the Old Granny thread

[Radius Solis]

Such a success it was worth posting twice, eh?

Whoops. Fixed!

[tron cat]

For the next fortnight or so, I'm going to have to survive on about $45 ($35 usd) for food each week.

Any suggestions for ultra-cheap (also preferably healthy and filling) meals?

Currently I mostly survive on nachos, burritos, simple vegetarian pastas, chicken burgers, hash browns, breakfast cereal, instant curry and lentil soup. For lunches I usually dip stuff in hummus.

Also, my kitchenette has no oven, just a gas cooker and microwave

[Bob Johnson]

For the next fortnight or so, I'm going to have to survive on about $45 ($35 usd) for food each week.

So, $5/day, should be plenty.

Cut the nachos; processed food is ridiculously expensive. Cut the meat too unless you can get special deals, such as things at the butcher's counter that's about to expire. Cut the cereal unless you want to eat it dry, milk is expensive. So are soda and alcohol. Drink water. You mention pasta, so presumably you can boil things in water: in which case rice and ramen (throw out the flavor packet if you want to stay healthy; a little oil and basil/oregano will help the taste, or whatever you might have on hand). Potatoes are pretty cheap too, though you'll need to get inventive to cook them without an oven; you can panfry but that's not the healthiest, or I've seen microwaveable potatoes wrapped in some sort of plastic -- no idea how that is supposed to work.

Look for special deals: here I can get a store-brand whole pizza for $4 or so which will keep you full for a day, or a big loaf of bread for $1 (bread is really filling, and you can put all sorts of things on it for flavor; I make garlic bread). A lot of this is based on your situation and internet people can't really help; go look around.

Optimize on cost per food weight and then pay attention to how long each item will keep you from being hungry. If this is a long-term thing you'll want to think about spices for sanity and nutrition for survival, but if it's just a short bump you can cut back a little.

Oh yes: bananas. 0.50/lb, pretty cheap. Don't go exclusive on them, of course. (Bonus points for radioactive food!) You might be able to find other cheap fruits too.

[Risla]

Uh, potatoes are really easy to microwave. Just put an average-sized largeish potato in a microwave for five minutes and tada! It is cooked.

[Shrdlu]

Uh, potatoes are really easy to microwave. Just put an average-sized largeish potato in a microwave for five minutes and tada! It is cooked.

An egg is also perfect to make in an microwave.

[Pthagnar]

chickpeas are bestpeas

[Radius Solis]

I largely agree with Bob Johnson on how to eat on a shoestring budget. Lord knows I've had to do it often enough in the past. Although I'd be trying to optimize cost per calorie count, not per food weight. That usually means lots of carbs, because flour/potatoes/rice/pasta gets you by far the lowest ratio of cost to calories.

But don't abandon protein. The chickenburgers are probably more expensive than beef would be, so if you're alright with beef go for that instead - where I live ground chicken is roughly twice the cost per pound as the cheapest grade of ground beef. Of course that's also the fattiest grade, but saturated fat intake is only a health problem on a scale of years, not weeks (and for the same reason I see no reason to avoid frying potatoes here; two weeks is not going to matter). And obviously the fattier meat is richer in calories too. A pound or half-kilo per week will provide the main substance for three full meals, and there's about a billion things you can do to make it less boring than plain beef burgers if you aren't big on those; if you want I can write you a great big list. Keep eating your lentil soups, that's protein too.

Bananas can be a good choice if you like them, but although people keep repeating the line that they're good for you because of all the potassium they have, potatoes have lots more. So potatoes for their potassium and wheat products for their protein content are the best carb choices. Whereas white rice is not an especially healthy carb choice - it is nutritionally equivalent to eating plain sugar.

[dhok]

I should really learn how to cook everything-in-a-pot stew for college...

[Bob Johnson]

Whereas white rice is not an especially healthy carb choice - it is nutritionally equivalent to eating plain sugar.

Oh yes -- I forgot to mention that. Brown/wild rice forever.

(Talking about it made me hungry enough to go make a plateful of brown rice -- Uncle Ben's box for $2, 2/3 day of food, and tasty! Some cheap stuff you might keep buying just because you like it...)

