Confusing headlines and other trips down the garden path

[ivazaéun]

Council cuts 'threat' to rural bus services

On the third reading I realised cuts was a noun and that the council wasn't ending its threat.

[linguoboy]

Mihalopoulos: Trial experience claims a defining issue for Kim Foxx

This headline would make perfect sense to me without the word "claims" in it. I just don't know what to do with it.

[jal]

This headline would make perfect sense to me without the word "claims" in it. I just don't know what to do with it.

It's about claims she made about her experience with trials. Apparently she claimed to have been trying a lot more cases than she did. So it's not that her experience is defining, but her claims about her experience.


JAL

[linguoboy]

A colleague sent me a meeting request with the title "Missing Workflow" and no further explanation. Since we've recently undergone an extensive reorg and it's still not 100% clear what work is the responsibility of our department and what's the responsibility of hers, I thought she wanted to talk about some process that had fallen between the cracks.

Actually, it's to discuss the process for dealing with items which have gone missing.

[linguoboy]

Beeb again: Implying Polish Nazi guilt to be crime

[Vijay]

When I first looked at that headline, I thought it looked almost like word salad. I'm still trying to figure out what it could possibly mean other than "implying that it's a crime to feel guilt for being a Polish Nazi" or something.

EDIT: Oh wait:

The government of Poland plans to introduce a law making it a crime to imply the country bears any responsibility for atrocities carried out on Polish soil by Nazi Germany.

[Salmoneus]

Beeb again: Implying Polish Nazi guilt to be crime

It is wonderful how Auntie is consistently able to reduce the English language to the very precipice of utter non-sense...

[Vijay]

Auntie?

[Salmoneus]

Auntie?

The British Broadcasting Corporation.

[Salmoneus]

...who also bring us:

India school mauling leopard escapes

[jal]

India school mauling leopard escapes

They now call it the "India school attack leopard" - hardly better.

Also: Mystery over 1870 Paris siege balloon letter


JAL

[Vijay]

Here's one that isn't a headline and isn't even in English. It's in an article in a magazine in Malayalam called Vanitha warning against the dangers of using certain wrappings or containers for certain purposes, e.g. using newspaper to wrap fried foods. It begins by asking the reader whether they do things like this, followed by this ambiguous sentence:

എന്നാൽ സൂക്ഷിക്കുക. [jɛn̪ˈn̪aːl ˈsuːʈʃikʲʊga]

സൂക്ഷിക്കുക [ˈsuːʈʃikʲʊga] can mean 'to be careful', and this is the intended meaning here: "Then be careful," i.e. beware of the dangers of doing this.

However, it can also mean 'to maintain' or 'to keep' and is even used in this sense in the sentence that immediately precedes it. So taken out of the general context of the article, it could also be interpreted to mean: "Then keep them there (i.e. keep fried foods wrapped with newspapers, etc.)," which is the exact opposite of what they mean.

[Salmoneus]

India school mauling leopard escapes

They now call it the "India school attack leopard" - hardly better.

Also: Mystery over 1870 Paris siege balloon letter


JAL

Indian schools now have attack leopards!?

[Vijay]

Well, that one does. But it attacks people in the school instead of being owned by the school or something.

[Salmoneus]

Well, that one does. But it attacks people in the school instead of being owned by the school or something.

So you're saying the problem is just that it's a poorly-trained attack leopard?

[Vijay]

No, I'm saying it "has" the attack leopard in the sense that it's in the school...but doesn't own or possess it.

[Salmoneus]

NHS 'never events' total a 'disgrace'

[jal]

I had to read this about ten times before it hit me there was a comma missing somewhere:

Once other cars with similar power but less weight hook up the game starts to change, but by then there’s several car lengths to be made up.

JAL

[Salmoneus]

I had to read this about ten times before it hit me there was a comma missing somewhere:

Once other cars with similar power but less weight hook up the game starts to change, but by then there’s several car lengths to be made up.

JAL

Nope, no comma missing, that's perfectly fine.
You could include two extra commas, but that would probably be pedantic.

[Torco]

where would this lacking comma go? i can only see putting the by then between commas, like so

Once other cars with similar power but less weight hook up the game starts to change, but, by then, there’s several car lengths to be made up.

[Vijay]

Once other cars with similar power but less weight hook up, the game starts to change, but by then, there’s several car lengths to be made up.

[alynnidalar]

I had the same interpretation as Vijay.

[KathTheDragon]

Likewise, but I wouldn't need the second extra comma, after 'by then'

[Vijay]

I wouldn't need one, but I'd think of it as prescriptively correct.

[jal]

Indeed, the comma must go after "hook up". The garden path is of course reading "the game" as object to "hook up", then being startled by "starts". @Sal: I really think that comma needs to be there, "Once ... hook up" is a subordinate clause with a clear pause at the end in speech.


JAL