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a congress of convoluted conworldery
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 Post subject: Bremsama
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 12:29 pm 
Niš
Niš

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:13 am
Posts: 13
It has been a long time since I posted something here. Summer, work and the political situation in my country made difficult for me keeping track of many things, but my conlang project thrived and evolved. A brief sketch was seen here for the first time before the summer. Now is ready -I think- to resist a more rigorous exam.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1zhUEQXHN6brS5j1xy5uP40R1oLcNSumpexRxDnGUt7k

I'm particularly worried about the script that I have chosen, and I'm still working on some points (mostly pragmatics). Any feedback about what is already done would be greatly appreciated. Keep in mind that is my first conlang, and that I know little about linguistics. I just start learning. I am not looking for corrections on my English spelling and/or grammar for now, but if something is impossible to understand, I will appreciate as well a correction in that direction.

Thanks to all of you in advance, I will try my best to be more active in this community.


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 Post subject: Re: Bremsama
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 1:26 pm 
Avisaru
Avisaru
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Joined: Mon Feb 29, 2016 6:34 am
Posts: 982
Location: The North
Firstly, sort out your bracket usage with regards to the phonology: remember // for phonemes, [] for phonetics (also a chart would be nice). Also your syllabificatin seems highly unusual, you're putting the syllable breaks (generally denoted by a [.] by the way) after all word-internal consonants, even those that would in any other language be assigned to the onset of the following syllable. Also we need a good deal more on the allophony and morphophonology (I mean how do you even pronounce the neutral Instrumental suffix -zsu?)

Secondly, I actually think the script is pretty fine as-is, it's got a nice unifying aesthetic to it and doesn't look like it's an ovrcrowded bunch of random symbols. I'd really love to see what the calligraphy looks like (if there is any yet)!

Thirdly, expand the syntax section, preferrably till it's at least the size of the morphology section. How do subordinate clauses work? How does the comparative construction you hint at work?

Finally give more examples for everything (and if you want to save on space then so long as you've explained the romanisation well you don't really need the separate phonology as part of the gloss.

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 Post subject: Re: Bremsama
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 7:17 pm 
Smeric
Smeric
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Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2015 6:44 am
Posts: 2375
Location: suburbs of Mrin
I've only skimmed it after the phonology and orthography, but it seems amazing so far!

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ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
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 Post subject: Re: Bremsama
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:10 am 
Niš
Niš

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:13 am
Posts: 13
Thanks for this fast and thorough response, Frislander. This is exactly what I was looking for.
Frislander wrote:
Firstly, sort out your bracket usage with regards to the phonology: remember // for phonemes, [] for phonetics (also a chart would be nice). Also your syllabificatin seems highly unusual, you're putting the syllable breaks (generally denoted by a [.] by the way) after all word-internal consonants, even those that would in any other language be assigned to the onset of the following syllable. Also we need a good deal more on the allophony and morphophonology (I mean how do you even pronounce the neutral Instrumental suffix -zsu?)

Oh, crap. Yes. I was afraid of this. I was hoping to put phonology behind me :cry:. Phonology kinda bothers me, as I found it very difficult. I will make my best to standardize the brackets and I will change the notation for syllable breaks. I will try to redefine my syllable structure to make it more naturalistic, and I will work on allophony and morphophonology. To be fair, I was trying to avoid these two last topics, but I suppose that they are a must-have. I see now that this section, that I thought nearly completed, it still needs a good deal of work.

Frislander wrote:
Secondly, I actually think the script is pretty fine as-is, it's got a nice unifying aesthetic to it and doesn't look like it's an ovrcrowded bunch of random symbols. I'd really love to see what the calligraphy looks like (if there is any yet)!

Oh, nice! I was truly worried about similar glyphs. With my handwriting, any calligraphy will look crappy, but I will try my best to include something :-D

Frislander wrote:
Thirdly, expand the syntax section, preferrably till it's at least the size of the morphology section. How do subordinate clauses work? How does the comparative construction you hint at work?

Working on that. :-D

Frislander wrote:
Finally give more examples for everything (and if you want to save on space then so long as you've explained the romanisation well you don't really need the separate phonology as part of the gloss.

I have a couple pages of a short story in the works.

mèþru wrote:
I've only skimmed it after the phonology and orthography, but it seems amazing so far!


Thanks! :-D


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