the Old Granny thread

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Salmoneus »

Sirdanilot: I was about to apologise to you for being bitchy yesterday, but.... nope, you're doing it again.

Why the fuck would I spend hours of my life perfecting a meal that you like but I don't? How can that possibly seem a helpful suggestion?

And in the spirit of that apology, I won't say the rest of what I'd like to say right now.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by sirdanilot »

Wow, does everyone on this forum overreact to every single thing in existence? Go make a cup of tea and calm down or something, wow. This is not just you, but I see this in a lot of threads and with a lot of people.

Your reasoning does not make sense. You don't like chicken because you don't know what to do with it, so I give some suggestions. You don't like them. Fair enough.
You complain that of the few things you would do with chicken, one usually fails (too dry), and give it as another reason not to eat chicken.
I suggest that you are doing something wrong when it comes out too dry.
You overreact.

If you want to know how to make a chicken leg, I'll gladly answer you, but if you don't then just go take a cold shower or something to cool down.

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Drydic »

sirdanilot wrote:Wow, does everyone on this forum overreact to every single thing in existence? Go make a cup of tea and calm down or something, wow. This is not just you, but I see this in a lot of threads and with a lot of people.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Salmoneus »

sirdanilot wrote:Wow, does everyone on this forum overreact to every single thing in existence? Go make a cup of tea and calm down or something, wow. This is not just you, but I see this in a lot of threads and with a lot of people.

Your reasoning does not make sense. You don't like chicken because you don't know what to do with it, so I give some suggestions. You don't like them. Fair enough.
You complain that of the few things you would do with chicken, one usually fails (too dry), and give it as another reason not to eat chicken.
I suggest that you are doing something wrong when it comes out too dry.
You overreact.

If you want to know how to make a chicken leg, I'll gladly answer you, but if you don't then just go take a cold shower or something to cool down.
I get angry with you because you clearly don't read the posts you reply to.
I don't particularly like chicken because I don't particularly like chicken. Not everybody is obligated to love chicken. As I've said, twice now, I find chicken quite bland, and hence not worth the price - I would rather either spend less for something just as good, or spend slightly more for something slightly better.
I am not asking for suggestions on what to do with chicken. I have done a lot of things with chicken over the years, there are lots of suggestions already made in this thread on what to do with chicken, I know people IRL who regularly cook chicken, and I have about a hundred recipes for things to do with chicken in paper books, plus access to the internet which is filled with millions of ways to cook chicken. In fact, you might notice, this discussion began when I myself posted a way to cook chicken that I enjoyed.
The problem is not that I can't think of any way to cook chicken, it's that I don't particularly like chicken.

You respond to me saying that I don't generally like chicken that much by telling me to cook chicken a particular way because you enjoy it (and a particularly unhelpful way at that - yes, I've heard of the idea of putting chicken in the oven before, thanks for suggesting that, totally new concept to me). I make clear that I have already eaten chicken cooked that way, and I still didn't really love it. In addition, my attempts at cooking it that way haven't been entirely succesful anyway. To which you reply that I just need to work harder and listen to you more, and then I'll be able to cook chicken the way you like it. But this misses the point: its up to you to make food that you like; my job is just to make food that I like. So telling me I'm not cooking your food right isn't very motivating to me. You want your food cooked right, you cook it yourself and leave me out of it. You are telling me I'm doing something wrong - which is what I already told you - when i've already told you I have no interest in doing it right, because I don't particularly like chicken. [Of course, if someone suggested some radical new way of cooking chicken I hadn't tasted before, I'd probably give it a try. But that's not what's happening here]. This is not a helpful commentary. I have not at any time asked for people to convert me to loving chicken, so I don't know why you think it's your business to do so. And no, I haven't asked you how you like to cook chicken, I've instead repeatedly told you I don't care how you like to cook chicken [although, of course, do feel free to post a chicken recipe anyway, that's what the thread is for - just don't pretend that you're in any way responding to me in a relevant fashion], and I'm not sure why you're confusing those two positions.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by sirdanilot »

Wow, yippee. You don't like chicken. Go celebrate.

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Legion »

Salmoneus > I can fully emphatize with you over the tyrannic oppression you are here being the victim of; it's pretty much like that one time some pretentious asshole whose name I forgot was pestering Xephyr about trying more chocolate, even though Xephyr had repeatedly stated that every single time he had tasted chocolate, he hated it. Geeze, some people, eh?

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Hallow XIII »

To make matters worse, Cev only said that he did not like chocolate, whereas you even gave three separate explanations for why chicken is bad!

