the Old Granny thread

[Astraios]

... Okay.

[Qwynegold]

When she got back to the States, of course, the recipe had to be modified (no lingonberries;

Why don't you replace them with cranberries?

That's what Craisins are. Cranberry raisins!

Oh, well I had no idea wtf that was. Incidentally, I saw some non-dried cranberries at the supermarket today. OMG those things are huge!

[Daistallia]

Really homemade roast beef sandwiches:
Note: This recipe takes quite some time and effort, but is well worth it!

Sour Dough Starter (if you don't have any):
2 c. all purpose flour (white or whole)
2 c. warm water
1 pkg dry yeast culture (Yes, I know it's "cheating". But if you know that, you don't need a starter recipe...)

Combine all ingredients in a warm non-metalic bowl (wood, glass, or ceramic ) using a wooden or plastic spoon to stir until smooth. Cover the container and place in a warm, dark draft free area 48 hours. The mixture should be a bit bubbly, giving off a sour, yeasty odor, and the consistency of pancake batter. Cover and put it in the refrigerator for 24 hours.

Sourdough sponge:
1 c. starter
1 c. flour
1 c. warm water
3 c. flour
1 1/3 c. warm water

Pour a cup of starter into a large non-metalic bowl. Feed the starter (AKA the bitch) by adding 1 c. flour and 1 c. water to the remainder and then refrigerate.

Add the remaining warm water and about half the remaining flour to the starter in the mixing bowl. Stir or beat vigorously with a wooded spoon. Cover this sponge put it aside for at least two hours and up to twenty four.

Sourdough Dough:
2 c. flour
1 tbs. salt
1 tbs. sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1-2 c. flour
1-3 tbs vegetable oil
about 1/2 c. Cornmeal

Blend salt, sugar and baking soda into 2 c of flour. Mix this into the sponge until it begins to hold together. Dust a clean counter or tabletop with some of the flour. Turn the dough out onto floured surface and knead for 3 or 4 minutes. Add more flour if needed - it should end up a fairly stiff dough. Stop and wash the the bowl. Oil the bowl. Put the dough in the oiled bowl and continue to knead another 3 or 4 minutes, turning it to get it greased. Cover again and let rise another 2 to 4 hours.

Punch the dough down and shape it into 2 cyclindrical loaves. Sprinkle cornmeal on a cookie sheet (enough to cover the bottoms of the loaves in a thin layer) and place the loaves on it. Cover and let them rise for another 2 hours or so. Toward the end of the rising period, place a metal pan of water in the bottom of the oven and preheat it to 450 F (230 C). Shallowly gash the tops of the loaves diagonally with a knife every two inches/5 cm. Brush the tops with cold water. Bake the bread over the steaming water for about 25 minutes.

Quick Pickled Cucumber:
1 large cucumber
1 tbs salt
1 cup cider, white, rice, or wine vinegar
1 can beer
1 tbs sugar or honey
spices to taste: garlic, dill, chili flakes, peppercords, sliced onion, ginger, miso, etc.
large clean jar with a lid

Wash and thinly slice the cucumber. place on a plate and salt. Mix vinegar, beer, sweetener and spices in a stainless steel pot (non-reactive) and bring to a boil, simmer until sweetener is dissolved, and turn off heat. Wash salt off cucumber slices and put them in the jar. Pour brine over jar. Add more beer if the slices aren't covered. Close the led and refridgerate at least twenty four hours. These will keep about 10 days.

Roast Beef:
2-3 lb/1-1.5kg fillet roast
1 bottle red wine
olive oil
garlic
1 onion
salt and pepper
small bunch of fresh thyme, rosemary, bay or sage
several slices/rashers of bacon (for thoes outside the US, streaky bacon)

Marinate roast the roast in red wine and olive oil 8 hours or overnight. Take the roast out of the fridge about thirty minutes before cooking. Preheat the oven to 475 F/240 C. Slice the onion, chop the garlic, and place both in the bottom of a heavy roasting pan. Place herbs on top. Place roast on top of that. If the roast is barded, place fatty side up. Place slices of bacon on top of the roast. Retain wine marinade. Put the roast in the oven and immediately turn the oven down to 400 F/200 C. Cooking time depends on how you like the roast and it's size. Baste the roast about halfway through.

