Venting thread that still excludes eddy (2)

[alynnidalar]

...huh. I have no clue where I got that misconception. Thanks for the correction!

[Viktor77]

My daughter's in the last year of primary school, and needs to chose a secondary school to go to next year. Unfortunately, there's two schools she really likes, and they fucking have fucking decided to have the last possibility to visit the schools (after open days and the like), viz. a demo lessons afternoon, on the same fucking day. So the poor girl not only has to chose between two schools, but to decide what lessons afternoon to go to, which she can't, understandably. And now, to top it off, the ad-hoc (primary) school's chess team she's in has won (thanks to her sheer brilliance of getting the team to win by losing all her matches since she can't play chess very well*), and have advanced to the finals, which are, you guessed it, on that same fucking day.

*Iiuc, not everyone from a team played everyone from the other teams. Some teams had one very strong chess player and some moderates, but her team had only moderate players and a lousy one (her). She noticed the strong players were sitting at a certain table every time, and a team could chose who to send playing against an opponent. So she deliberately played (and lost) against the very strong players, who would also have defeated her team's moderate players, and had the moderate players play against other moderate or weak players, which they did very well.

Oh, and staying on the topic of my daughter: she has pretty severe (but until recently undiagnosed) ADD. She had a blind medicine trial with metylphenidate (Ritalin) of three weeks, randomly taking a placebo, 5mg or 10mg. One week showed very strong effect, the others none. However, the doctor overseeing the test claims the pharmacy has claimed that week 2 was 5mg, and week 3 10. She therefore got 5mg, which she is now using, and which obviously, doesn't work at all, as I predicted. Why can't those fucking medici not have their facts straight in important things like this??? This is like the last possibility for her to be able to study vs. flunking secondary school... Jeez...


JAL

I wish I could help, Jal, but unfortunately I don't know quite what to say.

Though I do want to say your daughter is an utter genius.

[Vijay]

I wish I could help, Jal, but unfortunately I don't know quite what to say.

Ikr? Same here.

[jal]

Luckily, this is a venting thread, not a "please gimme help thread" :). Thanks for the support though guys. She managed to choose one school to visit today (and a friend of hers probably went to the other, so she'll enquire about it tomorrow), even though she still can't make a final choice between the two, and the chess team found a replacement (I don't know how they faired though).


JAL

[----]

So I'm taking an "advanced phonetics and phonology" course and we have two textbooks. One of them is "The Sounds of Language" by Elizabeth Zsiga and this book is REALLY bad. Almost every example has one or more(!!) blatant transcription errors. I can't believe I paid for this shit.

[Vijay]

You just managed to remind me that A Course in Phonetics by Peter Ladefoged has this example from Malayalam whose transcription and translation have both changed over time. He tries to give examples showing that Malayalam has six phonemic nasals. In the 4th edition, his example for the velar nasal is [mʌŋŋi], which he correctly glosses as 'faded'. However, both in the 5th edition and on this website, this example suddenly changes to [kuŋŋi], which is glossed as 'crushed'. Maybe this change happened so that it looks phonetically closer to the other examples, idk, but neither my dad nor I have ever heard of any word pronounced as [kuŋŋi] in Malayalam. It's not in my dictionary, either, and as far as we're aware, the word for 'crushed' is something else entirely, more like [ˈt͡ʃawʈi].

[Viktor77]

So I'm taking an "advanced phonetics and phonology" course and we have two textbooks. One of them is "The Sounds of Language" by Elizabeth Zsiga and this book is REALLY bad. Almost every example has one or more(!!) blatant transcription errors. I can't believe I paid for this shit.

You should complain, either to your professor or university or to the freaking publisher!!

So I never freaking know what to do when I'm with my husband and I meet people from Eastern Europe. They usually ask me who my husband is and I usually try to just walk around the question and find a different topic so I don't have to say, he's my husband, because honestly I just don't know how Eastern Europeans will react. That sounds terribly terribly racist but it comes from a place of experience. Of course I didn't disclose my relationship this time but one time when I met a young and nice Lithuanian girl we got to talking about stuff and gay people came up and her reaction frightened me. It was of disgust at the image of a gay couple kissing during last year's Lithuania song. Now, in good news I finally told a Russian friend and he seems cool with it, and I initially thought he wouldn't be because he's a big supporter of Putin and we got seriously into it one night (it was like the Cold War recreated over beer).

