The Boozy Uncle Thread

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linguoboy
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The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by linguoboy »

5-6 parts vodka
1 part Vana Tallinn
a couple dashes of Fee Brothers Aztec Chocolate Bitters

Shake ingredients with ice. Serve in a martini glass with a cinnamon stick garnish.

This was a successful experiment to make use of the chocolate bitters we discovered last weekend. My trouble with every chocolatey cocktail I've ever seen or heard about before is that they are (a) cream-based and (b) revoltingly sweet. I wanted a little sweetness for this drink, thus the Vana Tallinn (whose predominate flavour is vanilla), but what really comes through is chocolate. My friend Turtle swore to us she could taste the cinnamon (the garnish was her idea) but the rest of us just thought it added to the nose.

We're still stuck for a name, btw. Provisionally we've been calling it the Baltec Martini.

Other good uses for the chocolate bitters: A dash in a gin-and-tonic or a Lillet cocktail.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Bristel »

I thought that this was going to be the place for me to admit that my uncle had molested me, but I guess I was mistaken. :evil:
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by linguoboy »

Bristel wrote:I thought that this was going to be the place for me to admit that my uncle had molested me, but I guess I was mistaken. :evil:
Sounds like Venting Thread material to me--unless you want to get all post-modern and incorporate a cocktail recipe.

For those of you who don't know what a Lillet cocktail is, it's equal parts dry vermout and Lillet over ice garnished with an orange slice. I'm a lazy sod so I usually substitute orange bitters, which I offset by using bianco vermouth instead of dry. Replacing the orange bitters with chocolate changes the character of the drink enough that my better half thinks it deserves a new name. Chocolillet?

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Drydic »

I thought this was going to be about discussing our drunken male parental siblings. Which is difficult for me, since in my family my father actually fills that role :S
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by dunomapuka »

The Gringo

Fill a glass with 2 parts dark ale and 1 part ginger beer. Add a splash of vanilla vodka and a few ice cubes.

This is something I improvised at a party a few months ago. I can't vouch for the proportions though, or whether it actually tastes good. I thought it was pretty good - creamy, mildly sweet, tangy.

The Witch's Tit

This one is awesome. Fill a glass 2/3 full of vodka and pear nectar (I used the 'Looza' brand which is widely available here). Plunk in some ice, stir, top it off with good ginger beer.

Possible good additions: ginger syrup, fresh ginger.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by alice »

Shouldn't there be a special conlanger's tipple with IPA in it?
Zompist's Markov generator wrote:it was labelled" orange marmalade," but that is unutterably hideous.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

The San Juan Whore

1 part tequila
1ish part pickle juice (to taste)

No I'm not kidding. You'll hate it or you'll love it.
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

okay people are letting this thread die!!! Come on! :(

bump with a Canadian favorite (common as hell here, but apparently not as well-known outside the Frozen Wastes)

the Caesar

standard recipe:

1 or two shots vodka
4 oz clamato juice*
Worcestershire sauce
Tabasco sauce
celery salt
lime wedge
celery stick

* it's tomato juice with clam in it. As before, I'm not kidding.

Rim a highball glass with lime juice and celery salt. Pour in the vodka and clamato over ice. Add a couple shakes of worcestershire and tabasco, plus another squeeze of lime. Garnish with the celery stick.

Kereb's variation:
add a small blob of horseradish and a splash of red wine
replace celery with either spicy pickled green beans or spicy pickled asparagus


This is another one that people either love or hate. There is little middle ground. It's a great cocktail for those of us without much of a sweet tooth. Plus, it cures hangovers. All those electrolytes and what have you.
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by dunomapuka »

Kereb wrote:okay people are letting this thread die!!! Come on! :(

bump with a Canadian favorite (common as hell here, but apparently not as well-known outside the Frozen Wastes).
I encountered this when I tried to order a Bloody Mary a few years ago in Montreal. The waitress patiently explained that they didn't carry tomato juice, only CLAMato juice; thus, the Caesar.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by dunomapuka »

Ladies and gentleman, Duck Juice.

(I made this video)

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Torco »

xD a good entretaining video, a tip of the hat

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Radius Solis »

dunomapuka wrote:Ladies and gentleman, Duck Juice.

(I made this video)
Aha, I see you are producing a cooking show! I'll check back periodically to see if any usable recipes show up - so far only #1 gets me anything I might like and didn't already know, but if y'all keep going with it it looks promising.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by dunomapuka »

Radius Solis wrote:
dunomapuka wrote:Ladies and gentleman, Duck Juice.

(I made this video)
Aha, I see you are producing a cooking show! I'll check back periodically to see if any usable recipes show up - so far only #1 gets me anything I might like and didn't already know, but if y'all keep going with it it looks promising.
Thank you! I'm nudging him to shoot a new one this week.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by linguoboy »

What can you do with Glavya, the fruitier cousin of Drambuie and less-interesting nephew of Athol Brose? Turns out one part of it to two parts Lillet Blanc makes for a nice tipple. Bit sweet for an apéritif. Garnish with a slice of orange.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

necroing this thread because of a drink i've recently learned

the avocado daiquiri

This is similar to frozen fruit daiquiris except with avocado instead of fruit. Texture is somewhat creamy like a banana daiquiri.

