Venting thread that still excludes eddy (2)
Re: Venting thread
Do they ever just leave the package there?
Re: Venting thread
I wish the place I lived in didn't leave packages at the doorstep. I remember earlier this year a package arrived while I was out and it was ruined by heavy rain.
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: Venting thread
Short reply re. packages: one of the Berlin newspapers had a front page story a couple of months ago about a courier leaving a note saying someone's package was "at a neighbour's house: _blue rubbish bin_______" (blaue Mülltonne) ... and the bin had already been emptied.
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So, even though this is mostly positive stuff, I'm writing it here because it fits with all the other stuff I've written in the past in this thread.
It's been interesting having my mum and my brother in Berlin. The other night, I really saw my mum's behaviour objectively - because I've learned a lot over the last few years, and also because I had my brother there who knows what she's like. I've realised how incredible dominant she is in conversations - like, I literally start saying a few sentences and then she tells me her opinion as if it's my opinion. A couple of weeks ago, she told us this story about people getting really sick and even dying from bacteria or parasites in mouse droppings that had been on the top of aluminium drink cans (from a FB share thing so ... who knows). I told her "I hardly ever drink anything out of a can these days anyway" and she says "Nah, it tastes like alumium!" ... I was like "That might be why you don't but ..." "It does though! You can just taste it, it's not good." Righteo! I guess I've been told. She does that kind of thing constantly and I've realised, a lot of the time I feel like she doesn't even know me because a lot of the time I can't be bothered to tell her my opinions on things unless it's really worth fighting through the conversation to get there.
Anyway, the conversation the other night all started when I was saying how much it annoys me when people criticise fat people for getting a diet coke with their five hamburgers or whatever - it annoys me just because it's illogical and it's coming from an all or nothing point of view - and then my mum pointed out that diet drinks are actually worse because the artificial sweeteners apparently raise your cravings for sweet things, which is a completely fair criticism, but that's not what annoys me about when people criticise fat people. The criticism of fat people that I was complaining about is not coming from a facts-based point of view of "actually, that's doing more harm than good" but more of a "well, you're eating so much shit, why not go the whole hog!? Don't pretend you give a shit!" It just annoys me in general when people are so quick to judge other people doing anything good for themselves ... it's the same as when people laugh at fat people doing exercise.
Then my mum starts going on about how fat people should just drink water and bla bla bla, like, really launching into a lecture and I just said something like "Jesus fucking Christ, I'm not even fat and you're moralising about what fat people should do ... when I was actually trying to tell you it really annoys me when people do that" ... she then acts completely outraged, hand to chest "I'm not moralising, darling" and my brother cuts in with "You're saying what other people should do - that is moralising!". Our mother then looks at us and asks "Are you trying to pick a fight with me?" We were both like "What?" and then she starts "jokingly" going "All right, I'll just sit in the corner and cry then, nobody loves me, I'm going to eat worms" (she's said this a lot in my life) and I for the first time I said "And now you're being passive aggressive" and she just acted even more hurt and said "I've come all this way to see you and I thought we were going to have a nice time" ... yeah, like, I ruined your trip by pointing out that you're being passive aggressive! So, yeah, I just dropped it, looked around awkwardly for a bit and then changed the conversation ... but it was a moment when I understood, and I was happy to fall back into behaving in a way that keeps her happy because I was completely aware of it.
Anyway, tonight, we had dinner with a couple who are friends with some friends of mine. My mum and brother met them at a dinner with my friends and it was pretty cool because they were the only people I didn't know at that dinner, and my mum became friends with them. They're really nice, and my mum's a pretty interesting (ie. eccentric, but also intellectually interesting too) old lady and they like her, so we all had dinner in the restaurant at their hotel ... and then there was a thunderstorm (I've never seen such frequent lightning since I came to Berlin! There was never a second without a flicker!) and so we went up to my mum's and brother's room to look out their big windows and my mum started life-storying them. I've seen it before, but this couple looked interested and didn't seem to be awkwardly trying to get out of the conversation, so it was all good. She told them all about how her mother hated her, and the whole story with my father (although she didn't go into the rapes or the full extent of the physical abuse, but she did explain how we never ate around the dining room table because we were in hitting distance, so my brothers and I grew up eating in our rooms) ... I was listening and occasionally participating in the conversation, but I also got out my phone and was reading and writing stuff at the same time. My brother was sitting on his bed on his laptop, and the couple were listening and asking questions. At one point, I looked up and realised that my mum was basically telling me everything - she was looking at me far more than the others. I was aware of it even when I went back to looking at my phone. Like, seriously? I'm still her listener. She's branching out ... and I can't say she shouldn't tell everyone this stuff because ... it's her life and she wouldn't have much to say if she could only stick to nice topics, but yeah, she pretty clearly needs therapy because she's still got this urge to talk about this stuff even with people who've heard it before.
