the Old Granny thread

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Radius Solis
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Post by Radius Solis »

Dexboy wrote:
Vegetarian option: none. Sorry. Taco salad without the meat wouldn't be remotely the same thing.
Tofu, soya, tempeh, seitan. Ok, so it's not meat but I'm pretty sure you can make a pretty decent taco salad without meat. All you need is a bit of creativity.
Vegetarian option: omit sausage.
Again. This can be substituted rather then omitted. They do actually make sausages out of tofu or weat.
I suppose that's true, for such folks as like things that way. Of the vegetarians I've personally known, though, most have disdained meat substitutes as unbefitting or undignified*, so it's their style I tend to have in mind when I think "vegetarian". And when the dish is something that's just as good without the meat, and I sometimes make it that way anyway, I see little reason not to just say "omit it".

For taco salad, though, leaving out the meat would mean leaving out the chili entirely, which would merely make a mixture of lettuce and salsa and cheese. Which might well be tasty, but couldn't exactly be called a taco salad. You could probably make a chili sauce on your own or from a package, but that would be well outside the scope of the recipe, the whole point of which is that it's "super-simple".


*As per Dewrad's last post
Last edited by Radius Solis on Tue Oct 17, 2006 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Wycoval »

Dewrad wrote: We don't try to disguise meat as vegetables, so why on earth do vegetarians think it's a good idea to disguise tofu as meat?
MEAT DISGUISED AS A CAR
Image

MEAT DISGUISED AS A HAT
Image
[size=200]☧[/size]

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Post by Junes »

I love cooking and I'm certainly gonna try a vegetarian version of Dewrad's recipe.
Traditional Dutch cooking is not very sophisticated (well, that's a euphemism), but it can be quite tasty. Here's a recipe for endive stamppot (one hungry person). I seldom weigh things, so use common sense with the amounts.

Endive stamppot

200g curly endive (the big green one, not the small white Belgian endive)
200g mashing potatoes
100g bacon
50 g cubes of (ripe) Gouda cheese
salt, pepper (preferably freshly ground)

Peel potatoes, boil for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, fry the bacon (no need for butter or oil) till it's crispy. Wash and cut the endive and boil it for a very short time (2 min or so).
Mash potatoes with some butter and a little bit of milk (careful with the milk). Add pepper and salt. Taste! Add milk if dry, add salt and pepper if bland.
Add endive, bacon and cheese to potatoes and stir. Put pan on a low fire, stir while waiting for the cheese to melt. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: not healthy :mrgreen:. Vegetarians like myself can leave out the bacon.

Thanks to colonialism and immigration, we don't have to eat food like this every day. Therefore:

Vegetarian roti (Hindustani Surinamese):

1 roti This may be hard to find. Preferably, you want the dalpuri (with split peas) or the aloopuri one (with potatoes). You can also make them yourself, or, if all else fails, use tortilla or something.
200 g mashing potatoes
100 g yardlong bean (common bean if you can't find it)
1 egg

sauce:
4 tablespoons of masala
1 tablespoon of (preferably sweet) soy sauce
2 teaspoons of paprika
1 teaspoon garlic powder or 1 finely cut clove
1 teaspoon of onion powder
pinch of nutmeg
300 ml vegetable broth

Peel potatoes, cut in pieces. Cut yardlong beans in 1 cm pieces. Put both in one pan, add ingredients for sauce. Let it boil on a low fire (about 15-20 min.) until it's dry and very thick. In the meantime, hardboil the egg and heat the roti.

Serve roti with stew and egg. Eat with hands :D.

Non-vegetarians can add chicken to the stew.
Last edited by Junes on Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by jlyne »

My Bean-o-licious Vegetarian chili

2 cans red kidney beans
1 can black beans (really nice if you can find stuff packed in chili sauce, though I haven't found it here in Canada)
1 can "white" beans (also haven't found these in Canada, probably because no one knows what "white beans" are ... that's a literal translation of the German, so I'm assuming there is a completely different name for them in English ... so if you can't find these, there's a type of whiteish bean I've found that works fine ... just use whatever beans you like)

1 can peeled tomotoes (you can use fresh ones and peel them, but the cans are cheaper and less of a pain in the ass)
1/2-1 onion, depending on how much you like onions

