zompist bboard

Just saw a headline that read "Michele Bachmann asked to drop out of race," which could either mean [in newspaperspeak] that she herself asked to drop out of the race, or that someone asked her to.

On closer inspection, you would conclude it's the latter, since if she herself asked to drop out of the race, the headline would read "Michele Bachmann asks" in the present tense, unless they were reporting on a race that occurred years ago. But I do find the dropping of the passive auxiliary quite funny, since with weak verbs, it just looks like active past tense.

Lesbian vampire killer set to be released from jail

This was especially confusing after I clicked the link I saw the extended headline: Lesbian vampire killer who 'lured a man with promise of sex' before killing him....

Is she a lesbian who killed a guy who she thought was a vampire?

Is she a lesbian vampire who killed a guy (in which case, how is she lesbian if she killed him via promising sex)?

Is she a killer who kills lesbian vampires? (but... she killed a man, not a woman)

I had this same problem with the movie "Lesbian Vampire Killers". And believe me, that movie would have been 100 times better if it were lesbians who killed vampires rather than men who killed lesbian vampires.

Goldman Stunned by Op-Ed Loses $2.2 Billion for Shareholders

It looks to me like the editor changed his mind in mid-headline and then didn't go back and fix the beginning.

bulbaquil wrote:

Bob Johnson wrote:Report on Wyoming water doesn't end fracking debate

just end the fracking debate already

Every time I read an article on fracking, I think along these lines.

Romney: $10G Bet is 'Outrageous' Sum for 'Outrageous' Claim." (yes, it's Fox News.)

Misinterpreted the G as meaning "giga-" rather than "grand", and was like "Well, yeah, a $10 billion bet is a bit outrageous - the only people with that kind of money are the 1% of the 1%, and probably another iteration or two beyond that."

Who uses G after a number? Don't most people say 10K for $10,000. What K stands for I have no idea.

Viktor77 wrote:Who uses G after a number? Don't most people say 10K for $10,000. What K stands for I have no idea.

kilo

Viktor, meet the metric system; metric system, Viktor.

Police court order Dotwrong

I'd like to buy a verb, please?

linguoboy wrote:Viktor, meet the metric system; metric system, Viktor.

Viktor’s next vacation needs to be in his neighbours to the north, or in his case, east.

Viktor has a creepy avatar.

I saw this today on someone's jacket: "World police & fire games", which I first thought was like "[World police] & [fire games]", though it was supposed to be "World [police & fire] games". (I hope I've used the brackets right.)

The actual headline was:

"Strawberry" Leopard Discovered—A First

However, on Fark.com, the headline was posted as:

Strawberry leopards forever


I was wondering how on earth a stawberry can 'leopard' something, until I realized that the structure was ADJ-NOUN-ADV and not NOUN-VERB-ADV

Shm Jay wrote:

linguoboy wrote:Viktor, meet the metric system; metric system, Viktor.

Viktor’s next vacation needs to be in his neighbours to the north, or in his case, east.

Hey, I'm going to Banff so you can't say anything.

Qwynegold wrote:Viktor has a creepy avatar.

It's a demented puppy.

Am I the only one who finds this headline particularly difficult to read?

Analysis: China currency move nails hard landing risk coffin.

We can relax now that the hard landing risk coffin has been nailed.

I saw an add for some extermination service depicting an oversized insect with the caption "He can eat more than your 16-year-old." However, instead of "He can eat more than your 16-year-old [can eat]", my first thought was "He can more things in addition to eating your 16-year-old." I was quite impressed with this bug until I figured out my mistake.

I thought that too.

Asian markets drop on Spain ratings cut

Jashan wrote:I had this same problem with the movie "Lesbian Vampire Killers". And believe me, that movie would have been 100 times better if it were lesbians who killed vampires rather than men who killed lesbian vampires.

I have that problem with a German TV series whose precise German name I can't think of but is something like: "Name und ihre Moerder", which always makes me feel as though the person in the title is the murderer.

Declan wrote:

Jashan wrote:I had this same problem with the movie "Lesbian Vampire Killers". And believe me, that movie would have been 100 times better if it were lesbians who killed vampires rather than men who killed lesbian vampires.

I have that problem with a German TV series whose precise German name I can't think of but is something like: "Name und ihre Moerder", which always makes me feel as though the person in the title is the murderer.

Adelheid. I've always had the same problem.

Avo wrote:Adelheid. I've always had the same problem.

Funny, that doesn't look right. I even looked it up beforehand in Google and found that, but didn't believe myself. Must be that then!

Yesterday I saw a "Men raped more than women in the US". I actually don't know whether they meant that men are more often rape victims than women, or that rapists are more often men than women.

"Men raped more than women in the US"

What I saw first was... "Men (have) raped more than (just) women in the US".

treegod wrote:"Men raped more than women in the US"

What I saw first was... "Men (have) raped more than (just) women in the US".

I assumed it was "Men (are) raped more than women (are) in the US" because "Men (have) raped more than (just) women in the US" just don't seem surprising enough to be newsworthy.

clawgrip wrote:

treegod wrote:"Men raped more than women in the US"

What I saw first was... "Men (have) raped more than (just) women in the US".

I assumed it was "Men (are) raped more than women (are) in the US" because "Men (have) raped more than (just) women in the US" just don't seem surprising enough to be newsworthy.

Sincerely, gutter mind that I am, I parsed it initially as
Men rapped more than women in the US
as in
men did rap more than women in the US
so there was an unusually low number of female rap singers over there.

Oh, also

Lesbian vampire killer set to be released from jail

The set of a lesbian who killed vampires will be released.

Torco wrote:so there was an unusually low number of female rap singers over there.

Tut, deplorable.

Lesbian vampire killer set to be released from jail

Or "Lesbian vampire killer [collection] to be released from jail."
I hear that Lesbian vampire killer sets are very lucrative on the black market.

oh, right, the kind used to kill vampire lesbians

No, that's the Lesbian vampire killer stake, I'm talking about the Lesbian Vampire Killer Doll-Set.