Anyway, I basically wanted to write this down just so I didn't forget the fleeting thoughts I had on it tonight. I've been a bit stressed out having her here, plus starting a second job that I don't feel very capable of doing, plus all the issues that have come up with my rental situation after my flatmate, the lease-holder moved out. I have to become the new leaseholder and the Hausverwaltung (property management people) are all over the place and don't communicate with each other. One of them called my old flatmate, unaware that he'd moved to the other side of the country and told him the rent had to be raised ... she wasn't even aware of how much rent we have been paying ... and when she spoke to me, she made it clear that she didn't know that I had paid rent for the last couple of months or whether my old flatmate paid bond at the beginning of the contract ... like it would be possible to start a contract without paying bond. So, yeah, my counsellor told me in our last session that I should just enjoy the summer before starting therapy straight away because I've been fighting nonstop for the last few years and I need a break ... and to contact him about referral to see a therapist when I feel that things are starting to get wobbly again, but I might get to that point fairly soon. I've been having trouble sleeping lately ... not my usual "too much interesting stuff to think about" that I get when I'm feeling good, but having anxiety about world events and personal life and ... yeah, so ... therapy may be approaching. I just need to get through the current instability ... my higher dose of antidepressants is helping me hold it together ... I feel stressed out, but I'm mostly coping ... not crying anyway.
___________________________________________
So, even though this is mostly positive stuff, I'm writing it here because it fits with all the other stuff I've written in the past in this thread.
It's been interesting having my mum and my brother in Berlin. The other night, I really saw my mum's behaviour objectively - because I've learned a lot over the last few years, and also because I had my brother there who knows what she's like. I've realised how incredible dominant she is in conversations - like, I literally start saying a few sentences and then she tells me her opinion as if it's my opinion. A couple of weeks ago, she told us this story about people getting really sick and even dying from bacteria or parasites in mouse droppings that had been on the top of aluminium drink cans (from a FB share thing so ... who knows). I told her "I hardly ever drink anything out of a can these days anyway" and she says "Nah, it tastes like alumium!" ... I was like "That might be why you don't but ..." "It does though! You can just taste it, it's not good." Righteo! I guess I've been told. She does that kind of thing constantly and I've realised, a lot of the time I feel like she doesn't even know me because a lot of the time I can't be bothered to tell her my opinions on things unless it's really worth fighting through the conversation to get there.
Anyway, the conversation the other night all started when I was saying how much it annoys me when people criticise fat people for getting a diet coke with their five hamburgers or whatever - it annoys me just because it's illogical and it's coming from an all or nothing point of view - and then my mum pointed out that diet drinks are actually worse because the artificial sweeteners apparently raise your cravings for sweet things, which is a completely fair criticism, but that's not what annoys me about when people criticise fat people. The criticism of fat people that I was complaining about is not coming from a facts-based point of view of "actually, that's doing more harm than good" but more of a "well, you're eating so much shit, why not go the whole hog!? Don't pretend you give a shit!" It just annoys me in general when people are so quick to judge other people doing anything good for themselves ... it's the same as when people laugh at fat people doing exercise.
Then my mum starts going on about how fat people should just drink water and bla bla bla, like, really launching into a lecture and I just said something like "Jesus fucking Christ, I'm not even fat and you're moralising about what fat people should do ... when I was actually trying to tell you it really annoys me when people do that" ... she then acts completely outraged, hand to chest "I'm not moralising, darling" and my brother cuts in with "You're saying what other people should do - that is moralising!". Our mother then looks at us and asks "Are you trying to pick a fight with me?" We were both like "What?" and then she starts "jokingly" going "All right, I'll just sit in the corner and cry then, nobody loves me, I'm going to eat worms" (she's said this a lot in my life) and I for the first time I said "And now you're being passive aggressive" and she just acted even more hurt and said "I've come all this way to see you and I thought we were going to have a nice time" ... yeah, like, I ruined your trip by pointing out that you're being passive aggressive! So, yeah, I just dropped it, looked around awkwardly for a bit and then changed the conversation ... but it was a moment when I understood, and I was happy to fall back into behaving in a way that keeps her happy because I was completely aware of it.