half an avocado
4 shots of rum (makes two doubles)
6 or 8 ice cubes
sugar or simple syrup to taste (this drink shouldn't be too sweet or it kills the avocado taste)
dash of lime juice

I've found that just enough lime juice helps amplify the avocado flavour but too much will drown it out and you'll just be drinking a lime flavoured daiquiri with a weird texture
ALSO if you have a shitty blender you might find that it turns your ice cubes to water rather than making a nice daiquiri/margarita/etc slush. THERE IS A SOLUTION TO THIS. Mix up some very sugary water and fill an ice tray with it. Freeze it and use the sugary ice cubes in your blended cocktails. They form slush better than plain water ice.
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by linguoboy »

One of my friends is leaving Chicago soon so we had a Malört tasting in his honour. The one time I drank ithe Jeppson's before I thought it was absolutely vile, but this time around I couldn't figure out why my reaction had been so strong. My main thing against it now is not that it's bitter but that it's so one-note: it's just bitter without any of the depth you get in even a low-end amaro. The high-end Malört, on the other hand, was so much like absinthe that I used it in a Yellow Parrot (equal parts absinthe, Chartreuse, and apricot brandy over crushed ice) and hardly noticed the difference.

In any case, once talk turned to absinthe, my friend put me work recreating a cocktail he'd had the night before. I think we nailed it, but you might still want to fiddle with proportions. (It should be cloudy with a distinct lime flavour, but the gin in the background.)

Doux Rêve

Two shots gin (Bombay)
One shot St Germain
½ shot absinthe (Sirène)
Juice of one lime
Slice of cucumber

Shake and strain.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

I had no idea what malört is so I googled it
here are some of the pictures that came up just on the first page of a google images search for malört

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image


so now of course I'm super curious and must seek this stuff out myself ...
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by linguoboy »

Kereb wrote:I had no idea what malört is so I googled it
here are some of the pictures that came up just on the first page of a google images search for malört
My friend filmed us each trying it in turn, hoping for a reaction worth posting, but none of us pulled a "Malört face". As he said afterwards, "I've never been so disappointed about something not sucking in my life."

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

and how is Sirène by the way
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by linguoboy »

Kereb wrote:and how is Sirène by the way
I can't really say, as I haven't tasted that many varieties of absinthe. I like it, but then I'm a sucker for herbal liqueurs in general.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by spidermilk »

I thought we were going to discuss the GREATEST character in the history of sketch comedy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHphZpCUHko
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by spidermilk »

I drink Barton's Long Island Ice Tea mix cold and straight. #Class
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

hey if we're bumping this thread

The Twisted Governor

chill two rocks glasses in preparation.
fill one glass with ice.
into this glass pour two shots bourbon and half a shot hibiscus simple syrup1.
add two dashes angostura bitters. stir.
add a fresh large ice cube to the second glass and strain the cocktail into this glass over the ice.
cut a twist of orange peel and squeeze oils through a flame onto the top of the drink.
further burn the peel just a bit and rub it around the rim before dropping it into the drink.
imbibe.

The Michonne

fill a cocktail shaker with ice and pour in:
1 oz vodka
1 oz Alizé Red Passion
1 oz Soho Lychee
add two dashes Angostura Orange Bitters (not herbal) and a slice of blood orange.
shake hard, enough to chill the drink thoroughly and pulverise the orange so you get pulp floating in the drink
strain into a chilled martini glass, and garnish with another thin slice of blood orange

The Dorian Grey
(invented by Mr Saturday, not me)

muddle strawberries, cucumber, and mint in a highball tumbler.
add cubed or crushed ice.
pour over the ice 2oz Hendrick's Gin2. Top up with prosecco.

The Eskimo Handjob

peel a bunch of lychees and remove the pits. freeze the flesh, then blend it into a slush. save in the freezer.
freeze some shot glasses.
in a cocktail shaker, mix 1 part vodka to 1 part Alizé Bleu Passion3 and 1/2 part Malibu coconut rum plus a splash of lime juice EACH, PER NUMBER OF SHOTS DESIRED.
shake to chill thoroughly. you wanna be holding a frosty shaker.
into each frozen shot glass, spoon a lump of frozen lychee pulp and strain a shot from the shaker over it so the lychee floats like an iceberg in a chilly-ass blue arctic-looking but tropical-tasting shot. knock back in one go.

1 which to make is pretty straightforward: heat a pot of water and simmer hibiscus flowers in it till they're good and spent. strain, add sugar, and reduce as with simple syrup.
2 i insist this be made with Hendrick's but your milage may vary
3 no i am not a shill for Alizé, in fact i'm not really a liqueur guy in general but the Michonne and the Eskimo Handjob have proven to be major crowd-pleasers so there you go
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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by gach »

It's also a good time to put some liquor brewing for the winter. This time I went picking rowan berries and put 1.5 l of them in a jar with some spirit. Then I ran out of space and have to go shopping for more glass jars today or tomorrow to get the berries to mix with more alcohol. Sugar will go in later on closer to Christmas once I take out the berries and its amount will depend entirely on the taste of the raw liquor at that point. The berries will also get a second life as jelly or such at this point.

In a while there'll also be cranberries which make another great liquor.

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Re: The Boozy Uncle Thread

Post by Kereb »

this recipe is not entirely my thing, and very much a cold-weather drink (and it's been unambiguously spring for about a month here)
but the presentation is fuckin adorable

http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/the-wint ... +katedries
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