Truly, some people are inconsiderate.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Salmoneus »

Legion wrote:Salmoneus > I can fully emphatize with you over the tyrannic oppression you are here being the victim of; it's pretty much like that one time some pretentious asshole whose name I forgot was pestering Xephyr about trying more chocolate, even though Xephyr had repeatedly stated that every single time he had tasted chocolate, he hated it. Geeze, some people, eh?
I didn't pester him, I suggested it ONCE. The difference was that Cev said he hated all chocolate but had only tried cheap american chocolate. I suggested he try a different type of chocolate. He did, he still didn't like it, and I was satisfied.
Whereas sirdanilot is suggesting I try the same chicken, cooked the same way, that I already don't particularly like. As I say, if he were suggesting some novel way of cooking it that might produce different results, of course I'd listen to him.

[although in general I do also find 'it's OK but I don't really love it' a more reliable judgement than 'I hate it', since with things that are acquired tastes, hating something is a common precursor of loving it]

But I give up.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Dewrad »

sirdanilot wrote:Wow, does everyone on this forum overreact to every single thing in existence? Go make a cup of tea and calm down or something, wow. This is not just you, but I see this in a lot of threads and with a lot of people.
(Note: if you are mainly noticing this in threads in which you are participating, do bear in mind that the common factor might just be you. (Because, frankly, you do frequently come across as a total prick.))

I'm kind of with Sal on the whole chicken thing, though. Never been enraptured by the stuff, and on the rare occasions I do have chicken I'm more likely to splurge and buy a whole bird to roast rather than parts of it.

And, Sirdanilot, to forestall you suggesting I "try something different" or that I might just be "doing it wrong", and knowing as I do that you don't like reading threads or making an effort to engage with the board's community (apparently you don't think there is one?), I will mention that until recently I was a professional chef. I've tried and cooked more variations of chicken meals than I really care to recall. I just think it's bland, and not cheap enough here to justify me using it as a default go-to meat.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

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danilot, melend and chagen fanfiction

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Re: the Old Granny thread

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and charlie5 slashfic with his girlfriend who is hot
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Radius Solis »

A lot of my initial reaction came from real life experience, in which pharazon - years ago - told me he doesn't like chicken very much because it's too bland and boring. And for years now I've nevertheless fed it to him several times a week, on average, and with all the various things I do to it he rarely seems to find it actually bland or boring. (And that's not just politeness - he eats with visible enthusiasm.)

And the reason I bother, in addition to the health question, is the price.

For comparison, I would identify beef as having three basic price categories at my local Safeway:
Ground beef and the tough cuts like cube steak are the cheapest; usually about $4 to $5/lb.
Mid-range steak meat like ball tip and tri-tip go for $6 to $9/lb and I don't get them more than once or twice a month.
Expensive cuts of beef, from T-bone up through filet and rib roast, exceed $10/lb and in some cases twice that. My purchase of these is limited to Christmas and birthdays.

Brand-name chicken breast that's theoretically of higher quality may well be $8/lb or more, but I get the store brand, which has the base price of $6. But even then I most often don't buy it at that price. There are often sales reducing it to $5, and once in a while they become so overstocked that, just to sell it before it goes bad, they do a 50%-off sale. I take good advantage of those to stock up on it. So my cost for chicken averages to roughly the same as the cost of ground beef. Now, thigh meat is cheaper still - base price $4/lb - but I don't use it much because it's so awfully fatty and I don't like that. Unless I'm making some form of chicken soup, a task to which thigh is well suited because all that fat goes to enriching the broth.

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Re: the Old Granny thread

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Drydic wrote:and charlie5 slashfic with his girlfriend who is hot
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Nortaneous »

How many pounds is a chicken? The only time I eat it is when I buy a whole cooked chicken -- they're about $7 -- and throw some Old Bay or Worcestershire sauce on it. I can't imagine cooking actual dishes with chicken; it's so bland and so dry that anything that makes it good is too hard to make at home.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Hallow XIII »

The problem with this sort of statements is that that really depends on what you compare it to. Compared to beef, chicken is bland and dry. Compared to actually bland and dry things, chicken is tasty and succulent.

At least if it is good chicken, so when people say this sort of thing it is absolutely impossible to know if they just don't like chicken or if they've been eating shitty chicken.

tl;dr discussions about chicken will end in somebody throwing a fit

P.S. If your problem is in the dryness (and you haven't already), I recommend trying chicken soup. Use celery.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Nortaneous »

Cheap beef is also bland and dry, but nowhere near as much as chicken: all you need to do is drop it in noodles with sauce (I like rice noodles, although they're hard not to overcook) and it's fine, whereas chicken only works well in pasta and why would anyone put meat in pasta that isn't ravioli. Also celery is awful.
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Pthagnar »

the best chicken is fried -- this is the fundamental error with chicken that people are making in this thread, perhaps because you are all racist. i had some karage chicken yesterday and it was delicious and not dry at all (except on the crispy surface)

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by vampireshark »

While chicken may be bland and boring, it's incredibly versatile, it takes on flavorings with relative ease, and (here where I live) it's quite cheap, where a pound of boneless chicken breasts can be had as cheaply as $3-$6, so ~US$6.50-US$13.00/kg for the metrically-inclined. If it comes with bones, it's even cheaper (bone-in breasts can be as little as $1/lb, or $2.25/kg, on a good day). You can fry it in lots of different ways (I like to marinate breasts in some balsamic vinegar and herbes de Provence before pan-frying it), bake it (lots of different recipes for such), grill it, and more. And said marinated chicken on top of some pasta with some pesto is really quite good. I may be trying a fried chicken recipe soon which may be shared.

