Love Thread

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Astraios
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Astraios »

Qwynegold wrote:That guy I wrote about earlier; it didn't work out with him. :( Then today I got to meet a guy who's the cutest ever! But I get the feeling that he likes me more like a friend. :cry:
Huuuug. Poor Q.

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Qwynegold
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Qwynegold »

Astraios wrote:
Qwynegold wrote:That guy I wrote about earlier; it didn't work out with him. :( Then today I got to meet a guy who's the cutest ever! But I get the feeling that he likes me more like a friend. :cry:
Huuuug. Poor Q.
*cries on your shoulder*
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Astraios
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Astraios »

*makes it all better*

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Re: Love Thread

Post by Thry »

Gay friendzones suck xD.

Astraios
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Astraios »

Psht, friendzones. Who says a friends-relationship isn't as good as a relationship-relationship?

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Re: Love Thread

Post by Wattmann »

Astraios wrote:Psht, friendzones. Who says a friends-relationship isn't as good as a relationship-relationship?
Everyone who has ever wanted to be out of a friendzone.
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dunomapuka
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Re: Love Thread

Post by dunomapuka »

Eandil wrote:Gay friendzones suck xD.
Gay friendzones are extremely permeable.

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Pthagnar
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Pthagnar »

... there are such things?

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Re: Love Thread

Post by Thry »

Pthug wrote:... there are such things?
Yes, and especially when one of the parties is not gay.

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Pthagnar
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Pthagnar »

then it's not fucking gay, is it

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Re: Love Thread

Post by Thry »

Pthug wrote:then it's not fucking gay, is it
It is? The hypothetical desired relationship is gay. Straight boy and [gay boy in love] is quite typical.

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Pthagnar
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Pthagnar »

shit in one hand and hypothecate in the other then tell me which fills first

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Jerian
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Jerian »

Friend problems. Losing friends.

Feel useless, like a waste of life.

Making enemies.

Very depressed.

Want girlfriend.

No girls like me.

Advice?
"Man is least himself when he speaks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will reveal his true face" --Oscar Wilde

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Torco
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Torco »

Torco's Guide to Get Chicks
[disclaimer: I'm not a chick magnet exactly, but I can generally get a girl I like to like me back and do boygirl stuff. also, I don't fulfill all these criteria, but they're still valid]


conform physically to the aesthetic canons of your culture. this generally means
- be physically fit
- preferrably with a low BMI
- plenty of mass on your skeletical muscular system, most particularly in your upper body
- dress in a manner that is coherent with the image of a healthy, successful male
conform behaviourally to the aesthetic canons of your culture. this generally means
- act in a manner that is consistent with a happy, functional, successful human being
- be confident
- make people around you feel good about themselves
maintain, fake and/or pursue a mental state of relative well being
- really, girls don't normally like depressed, hysteric or psychotic people.
- also, when you're clear-minded and moderately happy, you're going to be healthier, funnier, more intelligent, all of which are conducent to get girls to like you
understand the evolutionary psychology behind attraction
- really, this is a pretty functional mechanism; women really do seek characteristics that correlate to fitness; health, confidence, success, intelligence, empathy, blablabla. If you aren't at the top of the pecking order, making a chick feel like you are will maximize your chances.
understand the semiotics behind attraction
- every woman is different, as is every man, and every intersex and transex and asexual and of fuck it , everyone's different, but the constant is that we find different traits attractive: some of us find attractive faith, others hope, others coolness, others money. However, it is hard and ill-fated to try to present yourself to each chick you wanna bang as the kind of man that girl might want to bang, so, instead of that, know your audience and identify women with whom your particular strengths might resonate. However, in this, culture is your friend: preference is not homogeneously distributed; younger women have patterns of attraction that are different from that of older women, rich women have different sensibilities to poor women. soo yeah, if you're a buff guy, pursue chicks that like buff dudes, if you're a smart dude, you'll have extra trouble wooing chicks that are intellectually uncurious. if you're not confident, try and go for chicks that have a strong maternal instinct.
understand the psychology behind attraction
- women tend to like dudes that resemble, at some levels, their fathers: not in the big picture, but in the little things. this is more anecdotal, but in my experience, most chicks who have dug me are the daugthers of men with a sense of humour that is very similar to mine: as sense of humor, there might be other traits that follow this patterns, probably tone of voice or something.
Last edited by Torco on Mon Jul 09, 2012 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Herr Dunkel
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Herr Dunkel »

Oh em gee guys I am goen out on my first real date with someone not psychotic or neurotic!
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Jerian
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Jerian »

@Torco:

thanks for spending the time writing it, I really appreciate it.
I'm not sure how much of it applies to me though.

