Terrible attempts by English speakers at foreign tongues

[Skomakar'n]

We all know how amusing this can get. I would especially appreciate things from actual movies or TV series. Here's a Swedish attempt in a movie. Wonderfully horrible.

[Rui]

X-Men: First Class. Listening to Kevin Bacon attempt to speak German was painful. Michael Fassbender's was okay. From what I've heard, his French was awful, though.

[Bob Johnson]

[kəˈmiːkoʊ] <kimiko> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwrf8loXceA
[səˈkʲjʉː.ɹə] <sakura> (no video for this one sorry)
etc

And of course, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

[Xephyr]

Michael Fassbender's [Geraman] was okay.

It's his co-native language, so I would certainly hope it was more than "okay".

[Rui]

It's his co-native language, so I would certainly hope it was more than "okay".

Really? He definitely sounded like he had at least some experience with the language, but it certainly did not sound native

[Skomakar'n]

[kəˈmiːkoʊ] <kimiko> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwrf8loXceA
[səˈkʲjʉː.ɹə] <sakura> (no video for this one sorry)
etc

And of course, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

What's the joke? I can hear 'Wenn...' something and a 'Ja!'...

[Magb]

Some "Norwegian" from an X-Files episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDe0xQN1XSE

[Skomakar'n]

Some "Norwegian" from an X-Files episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDe0xQN1XSE

Og hvorfor tror du de eidedodidei?!

[Bob Johnson]

What's the joke? I can hear 'Wenn...' something and a 'Ja!'...

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Or so saith ye wiki. I always thought it was Nunstrück due to some affrication on the <t>. Their accents are rather terrific. (read: terrifying)

[jal]

I recall some Dutch spoken by some Hollywood actress in some movie, but I cannot recall which one (or who the acress was)... It was quite bad.


JAL

[Declan]

It's his co-native language, so I would certainly hope it was more than "okay".

Really? He definitely sounded like he had at least some experience with the language, but it certainly did not sound native

Well his parents were German, but he grew up in Ireland in Kerry. Though from the reactions I've gotten from Germans to his accent, he mustn't have spoken must German with his parents.

[Mr. Z]

Well, it's not English speakers, but the other day my brother was watching NCIS, and there was a part with Israeli Mossad agents. He, of course, immediately realized they weren't Israeli at all, but rather they were Hispanic. I now heard Ziva speak Hebrew on Youtube, too, and she had a horrible accent, devoicing our precious rhotic and stuff. But since it's for American viewers, nobody cares XD
Ziva speaking Hebrew

[Viktor77]

Most of the students in my Spanish classes. Now I understand students in 300 and 400 level classes haven't mastered Spanish phonetics and even I admit I have problems, for example tripping up on words with many syllables (though admittedly I hear natives do this too, and especially those who learned to speak but not read Spanish), but my classmates, the horror! They voice their <z>'s, they aspirate their <h>'s, they sometimes don't roll their <r>'s, they make no attempt at [D], and the worst offense, the most heinous thing of all is inserting the English [aI] in words like idea or sociedad. My French classmates sometimes do this too for what must be the same reason.

[linguoboy]

I recall some Dutch spoken by some Hollywood actress in some movie, but I cannot recall which one (or who the acress was)... It was quite bad.

Meg Ryan in Prelude to a Kiss?

X-Files has a lot to answer for. There was one episode with a serial killer who spoke German ("It's the official language of psychopaths," my ex's daughter explained), naturally quite badly. And the episode on the chupacabras (besides making the usual mistake of treating this as a plural and backforming *chupacabra) featured an Indo-Canadian playing a Hispanic migrant worker in California. Hoo boy that was some shitty Spanish.

Really, wouldn't it be easier to talk about good foreign language pronunciation in media? We'd actually have some chance of enumerating all those instances!

[Ziz]

Most of the students in my Spanish classes. Now I understand students in 300 and 400 level classes haven't mastered Spanish phonetics and even I admit I have problems, for example tripping up on words with many syllables (though admittedly I hear natives do this too, and especially those who learned to speak but not read Spanish), but my classmates, the horror! They voice their <z>'s, they aspirate their <h>'s, they sometimes don't roll their <r>'s, they make no attempt at [D], and the worst offense, the most heinous thing of all is inserting the English [aI] in words like idea or sociedad. My French classmates sometimes do this too for what must be the same reason.

A friend of mine and I have noticed that it seems pretty universal that some people in a Spanish class will always pronounce unstressed -cu- as [kjə]. Película is [pʰəˈlɪkjələ], artículo is [ɑɹˈtʰɪkjəloʊ], etc. Those are the worst, though. Not everybody's so bad.

In their defense, however, most Spanish students are never really taught a thing about Spanish phonology. High school teachers teach the alphabet on the first day of Spanish 1, saying things like b as in boy, and give up the rest of the subject for lost. I don't think I've ever heard any teacher admit that, for instance, the voiced plosives change pronunciation after vowels.

[Viktor77]

Most of the students in my Spanish classes. Now I understand students in 300 and 400 level classes haven't mastered Spanish phonetics and even I admit I have problems, for example tripping up on words with many syllables (though admittedly I hear natives do this too, and especially those who learned to speak but not read Spanish), but my classmates, the horror! They voice their <z>'s, they aspirate their <h>'s, they sometimes don't roll their <r>'s, they make no attempt at [D], and the worst offense, the most heinous thing of all is inserting the English [aI] in words like idea or sociedad. My French classmates sometimes do this too for what must be the same reason.

