Torco wrote:
a) an ex of mine came over, and I discovered she was into me, so I made love with her. She was tiny and firm, but above all, it didn't hurt her. I could put it in without any lube and it didn't hurt her. it was awesome.
¡Ah, Torco, qué hombre sexual tú eres!
I bet you were the same when you were my age, gramps
I dreamt the presenters of Top Gear were on a nucleur submarine, doing things vaguely as though they were doing a show about it. I saw them go through the things you would expect on a submarine, and then they went down a ladder in a tube to the sub cafeteria, which was pretty nice, with waiters and round dining tables with flowers and fine silverware and china. They ate some food, and then stood up and started singing a spooky song in countertenor. The other people in the cafeteria were looking at them as though this was weird. I thought to myself that they must sing so well because they went to schools like Eton and would have been caned if they didn't sing well at chapel. Then the Admiral and an entourage (including the Queen in a very minor position) came in, even though the sub was under the sea, and it turned out they were singing to greet him. Then some stuff took place which is vague, and I ended up with a pencil and a pin with pictures painted by the Queen on them. The painting on the pin was called Stone Cold Onion Soup. It was of some faces.
Wish I could remember what happened right before the part where I tossed away my thongs, scooped up a handful of turtle eggs, and started using them to bean predators so the other hatchlings could make their escape.
Last night I had a dream where a baby lion was riding some other animal to escape from a herd of stampeding... somethings. Whatever animal the lion was riding was slowing down, so it pulled up alongside a baby rhinoceros and hopped into it instead. All this time, it seemed like a scene from a movie, judging by how I was seeing everything. There was also a train along side the chase, traveling at the same speed, where the mother lion and rhinoceros were in one of the cars. After keeping ahead of the stampede for awhile, the baby rhino tripped over a small ridge, and both it and the baby lion fell into a small gully behind it. Then the entire stampede also tripped over the ridge, and there ended up being a massive animal pileup a little ways after the ridge. The rhino has relatively okay, just a little roughed up, while the lion was more seriously injured, but it survived because it had a horcrux... somehow. The two of them then went over to the train, which had now stopped, and climbed up to be with their mothers.
Then I was standing next to the train, and either I had gotten bigger or the train and the aforementioned animals on it had gotten smaller, as I was at least as tall as one of the boxcars. I then grabbed the side of one of the cars and started pushing the entire train backwards, and it took surprisingly little effort to do so. Once I had pushed it up to running speed and I couldn't go any faster, I hopped into an empty car, and froze time so I could find a suitable place to stay. I teleported around the train, and while I was doing so, I discovered there was an odd looking curve coming up. I finally found a car that had some sort of roller coaster seat in it, incidentally in the car just behind where the lions and rhinos were. The seat was a bit odd, as it had both a lap bar like in non-looping coasters, as well as a harness like what looping coasters have... plus the harness was attached to the lap bar and to close it you had to first move the lap bar into position, then pull the harness up and fasten it over your shoulders. Once I had gotten that hooked up, I unfroze time and it turned out the seat was facing towards the front of the train, but the train was now going in reverse because I had pushed it, so I couldn't see what was coming.
There was a green mesh fence on the left side of the train (the stampede had occurred to the right) and some guy with a chainsaw showed up, and began cutting the fence from the other side, apparently running along with the train. I didn't seem to mind, apparently this was just part of the ride. Then the train shook because someone had fired a catapult from one of the other cars, and a couple seconds later I saw the projectile flying off into the distance towards the "front" of the train, but I couldn't see what was being launched. Then, despite attempting not to, I woke up. Interestingly, I was still in a sitting position, only on my side after I woke up, and could still feel the harness, at least until I started to move.
There was actually more to that dream, a whole nother section before the stampede that involved an apparently haunted house, Star Wars, and some sort of battle against monsters, but I can't remember the details.
Zain pazitovcor, sio? Sio, tovcor.
You can't read that, right? Yes, it says that.
Shinali Sishi wrote:"Have I spoken unclearly? I meant electric catfish not electric onions."