Chili powder, Cayenne pepper, salt, black pepper, garlic, whatever other spices you want, all to taste, since everyone likes it a different level of hot

Saute the onions with garlic in a bit of oil or butter in a big pot. Add in a bunch of the spices and mix it up. Take the canned beans and mix them together. Mash about half, I just do it in my hands instead of dirtying another dish, and throw the mashed and unmashed beans in with the onions. Drain the canned tomotoes, leave just a bit of liquid. Leave a lot if you like fairly watery chili, or none if you want it very thick to use on a taco or fries or something. Dice up the tomatoes a little bit, just into quarters and mix them in with the beans mix. Let it all simmer, taste it and add more spices until it tastes good to you. I let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes, while I tidy up and cook some garlic bread. the longer it simmers, the more the flavours mix together.

This is basically just a do it to taste recipe. If you like black beans more than kidney, then use more of them. This recipe does make quite a bit though, so you can use half cans if you want. But it tastes great the next day re-heated anyways, so leftovers aren't a problem.


Sophie's Soup

My Belgian vegetarian insanely fuzzy friend made this soup for me several times while we were living in Germany, and I now I make it for myself all the time too.

4 cups water
about 2-3 chicken or vegetable boullion cubes
1 can unseasoned tomatoe sauce
Potatoes
1can of cooked Chick peas
Carrots

Boil the water and add the boullion cubes. Chop up the potatoes, as many as you'd like, into bite size cubes, and add them. Slice the carrots, also as many as you'd like, lengthwise into halves or quaters, depending on how thick it is. Chop them into about 1 inch long strips and throw them into the broth. Let them cook for 2 or 3 minutes then add the tomatoe sauce. Don't add too much, you don't want it to overpower the broth taste. Add a bit until it's a pale reddish colour, and give it a taste. You might have to adjust the amount of sauce, water, and boullion until you like the taste. Add the chick peas once the carrots and potatoes are nearly cooked. Once everything is cooked, put in a bowl and eat.


My Favorite Easy Dessert

Simple thing that most kids would do and probably do do. Vanilla ice cream, chopped up banana, melted peanut butter, chocolate sauce, crumpled chocolate chips cookies and graham crackers. Mmmm. Perhaps PMS food. It's a beautiful thing.
Yup.

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Post by Salmoneus »

I don't do recipes. I fry things slowly with very little oil, and bung in stuff so that I don't get bored.

Lamb, fryed with onions, with ketjap manis and (VERY LITTLE) red thai curry paste and some coriander and nutmeg and rosemary and pepper and maybe some chili oil. Make sure onions are really, really done. The ketjap really soaks into them (ketjap manis is like a sweeter soy sauce, with a hint of something extra).

If you fry salmon, and turn it frequently without the skin, it breaks up into little flecks, which can be mixed in with pasta. Tastes very good, in my opinion, with plenty of thai 7 spice and tarragon, with perhaps some pepper, paprika, basil and a tiny quantity of something puddingy like cinamon or allspice.

An easy thing to do to flavour pasta is to cook some bacon, in small bits, while the pasta is cooking, then add some camembert to melt, and add some slices of chorizo for a few minute, and then add the cooked pasta, turning up the heat but turning really frequently so that the pasta doesn't burn at the bottom and the camembert doesn't stick, and add more camembert, and a LITTLE worcestershire sauce, and a few more slices of chorizo (all torn up), and a healthy but not excessive dose of red wine, stirring all the time to mix everything in, before adding a bit of some kind of salad dressing (something simple and balsamic - a plain vinnaigrette, french or italian dressing, greek dressing) - but not too much since it can overpower, before leaving it to stand for a minute so that the pasta on the bottom gets a little burnt, before serving. The result is a cheesy bacony slightly purple pasta (the camembert melts and effectively coats the pasta (i find penne particularly good, or fusili)), where the pasta has quite a dry (but soft) but slippery texture. It's probably an aquired taste, or indeed one unique to me.