But I also never tell anyone from the Middle East or from Africa, especially if they tell me they are Muslim. One time this backfired when I hid it from a Lebanese friend who then found out and then couldn't stop laughing that I would hide that (but it seemed reasonable since he loved talking about women and wouldn't stop talking to me about what women I liked and how women are...and of course frightened a bit I went along with it and pretended I was straight).

Long story short, it happened again tonight when I met some Czech girls. I didn't know what to do. It sometimes sucks to be gay and married. I never know what to do when it comes to disclosing our relationship.

[Vijay]

This is why I have never come out to my family as not entirely straight and why I never even expect to. My relationship with my family is bad enough as it is; I don't need it to become even more complicated. One of my uncles is so homophobic he even made his whole (immediate) family change pastors just to avoid one who turned out to be gay. This is also why I prefer not to talk about certain topics with most Eastern Europeans I know, especially about Roma, but sometimes, I just can't help it because a discussion is already underway. Fortunately, I have met Eastern Europeans I could talk about these things with without getting into a big stupid argument about it, too.

[Viktor77]

This is why I have never come out to my family as not entirely straight and why I never even expect to. My relationship with my family is bad enough as it is; I don't need it to become even more complicated. One of my uncles is so homophobic he even made his whole (immediate) family change pastors just to avoid one who turned out to be gay. This is also why I prefer not to talk about certain topics with most Eastern Europeans I know, especially about Roma, but sometimes, I just can't help it because a discussion is already underway. Fortunately, I have met Eastern Europeans I could talk about these things with without getting into a big stupid argument about it, too.

I'm sorry to hear about your family. That's tough. I know it doesn't mean much but I am really sorry to hear that. People can surprise you, I will say that. Of course they can also surprise you in opposite ways. I've been through both. My grandparents pleasantly surprised me by accepting my homosexuality, but an aunt went completely bonkers about it so...the good thing is none of her siblings, including my mother, would have any of it and so she's become a bit of the black sheep of the family (though she really did that by being balls-deep in a religious megachurch cult, the homosexual comments were just part of her big package of religious intolerance). I do love though that my grandfather, her father, calls her crazy which is just the just deserts I needed.

[Vijay]

Thanks! Tbh, for me personally, it isn't even that much of an important facet of my identity, although for all I know, that could be because I haven't lost my virginity yet despite having a pretty high sex drive. My dad has caught me jerking off to gay porn before, though. It was awkward, but what bothers him isn't so much the idea that I might be gay or something as the dangers that openly gay people can and do face. So he's really just worried about whether I'll be safe. I think he worries way too much already, though.

If I came out to my family, I think my brother might be surprised, but I don't think he'd be super-weird about it. I have trouble imagining my sister-in-law making a huge deal out of it, either, or probably the majority of my cousins for that matter. My niece is too young to know what sex is yet, lol. My mom would never stop talking about it, at least not for months, because she never does when she's unpleasantly surprised by something I did (or said. Usually said). I'm not too sure about her siblings, though; I think they'd be weird about it at first, but after that? I'm not sure. But I guess it's really my uncle who I'm most worried about. I imagine he wouldn't let me talk to his wife or children. That's also more or less what I'd expect if one of my mom's friends found out because her husband is really homophobic; I don't think they'd come to our house or let me visit theirs, though it's not like I see them that often anyway.

[jmcd]

Danger and safety appear to be themes in your family: it seems to be the same motivation for the constant heating.

[Vijay]

Heating? You mean like tension?

Yep, danger and safety sure are themes in my family. It's an Indian family, after all. Safety isn't something you take for granted when you grow up in a country where you can trust virtually no one.

[jal]

That sounds terribly terribly racist

No it doesn't. Eastern Europe is a cesspool of intolerance, with nationalistic, close-minded, xenophobic, homophobic, conservative governments, that reflect the average opionion of the people. Though I may be predjudiced, Eustern Europeans do not constitute a race however, so racists this ranting is not :).


