of animacy, while tools have utility, which equates to a channelling or expenditure of animacy – both therefore have animacy flowing through them; but humans may be both the source of animacy flows and a channel for flows originating in others. Sundrù is considered a mindless, indefinable force; it cannot provide a reason for anything, because it is irrational. Reason is embodied in tamengyaka, which defines the purpose of things. The third motivational concept is amuàka, ‘path’ or ‘method’. Properly considered, this is a part of tamengyaka, but it calls attention to way in which the same high-level function may be exercised in different ways. The farmer and the fisherman both have the tamengyaka of producing food, but they each have their own amuàka, their way of performing this function. It is always tamengyaka that is identified as the true motivation of human action – mental thoughts are merely tools in their own right to carry out the tamengyaka more appropriately.

In the sexual sphere, several relevant functions/motivations can be identified arising from biology. The most basic is the function of fulfilling – calming – sexual cravings, which takes two forms: the function of fulfilling one’s own cravings, and the function of fulfilling the cravings of others. An additional function is the function of fulfilling the craving for self-perpetuation – this is obviously stronger among women, for who the self-perpetuation of reproduction is material, as opposed to (as it is for men) merely formal. For women there is a further function of fulfilling the craving for creation, which is unique to women. And for some women there is also the function of fulfilling the craving for perpetuation of the family. More generally, social motivations include intimacy and bonding, and exhibitionism.

Sexual activities must consequently be judged in light of whether they are congruent with, or contrary to, the underlying sexual functions. Most fundamentally, this involves a distinction between two forms of activity: ibarangay, or ‘play’, and kōtang, or ‘copulation’. The latter concerns only activities relevant to the functions of perpetuation. Prototypically, this involves penile-vaginal penetration between adults that results in ejaculation inside the woman. Importantly, however, the same event may be classified differently for different protagonists. For men, conservative approaches may classify any activity resulting in female orgasm as kōtang; for women, orgasms without either penetration or other introduction of semen are only copulation if the woman feels passionately about their partner (since this passion may result in conception). Sex involving brief penetration without ejaculation may be considered copulation between romantic partners, but play between others. Anal penetration is generally considered equivalent to vaginal penetration, though experts (and prostitutes) are aware that conception is much more likely to result from the latter than from the former; oral penetration is generally considered play rather than copulation, although stricter conservatives may disagree. In the cases of young, old, or otherwise medically infertile women, all sexual activity is play for both partners (if both partners are aware of the woman’s status); for infertile men, all activity is play, but activity with infertile men by women may be considered copulation if there is a romantic attachment. Homosexual activity or activity with non-humans is play for males, but may be copulation for females if there is a romantic attachment.


Next: looking at defined behaviours one gender at a time

[Salmoneus]

Tanù

Among aristocrats, where group marriage obtains, attitudes toward sexual activity depend greatly on the sàongo, or ‘gender’ or the individual.

Tanù have as their primary function the protection and perpetuation of the lineage. The most serious sexual disorder among tanù, therefore, is a failure to engage in procreative sex. A tanù who does not want children, or who does not act to produce them, is disturbed: either they are seriously confused, or, more probably, they are not truly tanù at all – a tanù who refuses to reproduce is at risk of being declared kanuhà. This is not a very common occurrence, in part because where the situation arises the tanù is likely to claim mere failure to conceive – probably as a result of inadequate husbandry – and for the sake of the dignity of the house her family is likely to go along with this except where the situation has become critical (i.e. where there is no other source of heirs).

It should be noted that tanù are not expected to be careless of the needs of family planning: indeed, their sexual desires should never lead to so many children that the level of care available to each child becomes too paltry. As tanù give birth to more children, it becomes expected that their attention will increasingly turn to nurturing existing children rather than birthing more; menopause is seen as having this very function (or: being a physical carrying-out of this motivation).

In addition, as part of perpetuating the lineage, tanù are expected to desire intimacy and loyalty within their household, and it is common for them to employ sexual play to help reinforce this. Tanù must not, however, be so sexually driven as to risk driving away their partners. In the interests of harmony, moreover, tanù are generally expected to as much as possible avoid sexual favouritism within the household (except where this favouritism is an appropriate response to and punishment for malfeasance by the disfavoured partner). Tanù are, partly as a result, expected to be generally passive and receptive sexually – they only demand sex when their partners are failing to impregnate them, and they have only a secondary and collegiate interest in the enjoyment of others. Because it is acknowledged that the satisfaction of tanù is the primary purpose of sex, they are, notwithstanding the expectation of passivity, considered to be sexually dominant, and it is they who define the terms and forms of sexual behaviour within the household, within the limits of reason, custom and decorum.