Rough cooking time size per 1 lb/.5 kg:
Rare: 20-25 minutes
Medium: 25 -30 minutes
Well done: 30-35 minutes

Remove the roast from the oven and place a sheet of tinfoil over it. Let it rest twenty to thirty minutes. Slice the roast.

Roast Beef Sandwiches:
sliced roast beef
slices of sour dough bread
roasted onion slices from the roast beef
pickle slices
mustard
sliced gruyere cheese*

If you've gotten this far, I assume you can assemble the sandwich yourself...


* You can make that yourself too, but it's a whole lot more involved...

[Bob Johnson]

* You can make that yourself too, but it's a whole lot more involved...

Let's see. Starting from a cow, a steer, farm plots of wheat, corn, barley, grapes, olives, onions, garlic, black pepper, mustard, and sugar cane, a cucumber plant, sea water, a natron mine, and however the hell cavemen got yeast started, it doesn't seem that much trouble.

At least not as much as making an apple pie from scratch.

[Ulan]

Okay so here's how you do breakfast the Shrdlu way

You need:
One egg
A piece of bread.

Make an hole in the bread and place it the pan, imidently crack an egg over the hole. Fry everything and don't forget to flip the bread so the egg gets done on both sides. Salt and pepper to your heart's content and eat it with some fresh vegetables.

Toad in the holes are the best, yus. One thing though, don't crack the yolk haha. If you are good enpugh with a spatula it won't break while cooking and you'll have some nice eggs over easy after. Also, you make bacon in the pan before doing that

And using saved bacon grease ....

Melt 3 spoonfools of grease in a pot, and add in 3 cups of water. Once that gets to a boil at in 3 fat tablespoons of the freshest chili powder you can get along with any other spices you want. Then add 3 cups of flour and let it thicken up the sauce and cooks in

And tada, you have a batch of delicious enchilada sauce. And it is easy to scale up or down

[Jipí]

and however the hell cavemen got yeast started

Yeast spores in the air, IIRC. At least as far as wine and beer are concerned.

[Daistallia]

sliced gruyere cheese*

* You can make that yourself too, but it's a whole lot more involved...

* You can make that yourself too, but it's a whole lot more involved...

Let's see. Starting from a cow, a steer, farm plots of wheat, corn, barley, grapes, olives, onions, garlic, black pepper, mustard, and sugar cane, a cucumber plant, sea water, a natron mine, and however the hell cavemen got yeast started, it doesn't seem that much trouble.

At least not as much as making an apple pie from scratch.

Note that was homemade cheese, not completely from scratch. Cheese making is doable at home, but, as noted, is a lot more involved. Gryuere takes over a year and it especially takes more effort if you go old school and make it with traditional rennet instead of cultured.

You'll need a bull as well as that cow - the cow won't produce the unweaned calf needed (rennet from weaned calves stomachs doesn't have enough chymosin but too much pepsin) with just a steer. Also the lactobacillus.

And, yes, the yeast in sourdough is wild, hence there reference to "cheating" by using dry yeast. Catching a wild yeast strain is relatively easy, it just takes a bit longer and isn't quite as certain as a commercially cultured dry yeast. (The yeast is much easier to catch than the proper lactobacillus.)

[Dewrad]

Okay so here's how you do breakfast the Shrdlu way

You need:
One egg
A piece of bread.

Make an hole in the bread and place it the pan, imidently crack an egg over the hole. Fry everything and don't forget to flip the bread so the egg gets done on both sides. Salt and pepper to your heart's content and eat it with some fresh vegetables.

Toad in the holes are the best, yus.

What? Toad in the hole is sausage in a batter pudding. The above is egg in a basket.

[Ulan]

What? Toad in the hole is sausage in a batter pudding. The above is egg in a basket.

O.o Egg in the basket is when you do poached eggs on toast without cooking them together here
What do you call frog eye?
Err tapioca

[Dewrad]

Ulan, you are clearly insane. A month and a half of intense consideration has led me to this conclusion.