JAL

[Viktor77]

That sounds terribly terribly racist

No it doesn't. Eastern Europe is a cesspool of intolerance, with nationalistic, close-minded, xenophobic, homophobic, conservative governments, that reflect the average opionion of the people. Though I may be predjudiced, Eustern Europeans do not constitute a race however, so racists this ranting is not .

Yea, perhaps not but perhaps mildly xenophobic. I love Eastern Europe, I just worry about how they see us gays.

Who knew finding one single Dutch movie script would be this hard? It's as if nothing has ever been written in Dutch. Even on forums they tell people looking for Dutch scripts to improve script writing to use English ones...I just want one script that I can use to practice translating my Dutch to English...It's a good way to learn colloquial language. I do it in French all the time and I've never had trouble finding French scripts.

[jal]

Who knew finding one single Dutch movie script would be this hard? It's as if nothing has ever been written in Dutch. Even on forums they tell people looking for Dutch scripts to improve script writing to use English ones...I just want one script that I can use to practice translating my Dutch to English...It's a good way to learn colloquial language.

I googled a bit, but it is indeed impossible to find them. Probably something to do with copyright and the like. You're better off listening to Dutch movies, at least these are easy to find :).


JAL

[gestaltist]

Switching to Linux is always a smart move.

Yes, there are no situations in which this isn't a smart move. I agree that Linux is a viable solution for a lot of folks, and I used to run Archlinux on my previous laptop, but it's not the right solution for everyone (including me right now).

[Vijay]

Who knew finding one single Dutch movie script would be this hard?

Tbh I don't think I've ever found one for any language other than English, although I'll take your word for French and suppose that's also true for Spanish and maybe Mandarin Chinese, German, and, oh, idk, Russian. For Indian languages, even major ones, it seems you're more likely to find the English subs online than you are to find the script in the original language.

[Viktor77]

Who knew finding one single Dutch movie script would be this hard? It's as if nothing has ever been written in Dutch. Even on forums they tell people looking for Dutch scripts to improve script writing to use English ones...I just want one script that I can use to practice translating my Dutch to English...It's a good way to learn colloquial language.

I googled a bit, but it is indeed impossible to find them. Probably something to do with copyright and the like. You're better off listening to Dutch movies, at least these are easy to find .

Hehe, I found a modern Flemish theatre production that ought to be fun. I'm enjoying the French words mixed in everywhere.

I do watch shows but I'm still struggling to understand even with subtitles because of my lack of vocab. I figured a translation exercise would help me most as I'm quite frankly bored of online exercises. I crave something more, I don't know, contexualized or authentic.

Yea, I might look for one in German too. Hmm.....

[jmcd]

Heating? You mean like tension?

Yep, danger and safety sure are themes in my family. It's an Indian family, after all. Safety isn't something you take for granted when you grow up in a country where you can trust virtually no one.

By heating, I meant putting things in the micro that don't necessarily need. It may well be motivated by a fear of food poisoning.

Viktor:
If I were you, I'd be open about it to almost anyone other than a dickish boss or a violent motherfucker.

[Vijay]

By heating, I meant putting things in the micro that don't necessarily need. It may well be motivated by a fear of food poisoning.

Oh, OK. Yeah, it is, especially since my parents prefer to make food at least a week in advance and keep it around, but it doesn't always get finished before it goes bad.

[din]

So I never freaking know what to do when I'm with my husband and I meet people from Eastern Europe. They usually ask me who my husband is and I usually try to just walk around the question and find a different topic so I don't have to say, he's my husband, because honestly I just don't know how Eastern Europeans will react. That sounds terribly terribly racist but it comes from a place of experience. Of course I didn't disclose my relationship this time but one time when I met a young and nice Lithuanian girl we got to talking about stuff and gay people came up and her reaction frightened me. It was of disgust at the image of a gay couple kissing during last year's Lithuania song. Now, in good news I finally told a Russian friend and he seems cool with it, and I initially thought he wouldn't be because he's a big supporter of Putin and we got seriously into it one night (it was like the Cold War recreated over beer).