Anyway, tonight, we had dinner with a couple who are friends with some friends of mine. My mum and brother met them at a dinner with my friends and it was pretty cool because they were the only people I didn't know at that dinner, and my mum became friends with them. They're really nice, and my mum's a pretty interesting (ie. eccentric, but also intellectually interesting too) old lady and they like her, so we all had dinner in the restaurant at their hotel ... and then there was a thunderstorm (I've never seen such frequent lightning since I came to Berlin! There was never a second without a flicker!) and so we went up to my mum's and brother's room to look out their big windows and my mum started life-storying them. I've seen it before, but this couple looked interested and didn't seem to be awkwardly trying to get out of the conversation, so it was all good. She told them all about how her mother hated her, and the whole story with my father (although she didn't go into the rapes or the full extent of the physical abuse, but she did explain how we never ate around the dining room table because we were in hitting distance, so my brothers and I grew up eating in our rooms) ... I was listening and occasionally participating in the conversation, but I also got out my phone and was reading and writing stuff at the same time. My brother was sitting on his bed on his laptop, and the couple were listening and asking questions. At one point, I looked up and realised that my mum was basically telling me everything - she was looking at me far more than the others. I was aware of it even when I went back to looking at my phone. Like, seriously? I'm still her listener. She's branching out ... and I can't say she shouldn't tell everyone this stuff because ... it's her life and she wouldn't have much to say if she could only stick to nice topics, but yeah, she pretty clearly needs therapy because she's still got this urge to talk about this stuff even with people who've heard it before.
Anyway, I basically wanted to write this down just so I didn't forget the fleeting thoughts I had on it tonight. I've been a bit stressed out having her here, plus starting a second job that I don't feel very capable of doing, plus all the issues that have come up with my rental situation after my flatmate, the lease-holder moved out. I have to become the new leaseholder and the Hausverwaltung (property management people) are all over the place and don't communicate with each other. One of them called my old flatmate, unaware that he'd moved to the other side of the country and told him the rent had to be raised ... she wasn't even aware of how much rent we have been paying ... and when she spoke to me, she made it clear that she didn't know that I had paid rent for the last couple of months or whether my old flatmate paid bond at the beginning of the contract ... like it would be possible to start a contract without paying bond. So, yeah, my counsellor told me in our last session that I should just enjoy the summer before starting therapy straight away because I've been fighting nonstop for the last few years and I need a break ... and to contact him about referral to see a therapist when I feel that things are starting to get wobbly again, but I might get to that point fairly soon. I've been having trouble sleeping lately ... not my usual "too much interesting stuff to think about" that I get when I'm feeling good, but having anxiety about world events and personal life and ... yeah, so ... therapy may be approaching. I just need to get through the current instability ... my higher dose of antidepressants is helping me hold it together ... I feel stressed out, but I'm mostly coping ... not crying anyway.
Glossing Abbreviations: COMP = comparative, C = complementiser, ACS / ICS = accessible / inaccessible, GDV = gerundive, SPEC / NSPC = specific / non-specific
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MY MUSIC
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MY MUSIC
Re: Venting thread
My headphones are malfunctioning: the right speaker has no bass frequencies whatsoever. Fortunately, I have another pair of headphones (the ones I use with my computer). Unfortunately, this one has a very short lead, too short to go from my hi-fi system to my bed.
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alynnidalar
- Avisaru
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 9:35 pm
- Location: Michigan, USA
Re: Venting thread
I'm gettin' reeeeeeeal tired of my project lead's tendency to blame us for everything (while never, ever taking responsibility for his own errors), condescending attitude, and insistence on his way or the highway. A coworker on a different project has been urging me to talk to my manager to get assigned to a different project, and I really think I need to, for my own sanity. Literally the best part of working with this project lead is that he never actually talks to us (except when he does talk to me, it's infuriating and frustrating). This is, obviously, also the worst part, because it's just another sign of how dysfunctionally he runs this project--no organization, no communication, no collaboration. And no progress, most of the time.
