Venting thread that still excludes eddy (2)

[Salmoneus]

From context, i'm guessing flipflops?

Either that or he's combining fetishes and wearing thongs on his feet...

[linguoboy]

Seriously you people?

thong ‎(plural thongs) 2. (usually in the plural, Australia, US) An item of footwear, usually of rubber, secured by two straps which join to pass between the big toe and its neighbour.

Even when I was a child, I didn't call them "flipflops". I refuse to call them that as a full-grown adult.

Or maybe I should just get over myself and start referring to all my footwear by the sound it makes. So then when I get home, I'll take off my "squeakcreaks" and change into my "slishslashes", unless I'm going out to work in the garden and need my "clompstomps".

[Matrix]

Thongs are underwear and flipflops are stupid. Those are clearly sandals.

[linguoboy]

Thongs are underwear and flipflops are stupid. Those are clearly sandals.

Nope, sandals have straps. I have a pair of those, too.

[Xephyr]

IMO flipflops (and clogs) are subtypes of sandal.

[Rui]

I don't think I've ever heard a native speaker of American English use the word "thongs" as footwear in a context where they weren't making fun of Australian English.

[Travis B.]

I myself have never heard any native NAE-speaker in Real Life use the term thong to describe a type of footware.

[Salmoneus]

Thongs are underwear and flipflops are stupid. Those are clearly sandals.

Nope, sandals have straps. I have a pair of those, too.

While that's a conventional typology, there are now available items that are clearly sandals in intent, despite being structurally flipflops*.

*It'ld never have occurred to me that 'flipflop' might derive from a sound. I'd always assumed the word originally referred to the motion of the footwear (the fact they flip and flop).

[Shm Jay]

Chagen: have your friend take you to a counsellor at the university. This isn't something you can resolve on your own. ZBBers, does anyone live near him who can do this?

[Kereb]

I myself have never heard any native NAE-speaker in Real Life use the term thong to describe a type of footware.

When I was little, that was the only name I knew them by. Right up until about age ten or so when I learned the underwear definition of the word "thong" and the fact that most people only knew it to mean that. I've been calling them flip-flops ever since, because that turned out to be what the whole universe calls them.
And I fucking love the things. I don't care if they're some kind of fashion failure. I hate wearing shoes and I love going barefoot and they are the best way to pretty much be barefoot but still able to walk on anything. I try to get through most of any given summer without wearing proper shoes, and the day each year when I have to switch back from flip flops to shoes is always a sad one.

[pharazon]

Is there an Insider's Secret for how to not have the gap between your two biggest toes basically get sandpapered

[linguoboy]

I myself have never heard any native NAE-speaker in Real Life use the term thong to describe a type of footware.

Not surprising, since there's seldom, if ever, need to refer to them in the singular. Even if I were missing one of a pair, I'd say, "I can't find one of my thongs" rather than "I can't find my thong."

[Shm Jay]

I remember an Archie cartoon that went like this.

Shoe salesman: Would you like a thong?
Jughead: Sure! What thong would you like me to thing?

The art showed it was from the 50s (early 60s at latest),

[Viktor77]

This people taking pictures of themselves with their cats on Facebook thing has got to stop. They're just cats people. There's nothing cute or funny or terribly clever about them.

[jal]

This people taking pictures of themselves with their cats on Facebook thing has got to stop. They're just cats people. There's nothing cute or funny or terribly clever about them.

You fail to understand Vik. It's the cats who are the true overlords. Those people can't help themselves!


JAL

[Imralu]

AAAAH. I'm such a fucking doormat.

I rarely keep any food in the house. I have big fucking issues and I can't stand kitchens and food preparation, and try not to go into the kitchen whenever anyone else is there or can see me. I've been really struggling even leaving my room for most of this year and I've lost weight, will sometimes go for more than a day without eating. I try to make sure I have some food in the house so that I can eat something when I can't leave. Ideally I should leave the house every day, of course, but realistically, I don't always make it and having cereal at home means I will at least not go hungry for a whole day. I have a cereal bowl that ends up staying in my room and when no one's around, I go and wash it and eat cereal when I can't face the world.