But I also never tell anyone from the Middle East or from Africa, especially if they tell me they are Muslim. One time this backfired when I hid it from a Lebanese friend who then found out and then couldn't stop laughing that I would hide that (but it seemed reasonable since he loved talking about women and wouldn't stop talking to me about what women I liked and how women are...and of course frightened a bit I went along with it and pretended I was straight).

Long story short, it happened again tonight when I met some Czech girls. I didn't know what to do. It sometimes sucks to be gay and married. I never know what to do when it comes to disclosing our relationship.

I don't think the Czech are all that intolerant? Maybe I'm wrong.

Generally, I just refer to my husband whenever it makes sense in the conversation. That draws as little attention to it as possible, while treating it as totally normal at the same time (which it is), so you rarely get severe reactions. If you go through a whole "Well... there's one thing you should know... I'm ... I'm gay..." ordeal, yeah, you put yourself in a vulnerable position, as you talk about it as if it were a shameful thing.

I mean, I've never really had any issues with anyone, including a relatively misogynistic, conservative 55 year old Moroccan coworker. We actually got along quite well because we mostly respected each other. I mean, I was his superior, and being half his age, that definitely led to some other issues every now and then, but that had little to do with being gay.

Really, if you respect them, and they respect you, severe reactions are really quite rare.

[Vijay]

I don't think the Czech are all that intolerant? Maybe I'm wrong.

Not sure about how (in)tolerant the Czech are of gay people, but of Roma? Hoo boy!

[din]

No doubt about that!


Anyway, I completely forgot to post my own problem.

So, back in January I knocked over a glass of wine. The contents of which spilled over my laptop keyboard. I couldn't open the case all the way, as one screw was of a different type, and I didn't have a screwdriver for it. I bought a new screwdriver set the next day, but by that point I'd already stripped the head to such an extent that no screwdriver would have any grip on it anymore. So I had to drill it out. Using a power drill on a laptop is a little scary.

Anyway, once it was finally open I cleaned everything with rubbing alcohol, let it dry, and hoped for the best. Oddly, even though the keyboard and the CD drive bore the brunt of the spill, they came out unscathed. Instead, my hard drive (which barely got any wine on it at all) kept having issues. On start up, the BIOS would report it missing altogether, but it would start up fine on the 2nd try (consistently). Other days, it would start up right away.

Until yesterday, when the self-reporting system returned "IMMINENT FAILURE" of my hard drive. I decided to take it seriously, ran all kinds of tests to find the reason for the error and talked to a guy on a tech forum. Eventually I decided to just buy a new drive last night (even though I don't really have the money -- I'm back in school and I've been buying too much photography gear for my current budget), because we concluded that IMMINENT FAILURE was eventually going to lead to failure anyway. I'm trying to repair it now, if that's possible at all, so that I can use it as a back up drive.

So yeah, the new hard drive is working fine. I'd never cloned or installed hard drives before, so I guess I learned a lot from it, but... I really could have done without this whole experience

[Vijay]

Hey there, (certain) people on a certain other forum! Stop trying to negate my personal experiences just because you don't like me pointing them out, okay?

[Viktor77]

Din, first I am sorry to hear about your computer. If it helps my laptop is on the verge of falling apart and held together with masking tape...but I can't afford a new one. Also I wanted to thank you for your advice earlier. I actually took it and told a few Eastern European friends I was gay and nothing happened so woohoo!

Secondly, I have a rant against Hulu. In Belgium our online streaming services suck ass, so we did what everyone does and invested in a good VPN. It's great for Netflix and for Pandora, but apparently Hulu has all the IP addresses blacklisted. I spoke with Hulu and they agreed to refund my subscription I restarted today after finding out I couldn't watch anything. It's very frustrating. We were Hulu addicts back in the US and it's been annoying living without it. At least now we have proper Netflix and can get Pandora back, but this geographical region locking is so outdated in today's world and just ridiculous!

Vijay, sorry to hear that BTW. I find forum drama tends to be a lot like real life workplace or friend drama haha.