Nevertheless, on the specials board this weekend I have the following:

Braised saucisson sec with lentils and caramelised apple

You will need:

about two inches of saucisson sec, or similar dried sausage
a handful of lentils, maybe 150g? Use lentilles vertes or Puy lentils, not the nasty red things hippies eat.
a clove of garlic
half an onion
a couple of cèpes. fresh, for preference, although dried and reconstituted also works.
a good glug of a decent red wine
thyme
veal stock. or beef stock.
half an apple
maybe 100g of sugar? possibly less

What you need to do:

Dice your onion and slice your sausage, the atter on the bias to a thickness of about three millimetres. A pound coin. Any thicker and the sausage is a bit chewy, thinner than this and it burns. Chuck both in a frying pan over a medium heat with some low-grade pomace and sauté. Sliver your clove of garlic and chuck it in after a couple of minutes. This is also an appropriate point to add your thinly sliced cèpes. Sauté for a further few minutes until the garlic and onion begins to colour, then add the lentils. Muck it about a bit. Use some of that wristy motion and toss the whole lot like you're some kind of pro.

Glug in the wine (actually, no, if you've got it lying around, use vermouth. Not the sweet kind, obviously. That'd be wrong. Or use beer. It gives a really interesting dimension to the finished dish. Just don't use a nasty beer like Budweiser.) and let reduce for a few minutes. Add in enough veal stock to cover the whole to a depth of about half a centimetre. Add the thyme: a good pinch or so. Enough that you can taste it. Obviously fresh thyme, the dried stuff is of the devil and sticks between your teeth unpleasantly. Perhaps a quick squirt of tomato purée would not be contraindicated at this point. Cover and allow to simmer over a low heat for about fifteen minutes, or until the lentils are tender. You might need to top up the liquid occasionally.

Meanwhile, take your apple and core it. Then cut it about a bit artistically. I slice it thinly horizontally, giving pleasing rings of apple. But you can be a bit butch and cut it into wedges. Either works. Take another pan and put the sugar in it. It should be a fairly small pan, as you're not caramelising that much. Sprinkle over the merest suggestion of water and place it over a medium heat. Allow the sugar to caramelise to a very light brown: just after it stops bubbling, basically. Because you're not a big girl, you do not fear hot sugar and throw your apple slices/segments in with insouciant abandon. Muck them about a bit in the pan (do not stir vigorously: you are not attempting to make candy floss.), ensuring that the apples are fully coated in the caramel.

By now, your sausage-mushroom-lentil mix should be ready: glistening invitingly in the pan, with only the merest of liquid sheen over the lentils. If it sticks to the bottom of the pan, you should have added more liquid earlier. This weekend I've been finishing it with a good drizzle of extra virgin olive oil and a few drops of balsamic vinegar. So do that and then serve over a couple of thick slices of toasted sourdough. Garnish with the caramelised apples, and perhaps something peppery and leafy. Rocket is my normal standby, but at this time of the year it tends to be a bit grim. You can sort yourself out at this point really. Cress isn't actually a bad shout.

[Radius Solis]

Now that we're talking about Mexican food (as of this post), I would like to note that should anyone wish a more... accessible... version of this, the following arroz con puerco adobado might fit the bill.

1. Get yourself some good pork tenderloin chops - the less-cheap kind. A pound or two depending how many you're feeding. Cut into pieces 2 to 3 inches in size.

2. Stir into the following marinade so that each piece is well coated:
- half a cup of tomato puree (you can seriously just use ketchup, it doesn't contain anything we aren't adding more of anyway)
- half a cup of white or apple cider vinegar
- 1 tsp cumin
- 1 tsp brown sugar
- 1.5 tsp salt
- 2 or 3 fat cloves of garlic, pressed. (Or chop it then squish it up really good, if necessary. The point being to maximize free allicin in the marinade.)
- either half a can of chipotles in adobo sauce, pureed, plus half a teaspoon powdered cayenne;
- or 2 tsp each powdered cayenne and liquid smoke

3. Marinate overnight, or up to three days, in the fridge. Don't worry about it spoiling, the capsaicin and allicin and salt will prevent that. But be warned that there's important chemistry that won't work very well if you skimp on the spicyness or try to marinate for less time than overnight.

4. Lightly oil a skillet and arrange the pork pieces; pour excess marinade atop them so long as they're not swimming. Fry on low-ish heat for ten minutes then flip pieces, and let it go another ten minutes or until cooked through. Ideally the outside should be beginning to blacken by the time it's done, and if you like you can flip once more for a minute at the end to get the blackening residue in the pan cooked onto the first side too.

