the Old Granny thread

[vampireshark]

Aaand, I have yet another completely non-vegetarian contribution, this time from Hungary/Austria. I present the following:

Gulyás
Serves: probably 4 (I don't know, though, as I'm a very big eater)

500g/1 lb. beef, preferably a good stewing steak
a little bit of oil
1 tsp. caraway seeds (no more than about 5g)
1 large onion
1-2 bell peppers, red preferred
1/3c. red wine (100 ml.)
about ¼c. white wine vinegar
1 quart/1 litre beef stock
2-3 large potatoes, chopped
¼c. Hungarian sweet paprika
1 tlb. majoram (10g)
1 tlb. thyme (a few sprigs)
1 bay leaf
dash black pepper
dash white pepper
Hungarian spicy paprika to taste

Warning: Use a large pot/pan. You'll need it.

Cut the beef into nice little chunks and fry in a little bit of oil until brown. Remove the beef from the pan. Add the caraway seeds, preferably chopped, along withmore oil and toast lightly. Chop and add the onions and bell peppers and cook until the onion is nice and yellow. Throw the beef back in the pan and cook for two minutes. Add red wine and cook it off, then add the beef stock, vinegar, and the chopped potatoes. Stir for a bit, then add the sweet paprika. Once the paprika is evenly mixed, add the majoram, thyme, bay leaf, peppers, and any spicy paprika. Simmer 30 minutes. Dish up and enjoy.

As a note, make certain that you're using sweet paprika. You may need to go to a specialty grocer to obtain some if you're not in Hungary. Also, the fresher the herbs you can obtain, the better.

[Gulliver]

I'm absolutely going to make a veganised version of this later (or tomorrow - I'd have to make some seitan to sub out the beef and that takes time and makes mess).

That looks lovely!

[jlyne]

Oh My Fucking God This Is Amazing Quiche


1 cup cream cheese
2 cups milk (I use 1% because that's what I've got)
1 caramelized yellow onion (learn to caramelize onions immediately, you will thank me forever and name babies after me)
1 cup green beans (I use the frozen variety)
1/2 lbs bacon
2 cloves garlic
1 cup (or more) cheese - I use old cheddar and mozzarella - cubed or shredded.
6 eggs
olive oil
salt and pepper to taste if you want

Caramelize your onions. I used leftover this time, so this was already done. Put them aside.

Don't wash the pan.

Put your green beans, a bit of olice oil and smashed, loosely chopped garlic in the pan. Saute they up for about 5 minutes (I guess longer if the beans aren't already cooked like the frozen ones I use are). Throw in your onions and let it sit together for another 5 minutes or so. Put it in a bowl.

Don't wash the pan.

Chop up your bacon into 1 inch long strips and cok them up in the pan. You don't want them too crispy, but not too soft either. Drain the greasy, and mix the bacon in with the beans/onions in the bowl.

Don't wash the pan.

Dump the cream cheese and about half the milk into the pan. When the cream cheese is fully melted and mixxed with the milk, start slowing adding in the rest of the milk. Don't let this all boil. Add the cubed cheese a bit at a time, stiring until melted.

In another bowl, whisk your eggs up. Here is where a hand mixer comes in handy. You can do it with a whisk, or I guess a blender or food processor would work ok too. Get the eggs really well mixed.

Add in a little bit of the hot cheese deliciousness from the pan into the eggs, very slowly, stirring constantly. If you do it too fast the eggs will cook, and that's bad. This is called tempering your eggs, btw. Fancy shit. So keep adding the hot stuff to the eggs very slowly while mixing constantly. Once it's all mixed up, keep mixing. You want to get it kind of light and fluffy.

Stir in the bacon/beans/onions mix with a spoon (don't blend this, that would be weird).

Now, I like a crustless quiche, so I pour this right into a pan. This'll fit into a 9"x9" one. If you want crust, pour it into a cooked crust (if it's not cooked, it'll get a bit soggy, and quiche should have a crispy crust). It'll probably make two pie plates worth.

Put it in the oven at 325F for about 30-45 minutes, depending on what you've got it in. Start checking it at 30 minutes anyways. You want it to be firm, it shouldn't jiggle like crazy when you shake it slightly.