Oh, and probably not relevant if you can't bake, but I spotted a muffin mix box for $2.50, makes 12 fullsize muffins -- I never would have looked in that area normally. Just keep your eyes open and you might find something great.

[Gulliver]

I know I live in England, which is Opposite World where food prices are concerned (beef cheaper than chicken? Madness!) but I know a little about thrift...

Lentils are not a brilliant source of protein, but they are an okay one. Split peas are good, too. Buckwheat is brilliant, it's like couscous but not nutritionally void. Most people in a current "Western" diet eat too much protein. It's not something you need to worry about; there is protein in almost everything. If you feel so inclined, you can wash the starch out of wheat flour and retain the protein for making veggie sausages.

Eat seasonally, making sure you don't just buy from supermarkets. Seasonal food is usually cheaper from smaller places, who don't stabilise prices the year round.

A few days ago, I made a bake thing with chard (from the garden), kale (cheap because it had a short date), onion (garden), soy mince and buckwheat. It was all kinds of awesome, cheap, filling and more or less nutritionally rounded. You could easily make it on a hob.

Spices and herbs, I think, are the key to cooking cheaply. You can get away with bland ingredients if you use spices intelligently. Smoked paprika is instant nom. Garlic is magic. Ginger is made of little wizards and basil should be sainted.

You can grow your own herbs in takeaway containers, and you can grow tomatoes indoors easily. A bathroom is good, if sunny, because it's always warm and humid. We've got a bit of land and have started growing vegetables, and it's amazing. (Mostly, I'm amazed so little has died), but most things can be grown in pots using £2 bags of compost.

[TomHChappell]

.

[jlyne]

An egg is also perfect to make in an microwave.

That's a prank, right?
40 to 45 seconds on high and it's egg all over the inside of your oven.

Uhm ... crack egg into a round dessert bowl, put in microwavefor ~1 minute, remove from dessert bowl, put on english muffin with a slice of cheese and some ham, and omgbreakfastisdelicious. I do this at work all the time.

[MisterBernie]

Uhm ... crack egg into a round dessert bowl, put in microwavefor ~1 minute, remove from dessert bowl, put on english muffin with a slice of cheese and some ham, and omgbreakfastisdelicious. I do this at work all the time.

*quizzical dog head tilt*
...that's edible?

[jlyne]

Uhm ... crack egg into a round dessert bowl, put in microwavefor ~1 minute, remove from dessert bowl, put on english muffin with a slice of cheese and some ham, and omgbreakfastisdelicious. I do this at work all the time.

*quizzical dog head tilt*
...that's edible?

Generally when something consists of food items, it is indeed edible.

If, however, you mean to say "This combination of common breakfast foods does not sound appealing to me.", then ok, how nice for you, best not make it, eh?

[Astraios]

Generally when something consists of food items, it is indeed edible.

That would however be inedible for me, because eggs make me vomit.

[TomHChappell]

.

[Radius Solis]

Pulled Chicken Fusion

It's not authentic, it's not Fine Cuisine, and it's not the quickest recipe in the world, but it is healthy, cheap (relatively), and delicious - despite the cabbage! I am not a cabbage person. But this, this, is wonderful. You will love it, or I will refund to you what you paid for this recipe - guaranteed!

1. One half-breast of chicken per person: boil them till cooked through, let cool, and shred them. It won't work with non-breast meat. The finer the shred the better the results, but do it too finely and it takes bloody forever.

2. Half a head of cabbage (or 1/4 head per person): finely chop it into shreds. Shreds can be long, so long as they're narrow.

3. Grate or finely julienne a carrot, and chop up a dozen or so green onions.

4. Fully heat up your skillet or wok with 1 - 2 tablespoons oil. Toss in cabbage, stir-fry one minute, toss in carrot, stir-fry another two minutes. (Timing is relatively important here for getting a proper degree of cooking.) Toss in the pulled chicken and keep stir-frying until it's fully heated, about another minute.