I'm generally a quiet, unconfident person, though ironically I like to stand out.

I dress very formally (tie and blazer to public school), which attracted quite a few glances at first.

As for telling me to be happy:

"Telling a depressed person to be happy is like telling a blind person to look harder" -- @Tumblr, Twitter

I'll see if I can recover by the next school year, and get a fresh start.

Either way, thanks so much!

-JN
"Man is least himself when he speaks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will reveal his true face" --Oscar Wilde

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Torco
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Torco »

quiet, shy, formal-dressing guy that likes to stand out but hasn't yet learned enough social skills to successfully do that? that's an agle, man! that's the adorable angle. Plenty of chicks dig that shit! you just need to be pretty, and mysterious, and for the love of christ and thor DON'T BE CLINGY. nothing kills adorable like needy. just meh, you know, I'm really dark and mysterious, I bet you'd like to know me, wouldn't you? oh, but I only let special people get to know me, you know. I know, I attracted your attention in some way, but meh, I don't really care. I'm kind of like a puppy, though, I know, will you heal my soul? my soul has been scarred by something that sounds cool... yeah, no? okay, whatever, no probs.

xD

I know it sounds crazy, but eventually it will click. You don't *need* to be happy, I'm kind of fat and I get chicks, for example, you just need to play your advantages... and at least be funny and/or interesting. And if you're not confident, well, be meta-confident, that's even more attractive; like the guy that's really shy and you can really tell he's awkward but but it shows that he's making an effort and shit, that's adorable!

go forth and fondle, my man, go forth and fondle.

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Jerian
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Jerian »

wow, those are actually really good tips!

thanks!
"Man is least himself when he speaks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will reveal his true face" --Oscar Wilde

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finlay
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Re: Love Thread

Post by finlay »

Confidence is like a game. Most people IME think they're not any good at it or that they're faking it, even if outwardly they come across as confident. I'm a bit like that myself. It's all about seeming confident even if you don't feel it. It'll come eventually.

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Torco
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Torco »

finlay wrote:Confidence is like a game. Most people IME think they're not any good at it or that they're faking it, even if outwardly they come across as confident. I'm a bit like that myself. It's all about seeming confident even if you don't feel it. It'll come eventually.
so fake it till you make it. not a bad method.

Jerian_Nostigia wrote:wow, those are actually really good tips!
thanks!
you're quite welcome, bro. may you make many a miss moist.

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Qwynegold
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Qwynegold »

Eandil wrote:Gay friendzones suck xD.
Yeah. And he's even too poor to come and visit me. T_T
dunomapuka wrote:Gay friendzones are extremely permeable.
I don't understand.
Wiktionary wrote:Of or relating to substance, substrate, membrane or material that absorbs or allows the passage of fluids.
:S
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Shrdlu
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Shrdlu »

But I do.... oh, cheesus: I sure do. Read the last strophe: Material that absorbs or allows the passage of fluids.

>mfw
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Whimemsz
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Whimemsz »

The "fluids" part is not an important part of the definition in this case; in this context it just means "a barrier that is easy to move through", i.e.: "[the metaphorical barrier represented by] a gay friendzone is easy to move/break through"

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Gulliver
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Gulliver »

dunomapuka wrote:Gay friendzones are extremely permeable.
Yeah, but... there is a qualitative difference between friends who sleep together and a relationship. Having sex with someone is not the same as "going steady". I think it can actually significantly worsen the mindfuck.

I know this is the romantic equivalent of First World Problems, but my boyfriend is still thousands of miles away having adventures and not here with me. I miss him.

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Pthagnar
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Re: Love Thread

Post by Pthagnar »

Gulliver wrote:I know this is the romantic equivalent of First World Problems, but my boyfriend is still thousands of miles away having adventures and not here with me. I miss him.
that is a legitimate romantic problem. you mean something like "he's with his friends in the other room and i haven't seen him since teatime :(("

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