However, despite their considerable power within the household, their sexual liberty is considerably constrained. It is true, and significant, that the lineage of a child passes entirely through the female line; paternity is therefore of very limited legal significance – some property does pass from father to son, and it is theoretically possible for a skeptical father to accuse a mother of infidelity with the intent of refusing to allow the inheritance of the child, but in such cases, unless the father is extremely powerful, or the evidence of non-paternity is indisputable, the word of the mother is considered final. The Là do not, therefore, have anything like the paranoid attitude toward paternity shown by some societies in which paternity is the foundation of legal inheritance. Nonetheless, male investment in children, both emotionally and through inheritance, is considerable enough that infidelity is a serious concern.

As a result, it is considered that a tacit agreement is in place between tanù and their husbands, according to which the tanù must not deceive or mislead the husband regarding paternity. As a result, tanù must not engage in copulation with anyone they are not married to, without the full knowledge of their husbands and wives. Furthermore, for a tanù to copulate with anybody not a member of their household creates ambiguity over the legitimacy of their marriages: those to whom they are officially wed will regard this as a de facto alternative household being formed. As a result, adultery, even with the knowledge of husbands and wives, is generally seen as a way of declaring divorce. This is so even if existing partners consent to the copulation: in this case, all concerned are considered to be creating a misleading ambiguity about who is and who is not a member of the household. Thus, tanù may not copulate with anybody without first explicitly marrying them – although where the existing partners consent, a short period of undeclared ‘trial marriage’ before the wedding is considered acceptable in all but the most dignified families. The danger of incest is also a concern in this regard: to maintain the impeccability of the bloodlines, it is desirable that all people be aware of exactly which men are potential biological fathers of a tanù’s child, to prevent undesirable matches in later generations.

For one tanù to knowingly copulate with someone already married, without the permission of the rival tanù, however, is a grave offence, punishable by death or degradation. Such affairs are contrary to and destructive of the entire structure of civilised society.
These constraints do not apply to mere sexual play. In this case, however, the difficulty is the matter of location. For a tanù to invite an outsider into their household for the purpose of play would undermine the rights, dignity and privacy of her husbands and wives. Conversely, almost any public appearance by a tanù outside their house – certainly one for such an intimate purpose as sexual play – would degrade her own dignity and the dignity of her lineage. Therefore, tanù may only engage in sexual play with members of her household, or with guests in her house, and then only with the consent of her household. It is acceptable for a tanù to engage in play with the husband or wife of a rival tanù, even without the rival’s consent (though the rival may well not be pleased with their spouse); however, due to the penalties associated with copulation in this situation, any such activities will err on the side of caution, and will only take place in the presence of numerous witnesses, including some from ‘third-party’ households, to ensure that there is no threat of malicious allegation. Indeed, it is generally the case that tanù will only engage in any sexual activity with witnesses present, for the sake of decorum. Tanù are rarely encountered in isolation, in any case, as their household exists to protect and entertain them.

In overview, then, within the household tanù are considered sexually dominant, but they exert this dominance through setting the terms of sexual activity, and by extending or denying invitations to their spouses, rather than through demanding or aggressive behaviour. When not withholding sex in order to reinforce their power or punish bad behaviour, they are to be receptive and reactive, and as much as possible to avoid favouritism and to promote collegiality. They often seek to please others in order to maintain loyalty and promote affection, but they are unabashed in insisting that their primary interest is in their own pleasure, particularly in the context of procreation. They are to have a healthy but not necessarily overwhelming sexual appetite, which they prototypically satisfy through penetrative sex. Their desire for sex often wanes with age. They avoid sex outside the house; at intimate social gatherings within their own house, they may engage in sexual play with guests, if their spouses consent, but even at sexual parties they will often abstain, and when they do participate they are likely to refrain from orgasm themselves, both to make clear that the play does not amount to copulation, and because it is expected that their primary sexual drive is procreative, and hence copulatory, rather than merely for pleasure: a tanù who does engage in sex at a party will make clear that she is simply acting as a gracious and affectionate hostess. Whether with outsiders or with her own spouses, a tanù’s sex-life is largely played out with witnesses, or at least without secrecy; tanù are customarily praised for their beauty and elegance, and are encouraged to flaunt it.

Regarding homosexual activities, tanù women may seek to please their wives in the interest of harmony, and may desire to copulate with them. However, their attraction should be primarily toward men, as by far the most reliable source of pregnancy, and they should have no desire of their own to take on behaviour characteristic of other genders.