So... I really think I need to have that talk with my manager.
(the dilemma is, I'm a very lazy person. And this team is perfect for that, because the project lead never pays attention to what you're doing, so if e.g. you want to spend four hours creating verb declensions for a sketchlang, no one will notice. If I were on a different team, I'd actually have to get stuff done and be reasonably competent at it, and that's scary. On the other hand, being on a functional team where people take responsibility could serve as external motivation for me to accomplish things, because God knows I have no internal motivation.)
(oh and no, my company unfortunately can't fire the project lead. He doesn't actually work for us. He has his own little consulting company and subcontracts part of it out to my company, so there's three of us who work on his project in addition to his own devs. Maybe I'll get lucky and my company will decline renewing the contract when it comes up again)
So... I really think I need to have that talk with my manager.
(the dilemma is, I'm a very lazy person. And this team is perfect for that, because the project lead never pays attention to what you're doing, so if e.g. you want to spend four hours creating verb declensions for a sketchlang, no one will notice. If I were on a different team, I'd actually have to get stuff done and be reasonably competent at it, and that's scary. On the other hand, being on a functional team where people take responsibility could serve as external motivation for me to accomplish things, because God knows I have no internal motivation.)
(oh and no, my company unfortunately can't fire the project lead. He doesn't actually work for us. He has his own little consulting company and subcontracts part of it out to my company, so there's three of us who work on his project in addition to his own devs. Maybe I'll get lucky and my company will decline renewing the contract when it comes up again)
I generally forget to say, so if it's relevant and I don't mention it--I'm from Southern Michigan and speak Inland North American English. Yes, I have the Northern Cities Vowel Shift; no, I don't have the cot-caught merger; and it is called pop.
Re: Venting thread
Another bloody cold. Now I can look forward to another fortnight of feeling lousy with an immune system even more wrecked than usual.
Zompist's Markov generator wrote:it was labelled" orange marmalade," but that is unutterably hideous.
Re: Venting thread
I'm female and homosexual. So over Pride weekend I got a hatchet, spray-painted pink, thrown through my window, accompanied by lots of messages about raping and torturing me to death in re: not agreeing that women are whatever males say they are. I'm ashamed to say I've finally -- after years of shit far worse than this -- gone to the police... who insist anything I say to them go through their Queer liaison, who in turn recommends I be charged with a hate crime for bringing any of this up in public.
CONLANG Code: C:S/G v1.1 !lafh+>x cN:L:S:G a+ x:0 n4d:2d !B A--- E-- L--- N0 Id/s/v/c k- ia--@:+ p+ s+@ m-- o+ P--- S++ Neo-Khitanese
Re: Venting thread
@kuroda:
Where is this?
Where is this?
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: Venting thread
Wtf?kuroda wrote:I'm female and homosexual. So over Pride weekend I got a hatchet, spray-painted pink, thrown through my window, accompanied by lots of messages about raping and torturing me to death in re: not agreeing that women are whatever males say they are. I'm ashamed to say I've finally -- after years of shit far worse than this -- gone to the police... who insist anything I say to them go through their Queer liaison, who in turn recommends I be charged with a hate crime for bringing any of this up in public.
Re: Venting thread
That's why I recommend not to reveal his preference for conlangs...
Especially since the pleasure it gives is even more intense...
Especially since the pleasure it gives is even more intense...
Re: Venting thread
Yes, I'd like to know as well - sounds like a really shitty place.mèþru wrote:@kuroda:
Where is this?
@ xxx: If you think you're funny, you aren't.
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vampireshark
- Avisaru
- Posts: 738
- Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:02 pm
- Location: Luxembourg
- Contact:
Re: Venting thread
Went to an MTG Grand Prix over the weekend in Metz. Should've been fun, and was fun... and then I discovered one of my decks was stolen during the event. About 5 years of work and €1300 worth of cards just gone like that, including some of the first cards I opened, some things a friend loaned me, and a number of other things that'll be quite costly to replace. Now I'm having to navigate filing a police report in France (not in the country I live in), and I'm quite lost with the process and am finding out I might have to physically go back to Metz to file the complaint. Not fun.
