The dream thread

[finlay]

I had a sex dream with a hot guy with a big dick. And then I woke up and it wasn't real, and I remembered all over again why I hate dreaming – and that it's just under 3 years since I've had any sex and much longer than that since I've had anal sex.

[Astraios]

Do you not use dating/sex sites? Use them!

[finlay]

Haven't we been over this? I tend to go on to them and not find anyone I like the look of, or I'll make excuses not to actually message anyone. Or I do finally get over myself and message someone but they don't get back to me and then I'm disheartened. Also, I'm going away to Japan in like a week. I suppose I should perhaps get on the task of finding someone there... but they still haven't told me what area of Tokyo it's going to be...

[Astraios]

With only a week left? That's a bit mad... And don't be disheartened! Just keep doing it.

[finlay]

I know... I'm flying out on the 21st but I'm leaving Edinburgh next week on the 18th to stay in London for a couple of days, since I have to get to Heathrow for 6am on the 21st. So I've only got a week left in Edinburgh even though I've got a bit more than that in the UK.

Srsly though if they haven't told me in a couple of days' time I'll start majorly freaking out...........

[Earthling]

Somebody had a conworld which was set on a second moon of Earth, and the continents were the same as Earth's, but narrower. This meant that some continents which nearly touch on Earth were not touching on the conworld. For example, as we all know, the north part of Australia touches the south coast of Asia, but in this conworld, there were thousands of miles of water separating them. And because of this, that moon was so unstable that if you were to disturb a grain of sand the world would blow up.

(My brain sure likes to change Earth's geography!)

Then there was a star that wanted to destroy Earth's southern hemisphere, so it sent a burst of radiation, or something like that, to do so. But then it realized that that would also destroy the northern hemisphere, so it decided it had better stop the radiation before it reached Earth.

[Astraios]

I had another dream that would make for a great children's book; it made me sleep for three hours too many, but I think it was worth it, because it's Saturday and so I can afford to sleep in, and because I was semi-lucid for most of it.

I was in a parallel universe, sort of like how Philip Pullman's universes in the His Dark Materials trilogy work, with everything being the same except for some details like magic or whatever. In my universe, England was a mostly wild and untamed country full of huge mountains and forests, and only the South-East (i.e. London and the -sexes (the counties were all quite a lot smaller than in the real England)) was "civilized".

My people, who didn't seem to have any name for themselves apart from "the People", lived in small villages high up in the mountains and kept herds of small black "ridgecows", not for their milk, but for the tennisball-sized lumps of what could have been edible fungus or fat (I didn't have time to stop and study them) that grew down their tails. They were called ridgecows because we herded them across mountain ridges, as these were the only places with grass for them to eat; further down the slopes (to our knowledge) was only The Forest, which was a very dangerous place full of wolves and bears and empty of any People civilization. We had magic, and it was very commonplace - anyone could do it, with a bit of practice. We were smaller than the humans, so I think we were some sort of fairy or elf-type creatures. For transport between the mountaintops, we could either use a magic teleporty thing (if it activated at the right time) or walk down through The Forest and then up the next mountain (if we didn't mind risking our lives down there among the trees).

I lived in the "capital village" of the People, which was called Lofoten for some unknown reason (that's a real placename in Norway), and I was just a child of a family of thralls (there were a lot of Viking elements in the dreamworld), until it had become apparent that, while I had a male body, I was mentally genderless, neither male nor female, which meant that I could train to become a seriously high-ranking spellcaster in the court of the King. I wasn't doing very well at my training though, because I was very clumsy (even more so than IRL) and seemingly everything I did ended in failure or breakages, so more often than not I was just relegated to the normal duties of a thrall, like cowherding and cleaning and being used as a sextoy and generally having a horrible time.

So now the dreamstory begins.

Apparently, the king of London had got word of the location of Lofoten and was sending out a warparty to kill us, because of course, humans and People didn't get on with each other at all. Lofoten wasn't actually very far from London, only in the West Country, but we were so well hidden living above The Forest that they had never found out before now. I was out on the ridge one evening, just bringing home the ridgecows to pluck their tails, when the cows suddenly became nervous and started running. I thought that perhaps there was a wolf or a dragon or something, and looked nervously down over the side of the ridge to see if anything was coming up, but I saw nothing. I ran home anyway, following the cows.

When I arrived at the village after the run (which was scary enough in itself - running along a narrow spine of grassy rock with steep drops on either side), the place was in uproar. Everybody was milling about and shouting, and I even saw the master spellcaster and the King's élite guard themselves. As the cows came into the village in such a disorderly and panicked way, I got frowned at by the master spellcaster (supposed to be my teacher, but giving up on me because of my clumsiness). I ran up to her and said that something had spooked the cows as we were crossing Fell Ridge, and she opened her mouth, paused, and said, "You've actually done something useful for once." She raised her voice and shouted to everybody, "Go with your families and get into the tunnels, soldiers from London are coming from below Fell Ridge and they will be here with the sunset."

