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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:06 pm 
Sanno
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Curlyjimsam wrote:
It was really shocking from a British perspective, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't deliberate hatefulness, merely a failure to grasp the full sectarian significance of the suggestion.

I'm not so sure. Anti-Catholicism in the USA used to be vicious and it's not dead yet. My last year of Catholic grade school, we had a former student now at the local high school give a talk on what we could expect there. Poor fellow sounded shell-shocked. (At the time we were living in a small rural town. My parents insisted on sending me to a Catholic prep school an hour away, so I was able to put off the reckoning another four years.) It was the first time I learned that there are Evangelical Protestants who don't consider Catholics to be Christians, but it wasn't the last.

I'll tell you: as American Catholics in school during the time of the hunger strikes and U2's early popularity, we sure learned what wearing orange was associated with.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:47 pm 
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Boss made an extremely inappropriate remark to a coworker of mine in front of everyone in the room (almost the entire lab group). Lots of awkwardness ensued, especially since he's the boss and calling him out is probably a horrible idea...

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:42 pm 
Sumerul
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Mybe if you all agree to call him out together? That way it won't be blamed on a single person.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2018 2:22 pm 
Sanno
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I swear, every day this week has felt like it should have been Friday but wasn't.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:37 am 
Sumerul
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linguoboy wrote:
I swear, every day this week has felt like it should have been Friday but wasn't.

Good news: Today really is Friday. ;-)


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:17 am 
Sanno
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hwhatting wrote:
linguoboy wrote:
I swear, every day this week has felt like it should have been Friday but wasn't.

Good news: Today really is Friday. ;-)

I remain to be convinced. 8)


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 2:03 pm 
Sumerul
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I had a migraine last weekend. I used to only get an aura (scintillating scotoma) ... sometimes big enough to make me mostly blind for half-an-hour or so and then basically no headache. A doctor told me it was a migraine aura when I was younger, and reading about it, it's quite common for young men to get migraines with a noticeable aura but no noticeable headache. As I've gotten older and started to move out of the "young man" category, the headaches have started coming with them. Boo! I mean, it's kind of reassuring that they are actually migraines and not just random spells of blindness. It's always just been a kind of extremely sensitive head for a couple of days ... and when I'm not bending over quickly, shaking my head or coughing, I usually forget (which leads to me doing it again) ... but last weekend was the first time I've had one where I could feel the headache as a constant presence. It wasn't agonising or anything, but then the aura started coming back (which is another development in the last couple of years) and I was like "Well, I can't even lie here and watch a movie or something so, I guess I'll just sleep."

I felt groggy for days. My head was tender for about three days after the headache stopped and once I was back to normal, my sleep cycle was really thrown off ... like, I keep waking up after three hours now but not having the energy to do anything. I didn't manage to make it to work at all this week until Friday afternoon ... I have too much freedom and it's bad for me. I had to make myself go. I'm glad I went because the longer I don't go, the harder it gets to go.

So, I got to work and I was researching, reading stuff and trying to find something to write about but my brain was just full of negativity and I just couldn't stomach the idea of writing anything and I started and stopped and deleted and started something else several times. I started to get anxiety, plus tiredness and ... like, if I was a little kid, I would have been playing up to the point that a parent would say angrily "You need a nap, young man!" but I'm an adult, almost middle-aged man. My anxiety got to the point where I had to go to the toilet and when I finished I felt like I had to go back again. By this stage I was the only one in the office. At some point, I just decided to go home while it was still light. I didn't finish my article (in theory I'll finish it at home over the weekend ... but I have literally never done that when that's been my plan), I decided to take the tram home ... it's quite a long, slow trip that does a big loop from near my work, swings out wide and then leaves me on the other side of the river with a reasonable walk home. Sometimes it's more restful than the much quicker U-Bahn-bus-combo, but it was full of people and little kids running up and down and one making weird noise right behind me ... and where the tram drops me off is quite a chaotic, loud nightlife area and, being Friday night, that was kind of hectic too and I just got so peopled out. I knew I didn't have any food at home, so I went to the supermarket and I literally hated the idea of eating anything my brain suggested and in the end I just bought a litre of ice cream ... and that's my dinner ... even though I'm trying to cut down on sugar because I'm getting a bit fat and it's also apparently not great for mental health. Better than just not eating I guess.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 4:08 am 
Visanom
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Sorry to hear that Imralu. I got those scintillating scotoma recently, when at work. First I thought that I looked too long in a bright light, but later it got bigger with those weird up-and-down moving pointy things. Twice that day, but never before or since. Weird. Luckily it didn't blind me.

(Somehow I didn't receive any notifications from this thread anymore, and kinda forgot about it.)