Just now, after maybe two hours of building up the courage to go into the kitchen, I was washing my bowl and my new flatmate comes out of his room into the kitchen and my mind is racing and I was feeling anxious ... you know, because I'm washing the bowl the wrong way (I know how stupid this sounds) and it's taking me forever, and it makes me really tense if anyone can see me being shit at stuff in the house, especially in the kitchen. Of course, he's a normal fucking person, not my dad, so he doesn't hit me. He doesn't even notice or, if he does, just judges me silently and asks me about what I'm doing today and I try to have the most normal conversation a person who's completely not normal can have. And then hear him pouring a bowl of cereal and I glance over my shoulder and see that it's my cereal. I hadn't even opened the packet yet. I'm fucking poor now, seeing the end of my savings looming, and partly finding it really hard to eat because I'm panicking about money. So, obviously I really don't want him to eat my fucking cereal. So, it occurs to me that the normal thing to do would be to say "Oh, that's mine. Can you please not eat my cereal?" but I feel like I don't have the right to say that. I don't ever eat any of his food, so of course I do. It's my food and he doesn't just have the right to just take from me. But I can't do conflict. I completely freeze and can't say anything at all. Then he left and I poured my own bowl of cereal and came back to my room and now I'm actually crying over this stupid thing. Not about the cereal, but about the fact that this whole tiny stupid thing is so fucking hard for me, and what I'm going to do is just put my cereal in my room from now on. I'm not going to do it right now - it would be too obvious - I'll do it tonight so it's just not there tomorrow, and I have these thoughts like "He'll notice, and he'll hear you pouring cereal in your room and know that you're hiding food rather than having a conversation and he'll know what a fucking weirdo you are." I'm telling myself again and again "It's OK if he knows you're a weirdo. You're going through a rough patch and that's OK, and if he's judgemental, he can get fucked" but I'm crying and this thing that's been happening lately when I cry is happening - I don't know how to describe it but it's like the skin on my lower back is shivering. I'm shaking all over but it feels like more there. Fuck! I can't escape my brain and I fucking hate it so much. This has been one of the worst years of my life. One day, I will read this post when I'm normal and healthy again and this will seem so distant and bizarre, but right now, I'm so completely fucked.

[jal]

right now, I'm so completely fucked.

That sucks. Do you know what causes it?


JAL

[Imralu]

And now I want more cereal, but I obviously can't leave my room because there are tears still coming out of my face.

[Imralu]

right now, I'm so completely fucked.

That sucks. Do you know what causes it?

Depression. Really fucking bad depression caused by finally facing up to my childhood.

[Imralu]

And I'm finding it hard to cry silently now and I'm freaking out that my flatmate has heard me and knows I'm crying over cereal (which I know is completely fucking illogical because he can't read my mind, and I am very quiet) ... and I'm just shaking again and finding it hard to breathe. I need to stop venting and distract myself now.

[jal]

And I'm finding it hard to cry silently now and I'm freaking out that my flatmate has heard me and knows I'm crying over cereal (which I know is completely fucking illogical because he can't read my mind, and I am very quiet) ... and I'm just shaking again and finding it hard to breathe. I need to stop venting and distract myself now.

Agreed. Although in the long term some professional help would probably be in order, perhaps a good long strawl in fresh air or the like would at least for the moment move your thoughts.


JAL

[Imralu]

Agreed. Although in the long term some professional help would probably be in order, perhaps a good long strawl in fresh air or the like would at least for the moment move your thoughts.

Yeah, I definitely need professional help. I'm in a catch 22 though. I can't get it without facing a lot of hard stuff. I need a job for money and for better insurance that will cover mental health because at the moment, I'm still on travel insurance and mental is not covered at all. I either need to get a job or go on welfare in order to get help and both options seem terrifying from my current position and I don't know how to convince a potential employer that I'm a functioning adult when I'm not, and I don't know how to navigate the German welfare system and even thinking about it stresses me out. I have a friend who advises in that sort of thing and I'm seeing her tonight - amongst a whole bunch of other people - so we'll see if I'm brave enough to ask her. I'm a bit freaked out about seeing a whole bunch of people, but it will all be in German sign language and for some reason, I feel like I can cope with that. Using my voice and listening to people feels like too much sometimes.