When it's done, you should be able to stick a knife in the middle and have it come out with just a bit of filling, which should look kind of obviously cooked. It will be creamy. Let it cool either completely or almost completely before you cut it. I cut it up when it's cooled and then reheat it for about 10 minutes.

It is a mouth orgasm.

Obviously you can substitute veggies. I like mushrooms better than grean beans - I fry them up with garlic and oil, same way - but I didn't happen to have any tonight. It would probably be good with like hunks of italian sausage.

Mmmm.

[캉탁]

Homemade tzadziki is best.

----

1 large cucumber, peeled and graded with either a cheese grader or the shredding tool of a food processor

4-6 cloves of garlic, chopped finely

1 tbsp of salt

1 tbsp of pepper, or cumin (my preference)

20 oz of Greek strained yogurt (Fage brand is best)

3-4 tbsp lemon juice (fresh squeezed is best, but bottled works just fine)

Mix slowly with a spoon until thoroughly mixed.

I promise you'll like it.

[Radius Solis]

I've done homemade tzatziki a few times too, though not such a huge quantity as that. But I should do it again, thanks for making me think of it!


Tip: you can get a garlic press for 5 - 10 bucks and never need to manually chop garlic into a zillion tiny pieces again. Any store that sells kitchenware should have them, maybe even your local supermarket. It's seriously worth it.

[캉탁]

Tip: you can get a garlic press for 5 - 10 bucks and never need to manually chop garlic into a zillion tiny pieces again. Any store that sells kitchenware should have them, maybe even your local supermarket. It's seriously worth it.

I has. It good.

Most of the time I drop the garlic into the food processor and worry not.

[Gulliver]

Real men don't use garlic presses!

Put it under the flat of a knife and give it a quick thunk, then chop a little. Much less washing up.

[Dewrad]

Real men don't use garlic presses!

Put it under the flat of a knife and give it a quick thunk, then chop a little. Much less washing up.

Garlic presses are evil. Whatever comes out of the end of a garlic press is not garlic.

I say this as a chef, and therefore my opinion is authoritative.

But no, seriously, garlic presses aren't good.

They bruise the garlic, which releases all of its flavour compounds before they're actually going to do their best. And, as everyone who has used garlic knows, garlic should be treated only lightly in order to preserve its flavour.

[Radius Solis]

All my uses of garlic are built around all of the flavor being produced on the spot, and if yours aren't, the fault belongs to you, not the garlic press. Lrn2cook.

[Ink]

Garlic presses are evil. Whatever comes out of the end of a garlic press is not garlic.

[TomHChappell]

They bruise the garlic,

Shaken, not stirred. (Stirring bruises the alcohol.)

[Astraios]

Man, this thread makes me wish I could cook.

In fact, no. It makes me wish I had enough money to pay you guys to cook for me.

[Io]

Slice of dark bread + basil + sminduh + extra virgin olive oil + white cheese + olives = ambrosia!

Tomatoes are optional.

[vampireshark]

And now for a simple, painless meal that is filling and makes me happy:

Sausage Pot
Serves: two very hungry people, like me

about 500g/1lb. Italian sausage
½ sweet onion, finely chopped
4-5 leaves basil, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
½ jar, so about 100g pesto alla genovese
300g/10 oz. fusili pasta
parmigiano reggiano cheese, well-grated
butter
other vegetables to taste (I'm rather fond of squashes, such as zucchini and yellow squash, along with bell peppers)

Appropriately cook the sausages and let cool. Cook pasta and drain. Butcher the sausages into nice chunks when reasonably cool.

Melt a small amount of butter and sauté the onion until reasonably golden. Add other veggies, basil, and onion and let cook for a few minutes. Remove from heat.

In large bowl or pan, mix the sausage, pasta, and sautéed vegetables. Garnish copiously with the cheese and serve.


Also, in honor of alcohol, I present another quick thing:
Limoyumyum
Serves: one person

2 shots (so about 50ml) limoncello (more or less, according to taste, but two shots works for me)
250ml lemon-flavored Fanta
lemon slice for garnish

Mix liquid ingredients well. Serve over ice and garnish with lemon slice. Drink in large quantities.

[Torco]

Limoyumyum

wins!

[Guitarplayer II]

250ml lemon-flavored Fanta

I guess you've got non-American Fanta in mind, as I've heard the American version contains corn syrup instead of sugar and tastes awful?

