zompist bboard

vampireshark wrote:Loving the smile, though, looks like you got your picture taken in a place you were confortable.

Thanks I was very comfortable. I was trying on my dress and make-up for an upcoming event (which I didn't end up wearing) at my place. I'm seated on my bed and the pic was taken by my boyfriend at the time.

figures, you seem happy and relaxed.

wait, wasn't I going to go to sleep?
damn you internet!

good night

Hokulani wrote:I guess I should put a more recent photo of myself.

I hope I look more or less the same.

Wow that looks so little how I remember you, especially your cheeks. I thought I remember them being more appley, but hey the last time I saw one of your SCAdian pictures was like 2008 or so, so the memory is rather fuzzy.

Shm Jay wrote:I think Torco will be able to explain what I mean better, but Astraios not in the slightest bit

Um... xD I can tell when a girl is good-looking or ugly, you know, just like any straight guy can tell when a guy is good-looking or ugly (however hard they try to pretend they can't). (And Hokulani, you are pretty.)

Yeah, she's pretty in a very exotic way.

Torco wrote:What's wrong with just saying you find her cute, Jay?

Because I’m twice her age! And only twice her age rather than three times. "Ewww, blechhh, some middle-aged man finds me cute..." rather than "Awww, sweet, an old man finds me cute...". So I have to hide behind someone her age.

chronism for the loose. I can find women twice my age hot and tell them and it just passes for "oooh, how cute".

Yes, but you're you.

dhokarena56 wrote:Yes, but you're you.

meaning I'm immune to coming off as creepy because of my irresistible charisma? I was as much of an awkward kid as anyone, growing up... I was fat, shy, overbearingly friendly and outright clunky. I just mean older women aren't creeped by younger men taking an interest, and younger guys don't [or do we?] get creeped out by older women taking an interest, so why do ounger chicks should get creeped by interest by older dudes? [which they only do if the dude doesn't have a lot of money, but...

*realizes he's rambling*
*hasn't had enough sleep*

Sooo... yeah, wanna see what I look like with no hair on my head?

Torco wrote:so why do ounger chicks should get creeped by interest by older dudes?

Because of the power relationship/increased potential for abuse, obviously, sort of like how being propositioned by a strange man in an elevator at 3 AM is creepy. I thought were were some kind of social scientist, here?

[which they only do if the dude doesn't have a lot of money, but...

Seriously?

You look much better with hair, Torco.

That knowledge won't help him much when he starts going bald. Let's hope it's not early.

Because of the power relationship/increased potential for abuse, obviously, sort of like how being propositioned by a strange man in an elevator at 3 AM is creepy. I thought were were some kind of social scientist, here?

and beause I'm a social scientist I need to disregard culture and assume emotions are always rational, on the way naturalizing "the way things are" ?
if that hypotheses is right, then it would also be creepy for a girl to be approached for a guy that's very large, or larger than her, has a lot more money, has a lot more swagger or charisma, or knows everyone in the party while she does not. Emotion is rarely the product of rational calculation, and creepiness or fear is very much an emotion.

straio: really? I think I look pretty good as a bald, bearded guy in a suit.
looking back at it, I think I, and the chick I was banging at the time, were the only ones with that opinion when I was bald.
oh, well.

Torco wrote:and beause I'm a social scientist I need to disregard culture and assume emotions are always rational

No, because this is culture. It's not "emotion". When someone has the power to (and/or is likely to) physically hurt you, or use social position to force you to do something, this is not some kind of "emotional" fact that will go away if you just think happy thoughts, or some bullshit.

if that hypotheses is right, then it would also be creepy for a girl to be approached for a guy that's very large, or larger than her, has a lot more money, has a lot more swagger or charisma, or knows everyone in the party while she does not.

And it often is. Imagine that.

faiuwle wrote:When someone has the power to (and/or is likely to) physically hurt you, or use social position to force you to do something, this is not some kind of "emotional" fact that will go away if you just think happy thoughts, or some bullshit.

When you see a police officer with a firearm, do you often become afraid that he'll shoot you?

Bob Johnson wrote:

faiuwle wrote:When someone has the power to (and/or is likely to) physically hurt you, or use social position to force you to do something, this is not some kind of "emotional" fact that will go away if you just think happy thoughts, or some bullshit.

When you see a police officer with a firearm, do you often become afraid that he'll shoot you?

Yes, of course. Don't you?

Bob Johnson wrote:

faiuwle wrote:When someone has the power to (and/or is likely to) physically hurt you, or use social position to force you to do something, this is not some kind of "emotional" fact that will go away if you just think happy thoughts, or some bullshit.

When you see a police officer with a firearm, do you often become afraid that he'll shoot you?

nah, because you don't culturally expect them to shoot you. unless you're at a demonstration, in which case you *are* afraid of cops, cause they mace you and imprison you. similarly, girls culturally expect older men interested in them to be psychos, or some of them do. and faiuwle does appear to have a point, in that said cultural expectation might be accurate.

but the direction of causation is unclear: it's perfectly possible that the only men who express interest in younger girls are deviants because being interested in younger girls is deviant, so to speak. which is a more complex formulation of what I was saying yesterday, or of what I was thinking, at the very least, I was seriously sleep deprived.

@pthug: seriously? you're afraid of cops shooting you?
do policemen there not carry handguns ?

Torco wrote:@pthug: seriously? you're afraid of cops shooting you?

Yes. They're police.

Torco wrote:do policemen there not carry handguns ?

Not usually, no. But some do. The regular kind are bad enough.

Bob Johnson wrote:

faiuwle wrote:When someone has the power to (and/or is likely to) physically hurt you, or use social position to force you to do something, this is not some kind of "emotional" fact that will go away if you just think happy thoughts, or some bullshit.

When you see a police officer with a firearm, do you often become afraid that he'll shoot you?

It really depends what he's doing and how visible the firearm is, but in most cases it does put you on your toes, yes. That is reason they carry them, after all. It's rational to be careful around people you don't personally know carrying firearms, especially when they probably wouldn't get in any trouble if they did decide to shoot you.

Torco wrote:similarly, girls culturally expect older men interested in them to be psychos, or some of them do. and faiuwle does appear to have a point, in that said cultural expectation might be accurate.

No, it's not that all (or most) men are psychos - it's that in most cases, men have the ability to abuse, manipulate, threaten, or otherwise coerce women without most of the bystanders considering them to be anything but perfectly normal, nice guys. I'm sure most men wouldn't do that, but there's always the possibility that they will, and a woman usually has little or no defense against it. Things like age/size/power/etc. just make this more likely to turn out badly.

I don't think it's a sign of mental illness (or even particularly deviant) to find 20-somethings attractive when you are much older, though.

Astraios wrote:You look much better with hair, Torco.

[X] wrong.

din wrote:

Astraios wrote:You look much better with hair, Torco.

[X] wrong.

I do believe you're using the wrong grading key.

faiuwle wrote:No, it's not that all (or most) men are psychos - it's that in most cases, men have the ability to abuse, manipulate, threaten, or otherwise coerce women without most of the bystanders considering them to be anything but perfectly normal, nice guys. I'm sure most men wouldn't do that, but there's always the possibility that they will, and a woman usually has little or no defense against it. Things like age/size/power/etc. just make this more likely to turn out badly.

Where the hell do you live?

America? Blatant manipulation of women is so unstigmatized that some people have turned it into a science.

ETA: Forgot an un-

faiuwle wrote:stigmatized

I don't think you're using that word right.
I don't think it means what you think it means.
"stigmatized" connotes socially unaccepted.

take a seat, thc
*points at dick*