Recently, I did some pork, with leek, cooked with red thai curry paste and hoi sin sauce. Surprisingly good in combination.
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Post by praseodymium »

Alpaca Sandwich wrote:
Dewrad wrote: We don't try to disguise meat as vegetables, so why on earth do vegetarians think it's a good idea to disguise tofu as meat?
MEAT DISGUISED AS A CAR
Image

MEAT DISGUISED AS A HAT
Image
*falls over laughing*

Where did you find those? :D
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Post by finlay »

I know how to make about three things, and they're chilli, curry (from a jar) and bolognese. I keep rotating through them, cooking big batches and sticking it in the fridge to heat up later. Oh the joys of being a student! I've never really had much desire to learn much beyond that, unless anyone has some decent spicy things out there? :)

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Post by Wycoval »

praseodymium wrote: MEAT DISGUISED AS A CAR
[img snip]
MEAT DISGUISED AS A HAT
[img snip]

*falls over laughing*

Where did you find those? :D
Googled "made of meat". :oops: You can find pictures of just about anything if you do the right search.
[size=200]☧[/size]

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Post by 캉탁 »

When I first saw the title of this thread my mind immediately jumped to geriatric pr0n.

sorry to intrude

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Post by finlay »

Sano wrote:When I first saw the title of this thread my mind immediately jumped to geriatric pr0n.

sorry to intrude

[/spam]
A useful insight into the workings of Khang's mind, perhaps?

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Post by - »

Dewrad wrote:For one, the taste and texture is never right. For two, if you're trying to fool yourself into thinking you have meat on your plate, you might want to re-think the whole vegetarian thing.
Actually, meat substitutes have gotten increasingly convincing over the years. There's a Chinese restaurant in my neck of the woods that cooks its whole menu with them, and you'd really be hard-pressed to tell the difference. Ten or fifteen years ago that wouldn't have been possible.

I used to think meat substitutes were dumb, of course. Now I'm not so sure. There are a fair number of meat-eaters who, in theory, don't care for agribusiness' treatment of animals but find the taste of meat hard or impossible to give up; for those people I think (some) meat substitutes are actually a pretty good way to go.
Oh THAT'S why I was on hiatus. Right. Hiatus Mode re-engaged.

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Post by kodé »

Salmoneus wrote:I don't do recipes. I fry things slowly with very little oil, and bung in stuff so that I don't get bored.
...truly a man after my own heart.

Yesterday, I made some pasta with a little sauté. I just fried some garlic in olive oil, then added onions and scallions until nice and brown, then put in some mushrooms, along with some red pepper flakes and some herbs, including fresh flat-leaf parsley and cilanto, and of course a little balsamic vinegar. It's not really a "recipe" in my mind; it's just adding things into hot oil, so that the end result is flavorful yet substantial.

I also make fresh salsa all the time. The important thing is to get a good ratio between the tomatoes and the peppers. Usually, it's 5-6 roma tomatoes with either 4-5 jalapeños, 3-4 serranos, or 2 pasillas, or any mix. Then there's the garlic, the onion, the cilantro, with some salt, chili powder, and plenty of lime juice, too. I usually just eat it with tortilla chips.

Really, I just like dicing stuff up and mixing it in the right proportions. Of course, my repertoire isn't that huge, though I used to make a mean crèpe...



Unfortunately, I haven't yet learned how to make good Armenian food, despite spending time in close proximity to both of my grandmothers. I'd be a lot happier with some good hommus around, which you can't really get much of in Annapolis, MD*...


*Sano can attest to this first-hand.
linguoboy wrote:
GrinningManiac wrote:Local pronunciation - /ˈtoʊ.stə/
Ah, so now I know where Towcester pastries originated! Cheers.

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Space Dracula
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Post by Space Dracula »

Dewrad wrote:
Dexboy wrote:
Vegetarian option: omit sausage.
Again. This can be substituted rather then omitted. They do actually make sausages out of tofu or weat.
Urgh. I'm sorry, but meat substitute is just wrong. While I'm not a strict vegetarian, I do eat more vegetarian food than non-vegetarian because of its economy, and I am a firm believer that vegetables taste good by themselves and have no need to masquerade as meat. For one, the taste and texture is never right. For two, if you're trying to fool yourself into thinking you have meat on your plate, you might want to re-think the whole vegetarian thing.