5. Serve over rice, topped with grated monterrey jack. You can make it Spanish rice as I would, but it's not worth getting super fancy about the rice as the flavor of the meat will dominate in any case.

[Salmoneus]

Really homemade roast beef sandwiches:

Roast Beef:
2-3 lb/1-1.5kg fillet roast

Cheat. Your recipe is ergo worthless. Plus you didn't say anything about growing grapes. You'll never get your hipster membership card with such pandering to Big Wine.

[din]

Since we've moved into an apartment with an oven, I've been baking a lot. Being partially unemployed at times (freelance...) also helps.

Here's a recipe for a really good cookie. I'm posting it, because it's not difficult to make. I also made really amazing dan tat (egg custards) the other day, but it requires you to make puff pastry, which will cost you about two hours. Here's the recipe (youtube video; it's absolutely perfect): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcJswW--SlI. I made a 'yellow' filling with whole eggs though.

Anyway, here are the butter cookies. Feel free to dip them in chocolate, add a blanched almond, or sandwich them with jam / coconut butter / whatever you want in between.

225 gr butter in chunks
180 gr sugar (I used 16 gr of vanilla flavored sugar and 164 gr of regular because I was too lazy to use the next ingredient)
1/3 vanilla pod (seeds)
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg yolk
2 cups flour

- mix butter, sugar, salt and vanilla until smooth
- mix in yolk
- add flour and mix just until incorporated
- knead it a couple of times to make sure it's all smooth
- roll it into a log and refrigerate till stiff
- preheat oven 160°C / 320°F
- cut into 3mm (1/8 inch) slices
- place 1 cm apart on baking sheet
- bake for 15-20 mins (until slightly discolored)
- let them cool down on the counter top

NB: you'll probably be able to fill two baking sheets. To make sure they bake evenly, it's better to bake them in batches.

[Gulliver]

I have a couple of kilos of green tomatoes that are not going to ripen.

Any suggestions?

[Pthagnar]

ketchup?

[Dewrad]

I have a couple of kilos of green tomatoes that are not going to ripen.

Any suggestions?

1) Chutney.
2) Fry them and serve them to your lesbian lover at the Whistle Stop Café.
3) Pickle them.
4) Salsa verde.
5) Allow them to rot slightly before hurling them at people you dislike.
6) Compost.

[Pthagnar]

what is the difference, if any, between ketchup and tomato chutney?

[Dewrad]

what is the difference, if any, between ketchup and tomato chutney?

Well, aside from the differing recipes, ketchups are generally smooth, while pickles and chutneys are lumpy. (Except Branston Smooth, which is there solely to confuse.)

[Gulliver]

1) Chutney.
2) Fry them and serve them to your lesbian lover at the Whistle Stop Café.
3) Pickle them.
4) Salsa verde.
5) Allow them to rot slightly before hurling them at people you dislike.
6) Compost.

I'm going to attempt a green tomato crumble tonight adapting the "Creole-style Aubergine" recipe from Leah Lenemas's Easy Vegan Cooking. I can't foresee anything going awfully wrong with it, and it's a rare opportunity to use one of the recipe books I hoard instead of just putting them on the shelf and making spag bol.

I've been using them like I would green peppers in things, but I really have a huge amount and some are beginning to show frost damage. I was told that putting them in a brown paper bag would encourage them to ripen, so a few have been cordoned off for that experiment.

[Neon Fox]

I cannot give you my recipe for spaghetti sauce because there isn't one; it's just tomato puree and whatever appropriate spices I happen to have. These are my other two easy recipes.

Lemon mustard chicken

Chicken - I usually use boneless, skinless breast fillets because I loathe skinning chicken and you can't get skinless but with bones easily
1 cup chicken stock, broth or bullion
Lemon juice
Dijon mustard
Tarragon
Flour, salt, pepper

Brown enough chicken for four servings and remove from pan. In the warm pan, make a roux with the broth, about a quarter-cup of lemon juice, two tablespoons of mustard, and a tablespoon or so of tarragon, with enough flour to thicken it and salt and pepper to taste. Put the chicken back in and simmer covered until cooked through, turning occasionally. Add more water or flour if the sauce gets too thick or thin.