I had a really, really weird and vivid dream a few nights ago; I blame, at least partially, the fact that my Latin class has talked a bit about the Temple and the Tetragrammaton and such recently, since we've been reading the Vulgate. Also, note that I'm Jewish.
So at first I was hanging around my school after classes, waiting to get bored enough to leave (I guess); eventually, I ended up traveling through these weird underground unfurnished stone hallways with a crowd of people. We came out onto a sandy area and I somehow ended up in a sort of large telephone booth thing that was maybe 10 feet square, at most. The walls were mostly plexiglass, but it was a lot like a schoolbus in its coloring and the double doors typical of a bus; there were four sets. There was a Hebrew school class with me inside, mostly consisting of preschoolers, along with their instructors, one of whom was a man in a blue shirt and khakis, and the other a strict-looking Asian woman wearing a red shirt. The man was standing by a table covered in fruits, with a pale, pumice-like rock near the front. Outside, there was a huge crowd of people, pressing close to the glass, trying to get in; sometimes the doors would open a little, but they would always close before anyone got in (unless that's how I'd managed to get in; I don't remember). The adults began to explain to the children that they were here for the rebuilding of the Temple; those inside the booth were the only one's who would be allowed to access it, though. I remembered that the booth had been absent for a long time, and just before it had vanished, there had been a mad rush to get to it for this very reason, and I had failed to make it in; I therefore shouldn't have been inside, and became very frightened that I would be discovered. The man then proceeded to say something about poinsettias, and stuck the stem of one through the porous rock; I remember seeing the bottom of the green stem poking out one of the holes. The woman then proceeded to light the flower like a candle; however, in the cramped space, when she stuck her arm out with the match, it pressed painfully against my midriff, and I had trouble breathing (I was standing against a wall); she took no apparent note, and I got the idea that this was deliberate, and that the game was up. Next they proceeded to begin what I think may have been Shabbat, because their were now two candles on the table; the woman reached out her arm again, and, seemingly completely aware that she was doing it, pressed across my midriff again, but harder this time; it was like a vise, and now I was sure that I was discovered, and the fear and pain were so great that I woke up, scared to go back to sleep. In short, it was really damn weird.
Last edited by Jetboy on Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
–Herm Albright
Even better than a proto-conlang, it's the *kondn̥ǵʰwéh₂s
I'm struck by how many people's dreams frequently involve elements of action or fantasy films, with shootouts and chase sequences and the like. My dreams are never like this. They are usually more like this (from a few nights ago):
I descended a long, narrow flight of stairs to reach a combination hospital/grocery store. I was one of the hospital staff, and I was flanked by a couple male nurses. We were interviewing a woman, perhaps somebody who was joining the nursing staff herself. I was somehow compelled to insert the word "sweat" in each sentence, usually nonsensically, somewhat in the way that the Smurfs randomly replace various words with "Smurf." Then I got bored of this and tried to cheat the system (for I was absolutely required to do this) by forming sentences that would spell out "SWEAT" with the first letter of each word, e.g. "So, why even attempt triage?"
Torco wrote:... but above all, it didn't hurt her. I could put it in without any lube and it didn't hurt her. ....
IRL does it, usually? Or just with that particular ex? Or not usually with anyone?
I find it varies a lot, and is not a function of vaginal diameter. Some women just get hurt more than others and, of course, it's pretty frustrating when your partner, while willing, isn't able to handle a certain amount of sex. She was actually REALLY tight and hurt quite easily, as are a few of the women I've been with...
i had a few last night. each one was in a familiar place, except for the fact that nothing was like it was in real life, which is pretty common in my dreams.
in one, i drove my car over to my friend's house with a flat tire. waited for a cop to pass me by before i jumped a concrete barrier to make an illegal left turn. found that i had two flat tires by the time i got there
the next one had me admiring the newly remodeled breakroom at work, all fancy and air-conditioned.
the last one was the strangest. my room had a tile floor, as opposed to the actual carpet. i found that each time i went to my room, some of the tiles were missing, revealing a bottomless pit underneath my room. i ignored the problem and just hopped into my room over the bottomless pit, until there were too many tiles missing to do this anymore. the last time i went to my room i was with my dad. i looked into my room, at the bottomless pit, and the few remaining tiles in the corner of the room. my dad said something and i looked at him, then back to my room. all the tiles were back in place. i felt bewildered, wondering if i had been hallucinating the whole time and if i my dad had noticed.
scientists have discovered a capsule that makes you not a gullible fucktard!