5. Remove from heat; then, while still hot, sprinkle with green onions, 1 - 2 tablespoons soy sauce, and some ginger powder if you have it to hand. If you'd prefer to include real ginger among the vegetables instead, feel free.

6. Serve immediately. Eat by rolling into flour tortillas, at the table, as you would with Mexican food.


(Recipe inspired by Mu Shu Pork, but without the hassle of making those silly pancake things Chinese restaurants serve with it that are never adequate to the task.)

[dunomapuka]

Radius: an excellent addition, either at the end or during the frying, would be sesame oil.

Last night I had a box of mac & cheese and I decided to dress it up a bit, as follows.

You will need:
-one mac & cheese box (I happened to have Annie's aged cheddar. you could try it with Kraft, or whatever)
-bacon (two strips)
-butter (2 tbs)
-half an onion, diced
-frozen peas (a small handful)
-milk (maybe half a cup)
-some cream or half & half (optional)
-turmeric (1 ts)
-cayenne pepper (a pinch; optional)
-sugar (a pinch; optional)
-salt and pepper to taste
-chopped scallions

Use scissors to cut the bacon into small bits and fry until palatable but on the soft side. Don't burn it. Then remove, blot with paper towel, and discard the bacon grease in the pan. You'll probably have some grease and small bits remaining, that's okay.

In the same pan, melt the butter on medium heat. When it's all melted, add the onion. Sauté it for a minute or two, then add turmeric, salt, sugar and cayenne pepper. Re-add bacon and continue cooking and stirring for a minute, letting flavors mingle.

Put the water on for your pasta. Meanwhile, put the milk (and optional cream) in the pan, then stir in the contents of the cheese packet. I only had skim milk and half & half, so I used a combination of both, but you could just use whole milk. I don't know how much I put in, I just kind of eyeballed it.

Microwaves the peas in a bowl with a little water for about two minutes, then discard water and add them to the pan also. Season sauce with salt and pepper and cayenne to taste, and simmer. If the liquid level gets too low, add more milk. Cook pasta, then combine with sauce. Serve with more black pepper and chopped scallions on top.

Play around with this, but the really essential part is the butter/onion/turmeric combo at the beginning.

[Risla]

My just-discovered manner of making tofu that is very chewy and weirdly reminiscent of fried chicken:

You will need:

• A block of firm tofu (14oz, although you could probably get away with up to 20z of tofu or so with this much sauce)
• Coconut oil (1Tbsp)
• Peanut oil (1Tbsp)
• Soy sauce (1/2 cup)
• Peanut butter (2Tbsp)

1. Wrap paper towels around the tofu and set heavy things on it to dry it out.
2. Let it dry for half an hour.
3. Cut the tofu into smallish chunks, ~3/4 inch across or so.
4. Mix the coconut oil, peanut oil, soy sauce and peanut butter together in a largeish bowl, making sure not to leave chunks of anything.
5. Put the tofu chunks in the bowl and make sure all the outside surface of the tofu is covered in the sauce.
6. Let sit for half an hour.
7. Heat oven to 375.
8. Spread the tofu out on a cookie sheet.
9. Bake the tofu for an hour and fifteen minutes, turning it over roughly halfway through.
10. Turn oven up to 400 and bake for another fifteen minutes.
11. Remove from oven, and although it should smell fantastic do not try to eat it until it cools down.

I had several people walk into the kitchen while this was baking and express confusion that my vegetarian self was cooking chicken, since it smelled like it.

Also features a goddamn lot of salt, thanks to the soy sauce, though I have the unique ability to consume large quantities of salt and still have my sodium levels be low.

[candrodor]

I know a few people have said this over the course of the thread, because I've gone through half of it already and printed off the recipes I want to try, but dewrad's ragù alla bolognese was yum last night. I want to try out zompist's dutch pancakes at some point too, and quite a few others from the list.

My contribution for the moment will have to just be: sunflower seeds in basically everything. So, in toasties, in fried-mix-of-veg-poured-over-pasta, und und und. If I remember nice things I've cooked, I'll come back to the thread, but my approach is generally throwing chopped veg into a frying pan and stinking the staircase out with onion. Yum.