In contrast, quality beef (like steaks) in northeast Ohio is surprisingly expensive, with normal prices for mid-quality steaks starting at about $10 per pound on a normal day with the absolute cheapest they get being about $7/lb. Go figure. Pork isn't too much better price-wise, either.
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6 Heath Bars (total weight of 8.4 oz, or 230 g), crushed
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Radius Solis »

Pthagnar wrote:the best chicken is fried -- this is the fundamental error with chicken that people are making in this thread, perhaps because you are all racist. i had some karage chicken yesterday and it was delicious and not dry at all (except on the crispy surface)
No, it is because fried chicken is practically impossible to get right with deep frying. Fry it shallow and the coating will not remain crisp - once you set it down on your plate for more than ten seconds, water soaks out of the chicken and turns the coating soggy and it starts sloughing off. Unless, of course, you fry it so long that the chicken is desiccated. I've spent enough years trying to find a magic middle ground to be pretty confident in telling you that there isn't one. And while proper fried chicken is certainly good, it's not so good that I'm willing to waste half a gallon of oil just for that.

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Pthagnar »

there certainly is a golden mean because i have eaten delicious fried chicken before. maybe you're not racist *enough*?

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Nortaneous »

the way to prepare fried chicken is: go to kfc
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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Pthagnar »

or somewhere with the correct infrastructure, yes

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by sirdanilot »

Dewrad wrote:
I'm kind of with Sal on the whole chicken thing, though. Never been enraptured by the stuff, and on the rare occasions I do have chicken I'm more likely to splurge and buy a whole bird to roast rather than parts of it.

\, I will mention that until recently I was a professional chef. I've tried and cooked more variations of chicken meals than I really care to recall. I just think it's bland, and not cheap enough here to justify me using it as a default go-to meat.
Again I needed to remove the unnecessary rhetoric from your post.
You really were a professional chef? That's cool. But you would then know that there are countless varieties of chicken which are much more flavourful than the standard chicken you will find at your grocery store. I agree with you that compared with other birds, chicken is much less exciting. That's mainly because of how it's raised. If you get an organically raised chicken, it's already gonna be a lot better. I will usually not order anything with chicken when in a restaurant, as I'd just be like 'meh, I can make that myself anyway', unless it's a very special dish. Chicken is everyday food, but it's certainly worth its (low) cost.

As for other poultry: duck is absolutely amazing, for example. I haven't eaten turkey much but it's probably better than chicken (unlike in the US, turkey is regarded as a pricey luxury food here, only eaten at christmas or something). Goose is also rather nice, though duck is still by far my favourite. I love to use the duck fat in other dishes, after making a duck roast you have tons of duck fat leftover.

If you don't want dry chicken (roast), you have to brine it, by the way. Just put it in water with plenty of salt for about a night, then drain thoroughly and pat dry, then oven roast. You can also vary with flavourings in the brine (ie soy sauce instead of salt, adding sweet/sour things, etc).

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Re: the Old Granny thread

Post by Dewrad »

sirdanilot wrote:
Dewrad wrote:
I'm kind of with Sal on the whole chicken thing, though. Never been enraptured by the stuff, and on the rare occasions I do have chicken I'm more likely to splurge and buy a whole bird to roast rather than parts of it.

\, I will mention that until recently I was a professional chef. I've tried and cooked more variations of chicken meals than I really care to recall. I just think it's bland, and not cheap enough here to justify me using it as a default go-to meat.
Again I needed to remove the unnecessary rhetoric from your post.
It wasn't "unnecessary rhetoric". It was "calling you out for being a prick."
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Re: the Old Granny thread

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Radius Solis wrote:
Pthagnar wrote:the best chicken is fried -- this is the fundamental error with chicken that people are making in this thread, perhaps because you are all racist. i had some karage chicken yesterday and it was delicious and not dry at all (except on the crispy surface)
No, it is because fried chicken is practically impossible to get right with deep frying. Fry it shallow and the coating will not remain crisp - once you set it down on your plate for more than ten seconds, water soaks out of the chicken and turns the coating soggy and it starts sloughing off. Unless, of course, you fry it so long that the chicken is desiccated. I've spent enough years trying to find a magic middle ground to be pretty confident in telling you that there isn't one. And while proper fried chicken is certainly good, it's not so good that I'm willing to waste half a gallon of oil just for that.

Response inspired by this thread:

Well, you just haven't done it the *right* way.


(No really though, my boyfriend makes super tasty shallow-fried chicken -- I think the secret is in the batter. I don't really know what he does. Maybe it's a little tempura-like?)
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