JAL


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:50 pm 
Sumerul
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Today, I went to work, where two of my colleagues (one of them did this yesterday, not today) behaved passive-aggressively towards me because I asked them five minutes in advance whether they would take something instead of waiting for them to take it two or three minutes in advance. Then I came back home and saw someone accuse me of giving her suicidal thoughts.


Last edited by Vijay on Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:07 pm 
Sumerul
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Vijay wrote:
someone accuse me of giving her suicidal thoughts
Been there before. It is an awful place to be. I suggest talking it over with her to make sure she's fine and to put at ease any guilt you might develop.

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kårroť


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:50 pm 
Sumerul
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mèþru wrote:
I suggest talking it over with her to make sure she's fine

She said she once felt suicidal because of me and then reasoned with herself that it wasn't worth it.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:53 pm 
Sumerul
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That's what happened with me too.

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ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 8:33 pm 
Sumerul
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I told her she needs to see a psychiatrist because I really don't know what else I can tell her and I can't believe I caused her to feel suicidal all by myself. She's been treating me pretty badly over the past few months, so I have trouble feeling sympathetic.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 8:51 pm 
Sumerul
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With me it seemed to be something she had resolved a while before she told me about it. It's complicated because she constantly switched between friendly and hostile behavior over a many year period. We barely see each other now beyond the school bus since we take the same one but we have mutual friends and I ask them how she's doing occasionally.

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ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:39 am 
Sanno
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Vijay wrote:
I told her she needs to see a psychiatrist because I really don't know what else I can tell her and I can't believe I caused her to feel suicidal all by myself. She's been treating me pretty badly over the past few months, so I have trouble feeling sympathetic.

Whatever enmity I feel toward a person pretty much melts away when I discover they've been suicidal. My immediate reaction is to ask "What could I possibly do to help?" (In this case, since we're not at all close, the only thing I could think of was to send her a PM assuring her that I'd miss her if she were gone.)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:54 am 
Sumerul
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I have been guilt-tripped so many times I just don't have patience for it anymore.

EDIT: I'm also especially afraid of saying anything more than I already have to her because I never have any idea how she'll interpret my words. Suppose I were to try and reach out to her; how do I know it would not only make her feel worse?

EDIT2: Perhaps I should also point out that this is not the first time someone has emotionally told me they were thinking of committing suicide. Several times when my mom got into an argument with my dad, she would tell me things like "I hope I have an accident [while driving on the road] so I'll die" even though she never had any intention of doing anything like that. She just said things like that to make me feel bad and side with her against my dad. So forgive me if I'm not entirely sure she isn't just using a cheap emotional trick to try and stifle discussion.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:54 pm 
Sanno
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Vijay wrote:
So forgive me if I'm not entirely sure she isn't just using a cheap emotional trick to try and stifle discussion.

I'm not entirely sure either. But you know what? There are some things I'm willing to take the chance of being wrong about and some things I'm not.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:22 pm 
Sumerul
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linguoboy wrote:
Vijay wrote:
So forgive me if I'm not entirely sure she isn't just using a cheap emotional trick to try and stifle discussion.

I'm not entirely sure either. But you know what? There are some things I'm willing to take the chance of being wrong about and some things I'm not.

That is true for me, too. That is why I responded in the only way I know how under the circumstances.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:46 pm 
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L2 Learners of English: Please read this entire atrociously-written paragraph and point out all my errors.
Also L2 Learners of English: I know you just told me that no native speakers say this, but I'm going to argue that not only is it not wrong to say this but also this is superior to what you said native speakers actually do say.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 3:05 pm 
Sumerul
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linguoboy wrote:
L2 Learners of English: Please read this entire atrociously-written paragraph and point out all my errors.
Also L2 Learners of English: I know you just told me that no native speakers say this, but I'm going to argue that not only is it not wrong to say this but also this is superior to what you said native speakers actually do say.

Someone's goat got got?


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 3:37 pm 
Sanno
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hwhatting wrote:
linguoboy wrote:
L2 Learners of English: Please read this entire atrociously-written paragraph and point out all my errors.
Also L2 Learners of English: I know you just told me that no native speakers say this, but I'm going to argue that not only is it not wrong to say this but also this is superior to what you said native speakers actually do say.

Someone's goat got got?

"Got gotten", got it?

It's an ongoing pet peeve. I know I did this occasionally when I was younger, but at some point I realised how moronic it was. It's one thing if you can find citations from another native speaker which seem to contradict what the one is trying to tell you; you might be dealing with a real regional or sociolectal divergence. But if it's just "I think this should work because I don't understand why it wouldn't", then you need to take a deep swig from the clue bottle before I crack it over your head.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 3:15 am 
Visanom
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linguoboy wrote:
before I crack it over your head.

It should be "on" your head. "Over my head" there's just thin air.


JAL


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