Also, adding icing onto the cake, I got to the train station to go back to Luxembourg... and discovered that there was no train for about 90 minutes, and the train that was going back wasn't one the ticket I had was valid for! More money going poof.
Also, adding icing onto the cake, I got to the train station to go back to Luxembourg... and discovered that there was no train for about 90 minutes, and the train that was going back wasn't one the ticket I had was valid for! More money going poof.
What do you see in the night?
In search ofvictims subjects to appear on banknotes. Inquire within.
In search of
Re: Venting thread
I hope they'll find your cards, but if French police is anything like police in Germany, they'll just file your report and shrug... solving rates for thefts are appallingly low. I'm sorry for your loss...
Re: Venting thread
I really think so...hwhatting wrote:@ xxx: If you think you're funny, you aren't.xxx wrote:That's why I recommend not to reveal his preference for conlangs...
Especially since the pleasure it gives is even more intense...
Re: Venting thread
@xxx
It really isn't appropriate to joke about that kind of stuff
It really isn't appropriate to joke about that kind of stuff
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: Venting thread
I've known for years that it's basically impossible to find good resources on Dravidian languages, but now, I'm starting to think that maybe it is so bad that if you want to know something about Dravidian languages, you're actually more likely to get reliable information from someone who speaks one than from any of the literature.
Re: Venting thread
From people I know who are second-generation immigrants to the US and from Wikipedia, I get the impression that Indians seem to be much more linguistically self-aware than Europeans.
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: Venting thread
Given how many Indians think that either Sanskrit or Tamil is the mother of all languages (or, at minimum, of all Indian languages) and how my neighbors came to the conclusion that the Neanderthals must have brought the Ramayana to Southeast Asia, I wouldn't say that. 
Re: Venting thread
Known to me primarily as part of the childfree movement. She drew cartoons for VHEMT (the society proposing voluntary human extinction) back in the 1990s: http://www.vhemt.org/paleyart.htmVijay wrote:Pretty much. Also, a cartoonist and free culture activist.kuroda wrote:To loop back to the original post in this subthread (is that the word for it?), I feel I should fess up and say that I had no idea who Nina Paley is (and still don't, besides what that post told me: an animator?).mèþru wrote:Well, Nina Paley herself doesn't deny the existence of transgender people[....].
Im kind of surprised she's joining the TERFs, but it doesnt really change my opinion of her as a whole.
Sunàqʷa the Sea Lamprey says:
Re: Venting thread
I knew that and retroactively I am ashamed that that wasn't enough to prevent me from liking her. (I still agree with her that there is a big fertility industry with a lot of bad parts to it, but not that the idea of helping people take care of children or be able to give birth in the first place is bad)
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: Venting thread
Re: people asking, where?
North America, West Coast, in the U.S.A., in an urban area. Extremely queer and sex-positive, as far as P.R. goes.
I assume anyone who's actually interested has far since grubbed up my ISP and specific location; because, after all, this is all Techie-Land now. So why should I bother being more specific?
North America, West Coast, in the U.S.A., in an urban area. Extremely queer and sex-positive, as far as P.R. goes.
I assume anyone who's actually interested has far since grubbed up my ISP and specific location; because, after all, this is all Techie-Land now. So why should I bother being more specific?
CONLANG Code: C:S/G v1.1 !lafh+>x cN:L:S:G a+ x:0 n4d:2d !B A--- E-- L--- N0 Id/s/v/c k- ia--@:+ p+ s+@ m-- o+ P--- S++ Neo-Khitanese
Re: Venting thread
You delightful thing. You fill me with lubricious thoughts. Only you! Yes, only you, among all the betas of zompistery, can fulfill me. That is the pleasure you intense gives me. Yea, yeah, otulengba!xxx wrote:That's why I recommend not to reveal his preference for conlangs...
Especially since the pleasure it gives is even more intense...
CONLANG Code: C:S/G v1.1 !lafh+>x cN:L:S:G a+ x:0 n4d:2d !B A--- E-- L--- N0 Id/s/v/c k- ia--@:+ p+ s+@ m-- o+ P--- S++ Neo-Khitanese
Re: Venting thread
Kuroda, did the cops do anything else since you first posted about this or did they just leave it at that?