The best distraction for me is conlanging, youtube videos, masturbation etc. Of course, these are all in my room and I need to get out of the house, but if I force myself out when I'm not ready, I go for a walk and I often find that I'm alone with my thoughts and not much to distract me. I went for a walk the other day that just really got me down, and right when I was feeling horrible, some guy I had been standing near just hurled a tonne of random abuse at me, swearing and saying he was absolutely disgusted with my story and with my friend. None of it made any sense. We hadn't interacted at all but he was obviously projecting someone else onto me - he was completely detached from reality, and I felt fine about it, I didn't feel attacked or anything but five minutes later, I suddenly ended up breaking down and crying and it made me feel scared because I was in public. I've cried in public quite a bit over the last year. I don't care about being ashamed, but I don't want to look vulnerable, especially when there may be crazy people around. I had to climb over a fence and go and sit facing the canal, next to some bushes, so that no one could see my face.

[jal]

Yeah, I definitely need professional help. I'm in a catch 22 though.

I recall you explaining that before, it's indeed a rotten situation.

I went for a walk the other day that just really got me down, and right when I was feeling horrible, some guy I had been standing near just hurled a tonne of random abuse at me, swearing and saying he was absolutely disgusted with my story and with my friend. None of it made any sense.

Just a random guy? Man...

Well, I hope your friend can help you out. It really sucks knowing what to do, but being unable to do it.


JAL

[Viktor77]

Imralu, does any of your anxiety have to do with using the language? I can commiserate if it does because I still find myself incredibly nervous to do entirely ordinary tasks because of the language and so I put them off. But eventually I told myself it's doing no good worrying about what others will think and that I just have to do it. I know that with a group of friends at the bar it's going to be very difficult for me and they might even poke fun at me for not understanding stuff, but I just have to do it because if I don't, I'll have wasted my time here.

Anyway wishing you the best. Don't know if that helped any.

[Imralu]

Just a random guy? Man...

Yeah. It was completely random. I went for a walk to kill time and decided not to walk further than the Landwehrkanal, so I stood on the bridge, looking along the canal, feeling completely horrible. There was a guy standing about five metres away and when I walked back past him he turned to me and just started shouting. All I really remember him saying now was bla bla bla " [...]die Geschichte mit dir und deinem Freund. [...] GRAUSIG IST DAS! [...] VERPISS DICH!"

Well, I hope your friend can help you out. It really sucks knowing what to do, but being unable to do it.

I'm going to go and see her at her Beratungsstelle on Tuesday.

Imralu, does any of your anxiety have to do with using the language?

Sometimes a little bit. I don't feel I can really fire back at people quickly in German, but then it's also not one of my strengths in English either, and actually, I didn't feel that nervous about it until I got depression and started just generally not coping with anything. The first part of the conversation today with my flatmate was in English and it ended in German and I don't know when we switched to German or who led it. I find talking in German a lot less emotionally overwhelming than English a lot of the time

I can commiserate if it does because I still find myself incredibly nervous to do entirely ordinary tasks because of the language and so I put them off. But eventually I told myself it's doing no good worrying about what others will think and that I just have to do it. I know that with a group of friends at the bar it's going to be very difficult for me and they might even poke fun at me for not understanding stuff, but I just have to do it because if I don't, I'll have wasted my time here.

Are you normally a perfectionist? Are you worried about making mistakes like saying la when it should be le? In my case, I have quite a good accent when I speak German, and on a good day, people don't realise I'm a foreigner and it's kind of hard to break that and make a mistake because people wonder what's wrong with you. I've had people think I'm stupid because I don't have a bit of cultural knowledge. A while ago, I randomly got a nose bleed while leaving the old airport at Tempelhof (which is now a massive park) and I had no tissues and there was no tap. I was staring up at the sky and had hands and moustache covered in blood. A young couple came over to me to see if I was alright and I explained it was just a nose bleed and then they offered me a Tempo and I was like What's that? They looked confused and then said it's a tissue and I was like "Oh, I'm a foreigner," which took them by surprise. Sometimes I find myself looking up a word before I order something or pay at a supermarket because I don't want to say einen when it should be ein etc. It suddenly occurred to me one day, that I have a right to speak German as badly or as I can. If anyone ever laughs at a mistake I make in German, I'm going to be like "Yeah, well, I'm a foreigner. Have you got a problem with that? Are you are nazi?"

Anyway wishing you the best. Don't know if that helped any.

Thanks!

And now I'm sending this without rereadiing because I'm so tired.