The store I worked at had mysteriously expanded to include furniture and paint, and I was staying past the ending time of my shift to show a woman how bright a certain type of blue paint would be on her deck, as opposed to various other shades of blue more typically found in homes. Then I punched out even though I knew the manager would want me to stay some more, and went to to get lunch at the mall Food Court. I passed a bunch of Asian restaurants, including a sushi restuarant where a big guy eagerly watched me from behind the counter. When I got close he went into a "salesman" mode and started explaining how their sushi rolls were much bigger than most others', and they were priced by weight such that they'd be cheaper than an average fish fillet at a supermarket ($10 for 2 kg, he said). But I looked at them and thought to myself that they were probably mostly water (even though sushi is one of the driest foods around, the ones in the display case seemed "wet" somehow). So I walked on for a little more before I woke up.
I had a dream last night that involved a tangle of IPA symbols, most of which were for back vowels, I believe, and maybe some open vowels; I remember ɤ figured quite vividly, and ɔ slightly less so; I suspect that this may have something to do with my lack of familiarity with the left side of the vowel chart. The reason for all of the IPA was that I was trying to improve my Spanish pronunciation (or something like that; it definitely involved Spanish phonology). Before the vowel-madness, I was trying to make sure that my voiced obstruents were being realized correctly, and remember some sort of worry about embarrassing myself in front of my Spanish-speaking friends if I messed up.
Moral of the story: Too much phonology and sound-change in one day and you'll get nightmares.
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
–Herm Albright
Even better than a proto-conlang, it's the *kondn̥ǵʰwéh₂s
I had a dream in which I was being stalked or followed by someone, and I was trying to tell some people that it must be "a murderer" which had been killing people.
I was speaking Catalan, of which I can't remember anything that was said... but I do remember saying one word "matador", which I don't think is proper Catalan for "killer" or "murderer".
After this, I walked to a locker, where I found photos stuffed into it, pictures of the person who was killed, whom I knew (in the dream)
It was weird though, because the guy was a pipe smoker, and I don't actually recognize the face... so that was confusing. (I'm a pipe smoker, so I have a lot of pipe smoking friends, and the photos were not of one of them)
I was mortified and handed the photos to a police officer, and that was the end of the dream.
[bɹ̠ˤʷɪs.təɫ] Nōn quālibet inīquā cupiditāte illectus hoc agō Yo te pongo en tu lugar... Taisc mach Daró
1. My friend and I were trying to set an alarm system in my house, but it had apparently stopped working. So I proposed we take a short, aimless train ride to clear our heads. We got in the subway, and the setting switched from New York late at night to Madrid during the day. We got on the train, intending to take it one stop and then walk back home, or something. But the train was running express, and carried us out into the outer suburbs. Finally we were able to get off at "Joan of Arc" Station - a long, curved outdoor platform with a slightly futuristic look. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny afternoon in Madrid. We crossed the platform to get on the train running in the other direction, which was arriving at the station just then. It was a single car, and there was a large crowd waiting on the platform, composed entirely of women and children. There were a few nuns. We got on too, and I was afraid we had gotten on a women-only car, but nobody seemed to care.
2. I was on a fast-moving go-cart fleeing from security officers on a beautiful college campus with lots of thick vegetation. I reached the highway and as I sped down it, the go-cart turned into into a car. I was traveling with two Eastern European women, perhaps mother and daughter. Soon we reached a large security checkpoint, maybe a national border. You had to stop your car so it could be searched, while you waited in a large rest area for them to re-launch your car on a track at a specific time, as though it were a train. I ambled around with the two women, looking in the various eateries and duty-free shops. One room also had some kind of mechanized bed that allowed you to take a quick nap in an enhanced mode of sleep, or something. The younger woman tried it out, but she became smaller and regressed into a childlike state, and a TV screen above the bed began to display her memories of early childhood. Her entire life was being re-enacted in a few minutes. I sensed that she wasn't using the machine correctly. I decided to go shop for some tea.