[vampireshark]

250ml lemon-flavored Fanta

I guess you've got non-American Fanta in mind, as I've heard the American version contains corn syrup instead of sugar and tastes awful?

But of course. Fanta from the United States does not deserve the label "Fanta" due to how awful it is and how it shares no characteristics with the other varieties from other countries, namely the juice content and sweetener (yes, even Canadian Fanta has juice).

I used the UK lemon Fanta here, and I also recommend Swiss, German, Bulgarian, and Romanian lemon Fanta. I don't know about the other countries' varieties, though, so I can't provide a recommendation.

[the duke of nuke]

The Greek variety of Fanta (ηβη) is very good.

I'm going to bed now, but tomorrow I may post some recipes of my own. Cheat carbonara!

[Io]

Correct!! I love portokalada Ivi.

[Astraios]

The Greek variety of Fanta (ηβη) is very good.

I'm going to bed now, but tomorrow I may post some recipes of my own. Cheat carbonara!

I love carbonara. :3 Want to cook it for me?

I also love how the word 'ηβη' looks. It looks like it's just crying out to be drunk.

[rickardspaghetti]

Carbonara? This one?

[Astraios]

Háŋ. But Duke did say 'cheat' - I still need to see which one's simpler.

[the duke of nuke]

"Even Easier Than Rickard's" Carbonara

Ingredients:
Spaghetti (about 120 g per person)
Diced pancetta / bacon (two rashers or one tub* per person)
Crème fraîche (about 150 ml per person)
*I get diced pancetta from Sainsbury's, in little tubs.

- Boil water and put the spaghetti on to cook.
- Fry the pancetta.
- A minute before the spaghetti is ready, put the crème fraîche in the frying pan (and turn the head down a little) so it melts.
- Drain the spaghetti.
- Mix it up and make it nice.

But since it's not much easier than Rickard's, I present my own speciality...

"Not Really A" Satay

Ingredients (serves 3):
Diced chicken (450 g)
Chopped onions (2-3)
Chopped vegetables to taste - peppers, carrots, baby sweetcorn, and mushrooms are my favourites for this
Crunchy peanut butter
Light soy sauce
Brown sugar
Oil

- Put a small amount of oil in a large pan and heat.
- Fry the onions. Add a spoonful of sugar while they're frying.
- Add the chicken and fry until golden.
- Add the vegetables and soy sauce. Put the lid on the pan and leave to simmer.
- Once the vegetables are cooked, add a massive dollop (I'm talking a third of a jar here) of peanut butter. Make sure it melts.
- Serve with rice.

According to a Singaporean friend (and my own experience) it's not mich like genuine satay. But it goes down a treat.

[Dewrad]

For reasons which are still not entirely clear to me, my mother in law recently gave us a can of corned beef. I was going to cook something with it this evening, but on opening the can was reminded of the disconcerting way in which corned beef smells like dog food.

So instead, I quickly made this:

Real Carbonara

Carbonara, you heathens, lacks cream. It is simply the happy polygamous union of spaghetti, egg, guanciale, pecorino romano and black pepper. Nothing else. It's also possibly the easiest dish in the world to prepare well, while at the same time being one of the easiest to ruin.

Take a handful of spaghetti per person, and enough diced guanciale (or pancetta, should you not have a good deli near you) as you feel like eating. Boil the spaghetti in a large pot of well-salted water, until the pasta is cooked to your liking. Meanwhile, sauté the pork in a pan without oil until crispy. Beat together one egg per person with more grated pecorino romano that you think needful.

(If you use pre-grated parmesan cheese that comes in a tub, you might as well just never eat again. Your life is entirely without hope or meaning.)

One the pasta is cooked, drain it and reserve about a quarter of a cup of the cooking water. Return the pasta to the pan and stir in the pork. Add the egg and maybe a little of the cooking water (once you've cooked this a few times, experience will tell you whether water is necessary or not). Toss until the egg has thickened slightly and is creamy and coating the pasta.

To serve, scatter over copious amounts of coarsely ground black pepper.

[the duke of nuke]

Cheers Dewrad, I'll give it a go.

Real chefs, always coming in and showing us up...
My ex was also a chef and she was just the same - fortunately I never had the misfortune of cooking a meal. Or seeing her cook.