[Salmoneus]

Kanuhà find themselves in quite a different situation. In aristocratic families, kanuhà are virtually never called on to perpetuate their matrilineage, and this function of perpetuation is therefore not considered a significant element of their psychology. Instead, kanuhà find themselves traded out as wives into other lineages, the adoptive sisters of that lineage’s tanù.

Like tanù, kanuhà are expected to most often desire to have children. However, this desire is not the overriding vital function of lineage-perpetuation that it is in tanù, but rather a mere desire to see themselves reflected in the next generation, added to a desire to create. The former desire in particular may often be met merely by raising the children of the tanù wife or wives. As a result, the desire of an individual kanuhà for procreative copulation may vary wildly, though it should never be too great – that would suggest putting their own reproduction ahead of the reproduction of the family into which they had married. Most sexual activity kanuhà undertake will be sexual play, rather than copulation.

Within the household, kanuhà are sexually subservient to tanù: their role is to please the tanù, and not to aggravate them. They therefore have much less sexual freedom than tanù within the house: not only must they please their tanù, but they may be expected to please the tanù’s husbands also, and may face divorce if they fail to do so – a tanù has no right to compel her wives into sex, with herself or with her husbands, but will often take unkindly to wives who fail to do their part in maintaining harmony in the household. Sexual reticence is generally considered a flaw in a kanuhà, although it is a flaw than many tanù are happy to overlook if their kanuhà has other pleasing virtues. Kanuhà may in particular be expected to take on male behaviours in pleasing (or simply amusing) tanù, particularly if husbands are absent (or out of favour) – though they may also be expected to take on the behaviours of tanù with their husbands, if the real tanù feels temporarily uninterested. They are expected to be flexible to the needs of their wives – although considerable discussion typically precedes the marriage/adoption to ensure that the particular tanù’s vision of married life is something the kanuhà is equipped to deliver. With a sympathetic wife, a kanuhà may have almost total freedom from the demands of her husbands: there is no necessary presumption of sexual receptiveness as in the case of tanù.

Because the children of kanuhà do not perpetuate a lineage (except in extreme circumstances), there is much less concern over their parentage. Out of respect for their husbands, kanuhà do not copulate openly with other men. They may, however, engage in such activities discretely – the level of discretion necessary being proportional to the offence to the husband, largely based on social rivalry, so that an affair with a man of her husband’s rank must be conducted clandestinely, whereas an affair with a man of much lower (or higher) rank merely needs to be conducted without witnesses or public mention. A kanuhà’s tanù may justly regulate the amount of copulation a kanuhà engages in – on the basis of how many children the family is able to support – but may not explicitly forbid affairs outside marriage, except in the case of particular relationships liable to be specifically and unusually disruptive. However, it is a virtue for kanuhà to have a degree of sound judgement, and not to provoke her husbands unduly.

Notwithstanding this, kanuhà have a reputation for promiscuity. In addition to covert copulation, they may engage in overt sexual play, either with guests at home or elsewhere (kanuhà, unlike tanù, having the freedom to spend time outside the family home); except in the case of specific problematic liaisons, the tanù has no right to regulate this. Much of the reputation of kanuhà, however, is owed less to the actual volume of sexual activity engaged in, and more to the typical demeanour of the gender: kanuhà are expected to be assertive and proactive, both in solicitation and in tastes. In addition, because their sex drive is not considered to be related to the good of the household per se, it is assumed that their sexual liaisons will often be unconnected to any personal affections they may have – indeed, outside of the household itself, they are generally encouraged to keep the two things separate. This concept of the kanuhà as a woman who may at any time, and quite brazenly, solicit sex from any acquaintance, or even from strangers, results in a reputation for promiscuity beyond what would be proportional to the actual frequency with which such solicitation occurs.

Regarding homosexual behaviour, this is not always demanded of kanuhà, but very frequently is. This may be through explicit demands from tanù, or through the implicit expectation that kanuhà are in many ways ‘masculine’, and that like men they generally desire to please tanù (and each other) and to inspire tanù (and each other) to conceive offspring for them. As a result, even kanuhà who have no specific strong attraction to other women will likely engage in such behaviour from time to time; typically they are expected to take on masculine mannerisms in doing so. Unlike the case with tanù, it is also possible for kanuhà to be respectably wholly female-oriented in their sexual attraction; this is generally acknowledged by their households, and such women are generally not pressured to have sex with their husbands, though this is at the discretion of their tanù.