As an example, I love veggieburgers. Adore them. But the kind I like is the sort that actually taste of the vegetables they're made of, not something which is trying its hardest to be be something it's not. We don't try to disguise meat as vegetables, so why on earth do vegetarians think it's a good idea to disguise tofu as meat?
I completey agree, Dewrad. Vegetables are vegetables and should be consumed as such. While when I'm with my family we do consume some amount of mockmeat, it's not used to fill a meat void or something. It's used because it's tasty in itself, rather than because of any accuracy to meat. Besides, very realistic mockmeat is creepy and nasty.

Note for non-vegetarians: mockmeat != I want meat

uote="ils"]
Actually, meat substitutes have gotten increasingly convincing over the years. There's a Chinese restaurant in my neck of the woods that cooks its whole menu with them, and you'd really be hard-pressed to tell the difference. Ten or fifteen years ago that wouldn't have been possible.

I used to think meat substitutes were dumb, of course. Now I'm not so sure. There are a fair number of meat-eaters who, in theory, don't care for agribusiness' treatment of animals but find the taste of meat hard or impossible to give up; for those people I think (some) meat substitutes are actually a pretty good way to go.[/quote]

Oddly there's a Chinese restaurant in Tulsa that does the same. Their food is pretty good, but I still dislike the creepiness of the mockmeat. Probably the creepiest thing I've had was this imitation sliced steak stuff, but that was external to a restaurant.

And I would support mockmeat for people who dislike agribusiness and want to still have the taste.
<Dudicon> i would but you're too fat to fit in my mouth!!

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Post by linguoboy »

Space Dracula wrote:Oddly there's a Chinese restaurant in Tulsa that does the same. Their food is pretty good, but I still dislike the creepiness of the mockmeat. Probably the creepiest thing I've had was this imitation sliced steak stuff, but that was external to a restaurant.
Nothing odd about it; the Chinese have a tradition of preparing mockmeat that goes back at least to the introduction of Buddhism over 2000 years ago. That's why when I want vegetarian food, I eat Chinese or Indian. They have a longer refined vegetarian tradition than the West and I won't be encouraged to make unflattering comparisons of meatless versions to the original dishes.

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Post by Rory »

Salmoneus wrote:
Rory wrote: Soy Sauce and Worcestershire Sauce - these two buddies don't go well together
HERESY!!!!
Well, sometimes they'll go well. Like making a stirfry, you throw in the soy sauce while cooking, and then throw the worcestershire sauce in when serving.


Okay, as per Radius's request, I'll post some recipes, with very vauge, erm, everything.

Rory's Scottish Broth
This is my broth because it involves a good deal of variation from the standard Scotch Broth.

Let's see... You'll need:
Around 2 litres of stock
Around 500g of lentil-type stuff
An onion
A few cloves of garlic
Some herbs
Salt


Start with about 2 litres of stock (vegetable or chicken, it's all good)
Add about 500g of lentils of various types (this is where you can get creative, and add peas, chopped up celery, small beans, etc).
Add an onion (diced)
Add a clove or two of garlic
Bring to the boil and then simmer for, say, half an hour.
Now we add the herbs. I'd recommend oregano, coriander, tumeric (yes, really), ginger, and a touch of salt (but not too much, most of us have enough sodium in our diet as is).
Simmer for another half hour or so, then taste it. Hopefully it should be a rich, thick, gruel-like broth. Serve hot.
The leftovers can be frozen or kept in your fridge for a good while.

Honeyed Mackerel

Grab the mackerel by the horns.
Subdue it.
Kill it quickly with the sword of your forefathers.

Er, wrong recipe.

For this you will need:
Sides of mackerel
Honey
Ginger
A green salad (with plenty of, say, spinach or rocket)


This is quite simple.
Glaze the side of mackerel with the honey
Then sprinkle ginger on it (although, if, like me, you have part of a ginger root (rather than that fancy ground ginger you buy in shops), it's more of a "spreading" or "distributing" motion than a "sprinkling" one)
Put them in a grill at medium heat, you don't need to turn them over, cook them until it can be easily cut with a fork (usually 10-15 mins).
Serve with salad.

Easy Noodles
You need:
Noodles
Worcestershire sauce
Cheese


Cook noodles.
Add sauce.
Add grated cheese.
Eat.

