Magnificent names of the past

[Viktor77]

If you ever research genealogy or other areas along those lines you often run across unbelievably magnificent and quite frankly bad ass names. Full names are best.

I'll start.

Cyrenius Adelbert Newcomb


Other languages are welcome, too.

[clawgrip]

Ancient Japanese emperors had some pretty good personal names in the past. These days they all just have short names usually ending in -hito, e.g. Akihito, Hirohito, Yoshihito, Mutsuhito. But in the past there were some pretty awesome ones, like Yamato Tarashihiko Kunioshi Hito no Mikoto, Amekuni Oshiharuki Hironiwa no Sumera Mikoto, and Shiraka Takehiro Kuni Oshi Waka Yamato Neko no Mikoto.

[Gulliver]

Octavia Hill

Isambard Kingdom Brunel

There's a politician here called Lord Adonis, which sounds like a drag king.

[Nortaneous]

Praise-God Barebone and his son Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebon

Paracelsus' real name was Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim

[Hallow XIII]

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

[Salmoneus]

As I said last time we did this: Hugh Caswall Tremenheere Dowding.


If you want stupid names, then Roman Emperors, of course. Gothicus' full name (which he gave himself, obviously), was Caesar Marcus Aurelius Valerius Claudius Pius Felix Invictus Augustus Pontifex Maximus Germanicus Maximus Gothicus Maximus.
He wanted everone to know he was really, REALLY maximus.
(Generally longer names meant shitter Emperors. Theodosius the Great was plain old 'Flavius Theodosius Augustus')

[gach]

Hugely long names are ridiculous in their own way but I much prefer names which have silly or unfortunate meanings. An old family acquaintance claims that during the 40's or 50's she once spotted the name Hellä Alapää in a phone book. This name translates into English as "tender bottom". A modern and very famous example is the surname Puukko-Ahmed which is held by one Finnish psychiatrist. It's very clearly a compound name due to marriage. But even still it's just about the most perfect pirate name you can get, since puukko not only means a knife but a knife perfectly suited for a bandit. A further attested example of a full name (first name + surname) with an interesting additional meaning is Sirkka Lehti meaning cotyledon.

[Viktor77]

Long names are fun.

My awesome names come from the 19th century, so they aren't long, but I still like them. What I like about them is that you could probably still name a child these names today, so long as you're content being called a hipster.

Philo Parsons

Hazen S. Pingree

Also, the verdict's still out on how you pronounce Cyrenius.

[Gulliver]

Praise-God Barebone and his son Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebon

Paracelsus' real name was Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim

I was really trying to think of some of those massive God-Be-Vengeful names, but couldn't find any. Excellently done!

[Radius Solis]

Somewhere I have a book called Remarkable Names of Real People (by John Train), with, going by memory here, such entries as:

- The aforementioned Nicholas blah-blah Barebones
- Immaculate Conception Finkelstein
- Lotta Crap, whose father owns the Crap Bakery
- Abderazzaq S. Abdulhafafeeth
- Ophelia Bumps; there was apparently also an Ophelia Tittey
- Ingeborg von Zitzewitz
- Dr. and Dr. Doctor (one medical doctor married another)
- Humperdink Fangboner
- Mrs. Somchittindepata

I'll see if I can dig up the book. There was way, way more than this.

[Radius Solis]

...Found it. That was fast. It turns out I'd misremembered the book; what I actually have is the sequel, which is called Even More Remarkable Names.

At any rate:

- Comfort and Satisfy Bottom (twin sisters)
- Anil G. Shitole
- Pupo Shytti, former vice president of Albania

...but enough of the bathroom humor. You wanted "magnificent" names.

- Christ T. Seraphim
- Rev. Cornelius Whur (a trashy poet)
- E. Pluribus Eubanks
- Rev. Fountain Wetmore Rainwater
- Ilona Schrek-Purola
- John Hodge Opera House Centennial Gargling Oil Samuel J. Tilden Ten Brook (named in honor of a bunch of things)
- Aldeberontophoscophonia Smith
- Lobelia Rugtwit Hildebiddle
- Oldmouse Waltz

[Xephyr]

Fearful Jesuit

[Viktor77]

...Found it. That was fast. It turns out I'd misremembered the book; what I actually have is the sequel, which is called Even More Remarkable Names.