Skipper's Linguini (aka, the least-kosher single dish ever)

1 lb bacon
6 oz can of tuna
small can of baby or chopped clams
can of black olives (I used sliced so I don't have to slice them)

Fry the bacon and remove from pan. Let the pan cool a bit while you tear up the bacon. (If you don't let it cool, the clams will attempt to leap for freedom when you put them in.) In the bacon grease, fry the tuna, clams and olives. Put the bacon back in until it's hot again. Serve over pasta with parmesan cheese.

[Radius Solis]

Tomatoes that have at least begun to turn color already when picked, will indeed ripen if left in a brown paper bag. We do this every year. Check them daily and throw out any that have any sign of squishiness or mold, and otherwise leave the bag tightly closed. You're trying to hold in the natural ethylene gas that they give off, as it is a ripening agent (while still allowing moisture to evaporate away). But green tomatoes that have not yet begun to change color do not produce as much ethylene, and have a longer distance to go. You are likely to end up with mostly rotten green tomatoes. But if you're going to try it, at least include a better ethylene source in the bag, such as one or two riper tomatoes, or a ripe apple.

[Salmoneus]

I cannot give you my recipe for spaghetti sauce because there isn't one; it's just tomato puree and whatever appropriate spices I happen to have. These are my other two easy recipes.

Lemon mustard chicken

Chicken - I usually use boneless, skinless breast fillets because I loathe skinning chicken and you can't get skinless but with bones easily
1 cup chicken stock, broth or bullion
Lemon juice
Dijon mustard
Tarragon
Flour, salt, pepper

Brown enough chicken for four servings and remove from pan. In the warm pan, make a roux with the broth, about a quarter-cup of lemon juice, two tablespoons of mustard, and a tablespoon or so of tarragon, with enough flour to thicken it and salt and pepper to taste. Put the chicken back in and simmer covered until cooked through, turning occasionally. Add more water or flour if the sauce gets too thick or thin.

Skipper's Linguini (aka, the least-kosher single dish ever)

1 lb bacon
6 oz can of tuna
small can of baby or chopped clams
can of black olives (I used sliced so I don't have to slice them)

Fry the bacon and remove from pan. Let the pan cool a bit while you tear up the bacon. (If you don't let it cool, the clams will attempt to leap for freedom when you put them in.) In the bacon grease, fry the tuna, clams and olives. Put the bacon back in until it's hot again. Serve over pasta with parmesan cheese.

Neon Fox!

[Gulliver]

Tomatoes that have at least begun to turn color already when picked, will indeed ripen if left in a brown paper bag. We do this every year. Check them daily and throw out any that have any sign of squishiness or mold, and otherwise leave the bag tightly closed. You're trying to hold in the natural ethylene gas that they give off, as it is a ripening agent (while still allowing moisture to evaporate away). But green tomatoes that have not yet begun to change color do not produce as much ethylene, and have a longer distance to go. You are likely to end up with mostly rotten green tomatoes. But if you're going to try it, at least include a better ethylene source in the bag, such as one or two riper tomatoes, or a ripe apple.

Ah, cool! I've put a banana in there with them as that is, ahem, the only fruit in the house. There are some moderately orangey tomatoes that I left on the vine because I'm an optimist. I might pick a few them tomorrow. Thanks!

Anyway, my tomato crumble was a success.

[Torco]

one kilo of pork in the oven, with turnips and ciboulette just picked from the garden... some chili and some shrooms
will report on results

EDIT: pretty damned good, if I say so myself: turnips in oven pork turned out just fine.

[dunomapuka]

I've been on a budget recently and somehow it has lead me into doing a lot of vaguely southwestern stuff. Here's what I did with the leftovers for lunch today:

Cut up 1/2 an avocado into large chunks. Add a couple thin slices of onion cut in half, a pinch of salt, a small squeeze of lemon, and a bit of olive oil. Toss together with your hands or a small spoon (you want to break up the onion layers without mashing the avocado). White vinegar, or obviously lime, would be an acceptable substitute for the lemon.

Grate some cheddar on top. Serve with hot sauce and a dry-toasted corn tortilla or two - I like to grill them by putting them directly on the electric burner at low heat, turning a couple times so they don't stick.