Rory's Pasta Sauce
You need:
A tin of chopped or pureed tomatoes
Bread (preferably brown)
An apple
A clove of garlic
An onion


So, you put some oil in your pot and start cooking the (diced) onion and (diced) apple.
When they're nearly done (they'll be sorta see-through), add the chopped garlic glove.
Give that a minute or so and then add the tomatoes. If there is still some tomatoness left inside the tin, fill it halfway with water and then empty it into the pot - that way you get all the tomatoey goodness.
Bring to the boil and them simmer for 10 minutes.
Add some little bits of bread - this makes the sauce that much more filling.
Simmer until it has a nice sauce consistency.
Serve with pasta (that's why it's called pasta sauce).

More Pasta Madness
Pasta
Baked Beans
A tin of tuna
Cheese
The sauce of your preference (either soy or worcestershire)


Okay, so cook some pasta.
At the same time, heat up the baked beans.
When the pasta is ready, drain it, and then put it back in the pot on the hob.
Quickly add the baked beans into the same pot
Add the tuna also
Mix it up a bit
Leave it for a minute or so - just long enough for the pasta on the bottom to become nice and crispy, but not long enough for the pasta to stick to the pot.
Serve, add grated cheese and sauce.



Okay, that's all my recipes for now, I really need to go and study.
The man of science is perceiving and endowed with vision whereas he who is ignorant and neglectful of this development is blind. The investigating mind is attentive, alive; the mind callous and indifferent is deaf and dead. - 'Abdu'l-Bahá

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Post by Gulliver »

Gulliver's Unusual Yet Badass Chocolate Cake


Ingredients:
• 325ml self-raising flour (plain works too, it's just somewhat flatter)
• 250ml sugar (brown or white, or basically anything other than icing sugar)
• 250ml coconut milk (you can get it powdered)
• 60ml oil (ground nut, sunflower or vegetable oil)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2-5 generous tablespoons of cocoa powder, depending on how chocolaty you want it
• A generous handful of glacé cherries, the same of mixed nuts and then raisins, apricot, whatever.
• Half a teaspoon of chilli powder
• 1 tsp cider vinegar

Other things:
• Measuring jug, to measure things in.
• Casserole dish or flattish cake tin (the kind you make brownies in).
• A big spoon.


1. Preheat the oven to 190. Unless you have a fan oven, go and do
something else while it heats up. This cake can be made in about one
minute flat.
2. Line a flattish dish with foil or something. You can use it
unlined, but it sticks. Greasing the tray seems to have absolutely no
effect.
3. In the dish, pour all the dry things and mix them around until it looks even.
4. Add the coconut milk and the oil and stir everything around until you lose interest.
5. Add the vinegar and stir enthusiastically.
6. Put it in the oven for about half an hour, or longer if needed
(usually longer).
7. Leave to cool and eat gleefully.



Gulliver's Orgasmic Cookies

Ingredients:
• 4 big spoonfulls of flour.
• 2 big spoonfulls of cocoa powder.
• 2 really big spoonfulls of margerine.
• Half a little spoon if chilli powder.

Instructions:
1. Mix until it begins to resemble faeces (takes about a minute until the fat is evenly absorbed).
2. Roll into little balls, that also resemble faeces.
3. Put on greasy tray.
4. Put in oven on... erm... normal? I just turn the knob to the same position whenever I cook anything.
5. After 10-20 minutes, decide they are cooked.
6. When cook enough, take pff tray and put in refridgeration device.
7. Eat, preferably with red wine in front of cartoons.



Oh, and both recipes are vegan, because butter is repulsive and should not be allowed near food, and egg should not be part of any cake unless merangue.

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Post by Radius Solis »

Gulliver wrote:Oh, and both recipes are vegan, because butter is repulsive and should not be allowed near food, and egg should not be part of any cake unless merangue.

Then what would you suggest for me, since I have been utterly forbidden by my doctor to consume margarine or any other form of trans-fat or "partially hydrogenated oils" in even trace quantities? (And let me tell you, margarine does not have merely "trace quantities" of it... margarine is made of trans-fat) I always use real butter, because given a certain genetic blood-lipid disorder that I have, trans-fat is very evil on my system, and every tablespoon of margarine increases my long-term health risk from it. Presumably I can use butter instead, you just don't personally happen to like the idea...