At any rate:

- Comfort and Satisfy Bottom (twin sisters)
- Anil G. Shitole
- Pupo Shytti, former vice president of Albania

...but enough of the bathroom humor. You wanted "magnificent" names.

- Christ T. Seraphim
- Rev. Cornelius Whur (a trashy poet)
- E. Pluribus Eubanks
- Rev. Fountain Wetmore Rainwater
- Ilona Schrek-Purola
- John Hodge Opera House Centennial Gargling Oil Samuel J. Tilden Ten Brook (named in honor of a bunch of things)
- Aldeberontophoscophonia Smith
- Lobelia Rugtwit Hildebiddle
- Oldmouse Waltz

Where on Earth did you find such a book? And how does this guy find these names, combing through old records? Sometimes I wonder how these people went through life with some of these names.

[din]

I once had a customer called Bertillia Flim. Her name sounds like it belongs to a Harry Potter character.

Dealing with customers is great if you enjoy collecting strange names, like ms Liklikwatil, ms Kwakman and mr Rebel. Also a guy whose first name was Quarles.

And then there are wonderful Dutch names like mr De Wegwijzer, which is Dutch for 'the signpost', and ms Komkommer (cucumber), mr De Dood (death), ms Ramp (disaster), mr Hebbes (gotcha), mr Kaasjager (cheese hunter), mr De Wekker (the alarm clock), ms Kandelaar (chandelier), mr Ringringoeloe, ms Te Water - Van de Baan (into the water - off the track), ms Zwaantje van de Water (first and last name, little swan of the water) and many, many more.

Of course I should also mention the ironic ms Moustach, who mailed us to inform us to update our records after her sex change (male to female).

But none of those are really 'magnificent'. Except maybe Bertillia Flim.

[Viktor77]

But none of those are really 'magnificent'. Except maybe Bertillia Flim.

Apparently there are people who name their children Narcissa, and this is before Harry Potter went viral, but not too much before. That's a bad ass name, like Bertillia, and many others mentioned here, like Tremenheere in Sal's name.

And Flavius, Flavius is just a magnificent name, especially Flavius Theodosius Augustus.

BTW Din, I was reading about some magnificent old names earlier and it said, Used in: Dutch countries, like Adelbert.

[Salmoneus]

If you want stupid names rather than great ones, just check out the annual world's stupidest name competition, or whatever it's called.

[Viktor77]

If you want stupid names rather than great ones, just check out the annual world's stupidest name competition, or whatever it's called.

No, no, I want great names. Did I not name great names? I think Narcissa is a great name, especially if paired with an equally magnificent surname/middle name(s).

[Izambri]

Henry Douglas of Borg

[Izambri]

No, really, One I find really appealing is Franz Ferdinand. It's very euphonic.

[Nortaneous]

Sataporn Pornpromlikit

[Brel]

I feel like women are being slighted in this (understandable, since men get the best names)

Minnie Mabel Lee Bowles

is that not the perfect little old lady name

EDIT: also, my ancestors decided to name their five daughters Ada, Eda, Ida, Oda, and Uda. Not making this up.

[Viktor77]

EDIT: also, my ancestors decided to name their five daughters Ada, Eda, Ida, Oda, and Uda. Not making this up.

That's just plain crazy. I wonder if they planned their pregnancies to stop after the 5 vowels....

[Kereb]

achewood did a thing on this

[Hallow XIII]

EDIT: also, my ancestors decided to name their five daughters Ada, Eda, Ida, Oda, and Uda. Not making this up.

That's just plain crazy. I wonder if they planned their pregnancies to stop after the 5 vowels....

Even if not, why stop there? There are still Äda [ˈæda], Öda [ˈøda], Üda [ˈyda], Yda [ˈəda]... The list goes on!

[Shm Jay]

Don't forget Åda and Wda. Did the five girls marry five brothers named Arthur, Bartholomew, Charlton, Darton, and Francis? They would have been known to all as Art, Bart, Chart, Dart, and Fart.