[vampireshark]

vampireshark's Dripping Peach Lemonade
For one serving
1 glass (about 250 ml, give or take) sparkling lemonade
1 shot (say, 25 ml) De Kuyper Peachtree or a similar peach-flavored liqueur. Add a second shot (or more) for more happiness.
Ice, if desired
Sliced, moist, dripping, juicy peaches, if desired

Pour the shot into a glass over ice. Add lemonade. Stir. Garnish with a slice of peach. Consume in large quantities.

If you're going for a party pitcher, I recommend a 5 or 10-1 ratio of DeKuyper to lemonade.

[Torco]

Lemonade with peach and alcohol? nais!

Torco's Cant'-go-wrong Soup'o'Shroom

You need half a kilo of shrooms, not the hallucinogenic kind, of course, and some noodles, onion, ciboulette, turkey breast or some other tasty meat like ham, and chili... if you can get your hands on merquén, which is a special kind of chili, all the better. Also salt, water, and maybe some random vegetables you particularly like. Oh! right. butter or some sort of animal fat, lard, you know. Also, garlic and, naturally, stock.

preparation:
chop the meat into dices, chop the onion, ciboulette and whatever other veggie you particularly like, doesn't matter how. manually separate the trunk of the shroom from the head, and slice the heads so that you have like slices of shroom. make a paste out of chili, garlic, and some oil , throw the meat into the paste and play with the bits of meat until the meat has paste all over it, nice and messy. let the meat rest for a while in that tasty paste thing and proceed to turn on the heat.

as for the cooking:
cut a brick of butter, aprox. 30 grams of it, and throw it in a big metal pot, you know, the kind you use to make soup. let it heat
then fry them bits of meat just a bit, you know, just seal them. take the bits of meat out and throw in the onions, the vegetables, and the shroom trunks, stir and fry for a while and then add hot chicken stock, or vegetable stock, hell, water works just fine as well, don't worry about it. An easy way to produce stock is throwing stuff into a pot, throwing some water in there, and letting that boil, so yeah. Once you have all the vegetables and bits of shroom floating around in there you put in some salt, wait a while, and then add noodles. take the bits of meat and put them into a pot with holes in it or a colander, and let those pieces of meat cook inside all that boiling goodness for 10 min or something. Once the onion bits inside the soup are completely transparent you need to add the shroom heads: shroom trunks are hard and take time to cook, but shroom heads are okay with 5 minutes of heat, so throw them in, let it boil, and take a sip of wine or something. After those 5 minutes pass you need to take the meat out and put it in a plate or something. also, use a spoon to remove some of the shroom head slices out of the pot. After that take everything that's inside the pot, that is, everything but the meat and the slices of shroom head, and put it in the blender/food processer/whatever you call that thing that takes solid food and completely destroys it, turning it into mush. Add the meat bits and the shroom slices, without blending them, into the mush, and salt. BAM! you made soup.


amateur recipe ftw

[Astraios]

Torco's Cant'-go-wrong Soup'o'Shroom

I hate you because this sounds totally awesome.

Also, "trunk" usually means something bigger and harder than the one you get on mushrooms; mushrooms (and most non-tree plants) have a "stalk".

[Torco]

it is totally awesome

stalk. stalk is the word i was looking for. That's the problem with learning english the way I did. arguments and videogames and academic stuff is just fine, but when I'm asked to talk about feelings, food, or any specific field with specific lexicon I'm at a complete loss: I don't know any of the words for, say, cuts of meat, automotive parts, or agricultural stuff.

still, admit it, my idiosyncratic and accenty prose is exotic and interesting.

[Astraios]

stalk. stalk is the word i was looking for. That's the problem with learning english the way I did. arguments and videogames and academic stuff is just fine, but when I'm asked to talk about feelings, food, or any specific field with specific lexicon I'm at a complete loss: I don't know any of the words for, say, cuts of meat, automotive parts, or agricultural stuff.

Well, you're not the only one. xD I have no idea about half the cookery words my mother uses.

still, admit it, my idiosyncratic and accenty prose is exotic and interesting.

It's mildly endearing, yes.