Nevertheless, your cookie recipe sounds good, and I will try it. With butter, sorry. :)

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Post by Rory »

Ugh, hydrogenated oils. Avoid them like the plague. The body can't metabolise them, so they just sit in your liver, getting in the way.
The man of science is perceiving and endowed with vision whereas he who is ignorant and neglectful of this development is blind. The investigating mind is attentive, alive; the mind callous and indifferent is deaf and dead. - 'Abdu'l-Bahá

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Post by Junes »

I've made a vegetarian adaptation of Dewrad's sauce (added leek, zucchini and mockmeat - even though he doesn't like it :mrgreen:) and it was absolutely delicious. The cinnamon surprised me but it proved to be an essential ingredient.

Perfect seduction meal.

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Post by Corumayas »

Dewrad wrote:
Corumayas wrote:(this is "white sauce" or béchamel)
Strictly speaking, it's just white sauce, not Béchamel. Sauce Béchamel is technically made with milk which has first been heated with onion and cloves in it and then strained, and it should also lack mustard.

But your mother's recipe is similar to how I make the dish myself, although I tend to use three cheeses- emmenthal and parmesan for the sauce and a layer of mozzarella to brown on top.
Either there's more than one way to make sauce béchamel, or my cookbooks lied to me. :?

(Actually it wouldn't surprise me if the latter were true. Your recipe sounds more French, with the insistence on straining everything out of the sauce. Why not leave the onion and cloves in?)

Anyway, I'll have to try your three-cheese version... though I may substitute jarlsberg for the emmenthaler, which is hard to find around here for some reason.
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Post by Gulliver »

Radius Solis wrote:Nevertheless, your cookie recipe sounds good, and I will try it. With butter, sorry. :)
It will work, just with a butterier taste.

For the love of all that is good and vibrates use unsalted butter, I beg of thee!

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Post by Tengado »

Gulliver wrote:Gulliver's Unusual Yet Badass Chocolate Cake
Tengado' interest is peaked in what might be unsual in the cake.
• 250ml coconut milk (you can get it powdered)
Interesting, but not too unusual. Tengado would be disappointed if this were it.
• Half a teaspoon of chilli powder
• 1 tsp cider vinegar
Tengado spits beer all over his computer. WTF?!

That is really bizarre. Why? Is it an Aztec or Mayan cake? They used to put chilli in with the chocolate.
4. Put in oven on... erm... normal? I just turn the knob to the same position whenever I cook anything.
Haaaaaaa :)
7. Eat, preferably with red wine in front of cartoons.
Marry me.
because butter is repulsive and should not be allowed near food,
Ok, the offer is withdrawn. Lurpak is awesome!
and egg should not be part of any cake unless merangue.
It's meringue.

I remember this after going to a posh restaurant with my grandmother and us all giggling when she asked the waiter for the lemon mering-gyoo [mErINgju:]
- "But this can be stopped."
- "No, I came all this way to show you this because nothing can be done. Because I like the way your pupils dilate in the presence of total planetary Armageddon.
Yes, it can be stopped."

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Post by alice »

Tengado wrote:I remember this after going to a posh restaurant with my grandmother and us all giggling when she asked the waiter for the lemon mering-gyoo [mErINgju:]
Why is this funny? That's how I pronounce it.
Zompist's Markov generator wrote:it was labelled" orange marmalade," but that is unutterably hideous.

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valinta
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Post by valinta »

Cooking is awesome. I'll definitely try out some of these.

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Post by Rory »

bricka wrote:
Tengado wrote:I remember this after going to a posh restaurant with my grandmother and us all giggling when she asked the waiter for the lemon mering-gyoo [mErINgju:]
Why is this funny? That's how I pronounce it.
I say /mEraN/, as do all people I know. My mum sometimes jokingly calls it /mErINgu/, as she does with gazebo /gezbo/.
The man of science is perceiving and endowed with vision whereas he who is ignorant and neglectful of this development is blind. The investigating mind is attentive, alive; the mind callous and indifferent is deaf and dead. - 'Abdu'l-Bahá

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