Torco wrote:I find it varies a lot, and is not a function of vaginal diameter. Some women just get hurt more than others and, of course, it's pretty frustrating when your partner, while willing, isn't able to handle a certain amount of sex. She was actually REALLY tight and hurt quite easily, as are a few of the women I've been with...
Start out with her on top!
Make sure she knows not to just sit down on your tool, since no matter how light she is or how strong your dick is you probably can't support her full weight with just your dick. Make sure she knows that at insertion she should lie on top of you forward of your organs, then slide back on it, rather than just sitting right down on it.
Once it's in, she can sit up when she wants to. Once she's ready for it, you (dual) can roll over and she can let you take over the initiative.
I've never been with a woman who couldn't handle sex. I have been with one who couldn't handle certain positions, such as "the plough"; she thought I went "too deep" when we were in that position. But she was very enthusiastic about every other position we tried.
(Fuck! Why does it all have to be past tense?)
hmmm.. sit forward-slide back? hmmm... sounds like a good tactic, since the perineum has far less labial tissue than the perineum, and so labial stretching [one of the big culprits of genital pain in chicks, AFAICT] is minimized. NAIS, man, thanks for the tip. I'm gonna try it one of these days.
See this is exactly what our society lacks!! elders passing down wisdom on to the younger generations.
I've never been with a woman who couldn't handle sex
I envy you, man. maybe your sample size is smallish, though? statistics I've read tend to indicate vaginism, coital pain, anorgasmia and all that jazz as pretty prevalent stuff amongst females. Finally bear in mind I'm 24, male, and a horny SOB, so
I dreamt I lived in a dorm or apartment and somebody vandalized my door, but instead of writing obscene words, they pasted a bunch of license plates on the door that said "OBSCENE" and "WORD."
I had a dream that I was in a room with some other people and there was a black rat, which somebody killed by hitting with a big stick. It wasn't anyshere near as nice as an ordinary rat. It more closely resembled a rubber rat, the kind you get in joke shops.
XinuX wrote:I learned this language, but then I sneezed and now am in prison for high treason. 0/10 would not speak again.
I was an illegal student in a large science academy, and the academy's president wanted to find and expel me. I ran all over the building, looking for places to hide, but then there was a fire in half of it, which nobody seemed to notice, so I ran down into the cellar and sat in the darkest corner. The president opened the cellar door, and started coming down the stairs, and then she turned into a giant ant. She turned on one of her minions (a smaller ant), and ate it in a gruesome insecty way, and while she was busy doing that, I escaped out of the cellar and locked and bolted the door behind me. The fire was still blazing, so I looked for a way out into the carpark. After a few minutes of fruitless searching, the fire disappeared, and I found myself in the academy dining room, where a group of my dreamfriends had decided to create an orchestra club. Then I woke up.
There was a lot more to the dream, but it was much too complicated.
I had a dream that I was about to get into a Cobra Starship concert, but it was $99.99 and it was sold out anyway. Plus, I was late and the concert had already started. Awesome.
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
Economic Left/Right: -4.62
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.87
I was happy with myself for coming up with this one:
I was walking down the street towards my house, when a very large raptor (predatory bird, not the dinosaur) landed in front of me. It was ~5ft tall at the hip, with plumage exactly like an adult Bald Eagle, though from the proportions of the body I could tell it wasn't (neck length was too long, the skull far too long, actually far more resembling the Phorusrhacids than anything else. It started strutting around, squawking, and eventually came at me. it bit through my forearm like nothing, and was coming back in when a car came up and rammed it (apparently I rolled away). The driver got out and ran over to help me, people came out of their houses, but I was most worried about getting the bird bound somehow so it could be studied, rather than being focused on MY ARM HAVING BEEN BITTEN OFF. The ambulance arrived and I was screaming at the cop to call someone at a nearby raptor study center (which actually exists) to get the bird into some kind of observation area so it could be studied (giant birds have been reported in North America for at least a hundred years, and even farther back if you count the NatAm tales of the Thunderbird).
It'd be worth it to lose half an arm to get an actual cryptid into scientific study.
