Confusing headlines and other trips down the garden path

[Thry]

So already pedantic at 12.

How adorable :p

[Kereb]

Federal government websites back up after cyberattack

[Bristel]

"Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms"

You're just being jealous she's not linked to your crash blossoms!


JAL

*shakes fist angrily*

I think Crash Blossoms would make for a great Alternative band name.

[Shm Jay]

Thread Name Change Vexes Dotty Mod

Thread Block Name Change Jig Fad Vexes Dotty Quiz Mod, Pow!

[Qwynegold]

Yay, thanks for the name change!

And here I was hoping for "Whatever makes it more obvious what this thread is about".

I feared a mod or the threadstarter would take it like that. >_< That's why I put the period there so as to not have the non-name suggestion part together with the suggested name.

[Thry]

EXCLUSIVE: Tear off the white hood - Obama wants KKK to be forced to name its members and supporters after Charleston church massacre

[Salmoneus]

EXCLUSIVE: Tear off the white hood - Obama wants KKK to be forced to name its members and supporters after Charleston church massacre

...I don't get it?

[alynnidalar]

Interpretation #1: As a result of the Charleston church massacre, Tucker wants the KKK to be forced to release a list of names of its members and supporters.

Interpretation #2: Tucker wants the KKK to be forced to name their members and supporters after the Charleston church massacre.

If you read it as "KKK to be forced to name its members and supporters, after (temporally) Charleston church massacre", that's #1 (what I assume is the correct intepretation). If you read it as the verb "name after", as in give a name to someone based on something else, that's #2.

[Thry]

Yeah I initially didn't get and I was like "are they gonna enforce a naming policy on the members as Charleston blabla in legal documents? As the names of the victims of the Charleston shooting? [and vividly imagined 'black names' in old dudes]", then I realized it was a temporal after.

[Salmoneus]

Oh! Sorry, forgot about "name after" - probably because there's such a big gap between 'name' and 'after' there.

[Terra]

"Wrestling coach says she was told she can't have baby on Fargodome floor, officials cite safety concerns" -- http://www.inforum.com/sports/3801448-w ... cials-cite

I pondered for a moment why somebody would want to give birth in the middle of a stadium, and came up with no good reason.

[jal]

I pondered for a moment why somebody would want to give birth in the middle of a stadium, and came up with no good reason.

Or, why her obgyn tells her in the middle of a stadium she's infertile.


JAL

[linguoboy]

"Yesterday I couldn't save one bib record." (My employee to me on her problems with the new system at work.)

[Salmoneus]

Two BBC headlines:

Van strapped in car boot on tow - OK, not their fault entirely, it's hard to describe that one line
Croatia deducted point for swastika - The croatian judge felt that the pair's swastika just wasn't as good as it might have been

And on a more macabre note, from an article:
IS's targeting of gay people is supported by many who oppose the group says one man who fled Syria - this makes perfect sense, and I wouldn't have blinked twice if they'd put the comma where it ought to be. But without the comma, I found myself led up a garden path.

Oh, and:
Spain ends marriage for 14-year-olds - that seems a big step to take, abolishing marriage just because some 14-year-olds asked you to!

[Salmoneus]

Riders not just wearing ice-vests to warm up, but also on their way to the start. It's that hot.

[jal]

Riders not just wearing ice-vests to warm up, but also on their way to the start. It's that hot.

Heheh, ice-vests to warm up... Wouldn't that just be a typo though, for warm-up?


JAL

[linguoboy]

Obama administration targets trade in African elephant ivory

[linguoboy]

More of an eggcorn than a garden-path, but it still comes from the Beeb:

Often the slag continued to combust quietly over the years, which ultimately created a soil which - while not exactly rich - contains fertile elements.

I assume Jammet actually said "compost" but the French accent on his English caused the reporter to hear something else.

[Salmoneus]

More of an eggcorn than a garden-path, but it still comes from the Beeb:

Often the slag continued to combust quietly over the years, which ultimately created a soil which - while not exactly rich - contains fertile elements.

I assume Jammet actually said "compost" but the French accent on his English caused the reporter to hear something else.

Actually, he probably means 'combust'. Slag doesn't compost (it's not organic), but it probably does spontaneously combust at a low level (the inside of the slag heap will be very hot), and combustion yields ash, containing fertile element.

To me the amusing thing there is just the use of the word 'slag', which normally refers to a person rather than a substance...


Anyway, two things I've seen:
Cecil the lion killer is a good man - can't read that without thinking that the lion killer is called cecil
Janner summoned to court for hearing over 15 child abuse allegations - surely prosecuting a man just for hearing allegations is a little harsh, no matter how many there are...

[hwhatting]

Janner summoned to court for hearing over 15 child abuse allegations - surely prosecuting a man just for hearing allegations is a little harsh, no matter how many there are...

Probably because he heard them and didn't do anything aboout them?

[Salmoneus]

Janner summoned to court for hearing over 15 child abuse allegations - surely prosecuting a man just for hearing allegations is a little harsh, no matter how many there are...

Probably because he heard them and didn't do anything aboout them?

But then it wouldn't be the hearing that he was in court for!

[Actually, he's in court for abusing children. "For" here is a preposition of purpose rather than of identification, "hearing" here is a noun rather than a participle, and "over" here has scope including up to 'allegations', rather than only up to '15', so it's a big syntactic feghoot really...]

[To clarify, Janner, a former lawyer/politician, has been accused of child abuse. The catches are that a) it was a long, long time ago, and b) he's got dementia and can't meaningfully defend himself. Since he can't realistically be convicted (it's hard enough to prove a 'he said she said' beyond reasonable doubt - to do so when one party can't testify to give their side of the story is virtually impossible, one would think), he wasn't prosecuted. Since he's a politician, and the public know that all politicians are an evil conspiracy of paedophiles, he is now being 'prosecuted'. But he isn't on trial - instead, he will be in court for a 'hearing' to decide whether there's any point having a trial. His lawyers had argued that, given that he's unable to understand what a courtroom is anymore, but is likely to be distressed by being taken to a court, stared at by lots of people, handcuffed, put in a box, etc, when he doesn't understand what's going on, he shouldn't have to be physically present even at the hearing. But the judge ruled that he had to turn up at court for at least an instant, but that he could then immediately leave if he wanted to.]

[hwhatting]

Old pedophilia cases seem to be the latest fad in the UK these days...

[Salmoneus]

They combine the national obsessions with paedophilia, the evilness and worthlessness of celebrities, the global conspiracy, and gossiping about celebrities.

[jmcd]

Seen in the news: "procureur de la République de Rennes" It seems Rennes declared an independent republic but it's actually that 'procureur de la république' is a French title and there's specific one for Rennes.

[sirdanilot]

Thats a dumb one cause such things happen all of the time.

As with Commissaris van de Koningin van Zeeland (commissary of the Queen of Zeeland) which makes it sounds like Zeeland has a queen, but Commissaris van de Koningin is just a certain function in the provincial governments in the Netherlands.