A friend of mine and I have noticed that it seems pretty universal that some people in a Spanish class will always pronounce unstressed -cu- as [kjə]. Película is [pʰəˈlɪkjələ], artículo is [ɑɹˈtʰɪkjəloʊ], etc. Those are the worst, though. Not everybody's so bad.

In their defense, however, most Spanish students are never really taught a thing about Spanish phonology. High school teachers teach the alphabet on the first day of Spanish 1, saying things like b as in boy, and give up the rest of the subject for lost. I don't think I've ever heard any teacher admit that, for instance, the voiced plosives change pronunciation after vowels.

Well, that would be rather difficult and create confusion. But in laymen's terms, I could see explaining <t> and <d> or <b> and <v> as possibilities. There are fun and engaging exercises to get students to learn phonetics without terminology. This is pretty much my thesis.

[L'alphabētarium]

Listening to people who grew up in an English speaking environment trying to speak Greek. Yikes!
That usually happens with sons and daughters of Greek immigrants in Australia, USA, Canada, etc, who only heard (and kinda spoke) Greek with their parents and a few other relatives.

Almost all of them "spit out" t and d, making them alveolars instead of dentals. Most of them keep their retroflex r and occasionally velarize l and change clear short vowels [e] and [o] into longer diphthongs [eɪ] and [oʊ], respectively, when they're stressed. None of the above features even exist in Greek!
Furthermore, their inability to pronounce native Greek sounds like: [c] [ɟ] [ç] [ʝ] [x] [ɣ] lead them to weird substitutions that sound ridiculous; [hɛɻi] instead of [çɛɾi], [gaɫa] instead of [ɣala], [kʰoʊma] instead of [xoma] and so forth...

By experience, I can tell you that people having italian or spanish as their native tongue are the best in achieving a decent Greek pronounciation.

[brandrinn]

Awful Korean!
Hilarious side note: the actor who plays the husband, Daniel Dae Kim, speaks Korean as a second language, and has a slight but noticeable accent when he speaks it, making it even more laughable when he compliments Mark Pellegrino's ear-bleedingly awful line read.

[jal]

Mark Pellegrino's ear-bleedingly awful line read.

Now you must explain everything he's done wrong. Please?


JAL

[Skomakar'n]

Listening to people who grew up in an English speaking environment trying to speak Greek. Yikes!
That usually happens with sons and daughters of Greek immigrants in Australia, USA, Canada, etc, who only heard (and kinda spoke) Greek with their parents and a few other relatives.

Almost all of them "spit out" t and d, making them alveolars instead of dentals. Most of them keep their retroflex r and occasionally velarize l and change clear short vowels [e] and [o] into longer diphthongs [eɪ] and [oʊ], respectively, when they're stressed. None of the above features even exist in Greek!
Furthermore, their inability to pronounce native Greek sounds like: [c] [ɟ] [ç] [ʝ] [x] [ɣ] lead them to weird substitutions that sound ridiculous; [hɛɻi] instead of [çɛɾi], [gaɫa] instead of [ɣala], [kʰoʊma] instead of [xoma] and so forth...

By experience, I can tell you that people having italian or spanish as their native tongue are the best in achieving a decent Greek pronounciation.

English has [ç], though. S:

I believe my Greek pronunciation is okay, but I haven't had a native confirm it. I hope it is.

[Rui]

English has [ç], though. S:

Not [çɛ] though! [ç] is an allophone of /h/ found essentially only before [j] in some dialects...not sure about before ...I personally don't, but I don't know if others do.

[Skomakar'n]

English has [ç], though. S:

Not [çɛ] though! [ç] is an allophone of /h/ found essentially only before [j] in some dialects...not sure about before ...I personally don't, but I don't know if others do.

I know, but if they can pronounce [ç<certain V>] at all, [ç<no certain V>] shouldn't be a problem. :S

[L'alphabētarium]

English has [ç], though. S:

Not [çɛ] though! [ç] is an allophone of /h/ found essentially only before [j] in some dialects...not sure about before ...I personally don't, but I don't know if others do.

Yeah, I know it exists, but i also think it's pretty rare and very dialectal.

I believe my Greek pronunciation is okay, but I haven't had a native confirm it. I hope it is.

You can try reading a few words or phrases, record and upload them. I'd be happy to help you clarify it!

[Mr. Z]

English has [ç], though. S:

Not [çɛ] though! [ç] is an allophone of /h/ found essentially only before [j] in some dialects...not sure about before ...I personally don't, but I don't know if others do.

I know, but if they can pronounce [ç<certain V>] at all, [ç<no certain V>] shouldn't be a problem. :S

I don't know about that. I can pronounce the glottal stop before a vowel, since it's in my native language, but I can't pronounce it before a consonant (well, now I probably can, but it's usually difficult for native Hebrew speakers). Same thing with the glottal fricative: I can't pronounce it in the coda.

[Skomakar'n]

English has [ç], though. S:

Not [çɛ] though! [ç] is an allophone of /h/ found essentially only before [j] in some dialects...not sure about before ...I personally don't, but I don't know if others do.

I know, but if they can pronounce [ç<certain V>] at all, [ç<no certain V>] shouldn't be a problem. :S

I don't know about that. I can pronounce the glottal stop before a vowel, since it's in my native language, but I can't pronounce it before a consonant (well, now I probably can, but it's usually difficult for native Hebrew speakers). Same thing with the glottal fricative: I can't pronounce it in the coda.

The glottal stop is really a thing of it's own, though. I think it's wrong to consider it a full-fledged consonant.

I guess you may have a point, either way, though. Swedish doesn't have initial non-aspirated stops natively, and while I can pronounce them in that position just fine, I guess a lot of speakers can't, even though the language still has them elsewhere.