So everybody started panicking and running for the tunnels, and I ran down into the log-fenced compound that marked the thrall families' housing. One of the houses had a secret passage that led into caves and tunnels below the mountains, which all of the People knew instinctively how to get through, but which were pretty much a deathtrap for blundering humans (the tunnels were one reason the humans hated us so much - they couldn't use our caves for mining or shelter because sooner or later they'd get lost and die in them, and they blamed us for killing them in the caves).

I found my family in our tiny wooden house, which was a mother and several siblings, a couple of aunts and uncles, and a grandparent, and we ran together into the tunnels, finding a route that would take us around in a big circle, and bring us back to the surface not far from our own house. Everyone else picked different routes, to lessen the chances of being found by the humans who we thought we knew would stick together from fear of the tunnels.

Except they didn't. When they arrived they split up into small groups, and followed us all very accurately and without fear. And so we started to get scared. We were by now creeping along hoping we wouldn't be seen or heard. Then we were spotted. A London woman seemed to be in charge, and we could tell in the instant that we were seen that she was different to normal humans - she had black hair and eyes, something only the People usually had. She saw us and grinned a wicked grin full of sharp teeth, and said something in English which I didn't understand (I meta-realized then that of course the People didn't speak English). Her five soldiers (who looked like Vikings) leapt at us, and I woke up from the shock.

I woke up and remembered, "Oh crap, I already slept through my alarm." And then I thought, "But fuck it, this dream is awesome, I'm carrying it on." And I fell asleep again and miraculously the dream was still going on in my head (that usually never happens to me).

I'd missed some of it, because I'd woken up, but when I got back to myself I was just exiting the tunnels in the place near to my family's thrallhouse, and I had apparently been magically transported to London (by the master spellcaster, which I wouldn't find out until much later) just as the human soldiers leapt at us. I had fresh new memories from London - it was like Victorian England but with some odd pieces of modernity and other times, and I had landed in the middle of a park in Soho. It was late in the evening by then, the sun had set completely, and a man having a leisurely bicycle ride through the park was the only person who had noticed me arriving, and he fell off the bicycle in shock and knocked himself out on the hard ground.

I had run, trying to find my way back to a tunnel, and then I'd seen a pair of wealthy young ladies walking home from a party and gossiping. They were walking towards me, so I'd hidden in a bush, but then I really wanted to know what they were saying, so I held my breath and strained my ears until they popped and then my magic kicked in and healed them, and as the magic was around my ears I could understand their English. I'd followed them back the way I had come, listening.

"... just loved the way Lieutenant Boxwell spoke to His Majesty! She was so convincing about the location of those savages' principal camp - she even knew its name!"

"Yes, what did she call it? Lowfoot? Lofty? In fact, I think it doesn't exist, you ..."

Then the magic left my ears and I couldn't understand any more. I'd looked around for somewhere to hide, and then I'd suddenly seen a pattern on one of the stones in the path, in the spot where I had landed. It was a red oval, with a silver border and a silver snake coiling over it. I'd recognized it as being one of the People's magical transporty things. The ladies didn't seem to notice it, walking right by it without a glance. The man on the bicycle had got up by now, and I could see him wobbling off into the distance before the darkness swallowed him up.

I'd poked the transporter with my foot, but it didn't activate. Then I'd hidden in a bush, and slept. In the morning I'd found myself invisible. This in itself wasn't unusual - it was a standard thing for the People to become invisible sporadically at puberty (I was younger than I am IRL, only about fifteen). I was very glad for this fact right now though, because I could walk about the park waiting for the transporter to activate without being seen.

Then I had seen the human woman with dark hair from the tunnel. I'd hidden in a bush, even though I was invisible, and noticed that she was walking and talking with the man who'd fallen off his bicycle last night. I'd thought, "That must be Lieutenant Boxwell," and then I saw her pointing out to the man the exact location of the transporter. He'd seemed surprised, not having noticed it until she'd pointed it out.

Then my memory went funny - as if when you fast-forward a video tape. There were images of the man on the bicycle riding over more and more transporters all over the park, Lieutenant Boxwell seeing me hiding, running through the park, and then running through the tunnels, until the present time where I was just exiting the tunnels in the place near my family's home.

I climbed out of a trapdoor and ran as fast as I could to find the King, to tell him about Lieutenant Boxwell - the apparent hybrid between human and fairy who could see transporters and navigate the tunnels, and who for some unknown reason wanted us wiped out.

I ran up the village from the thralls' compound, which lay in the shadow of the ridge, on the edge of The Forest, right up to the King's hall. I was let in immediately - that told me everything I needed to know about my family, as it was customary for the King to take all orphans into his hall where they would be looked after by his thralls. I didn't cry; instead I rushed to find the master spellcaster.

She was coming down a flight of stairs, followed by the captain of the King's guard, who was telling her that the magical wards which tell when a transporter has been triggered had been disturbed, but no one had arrived or left via transporter since three days ago at market. I ran up and interrupted, saying, "I saw a human, he was triggering the wards!" Naturally, they didn't listen, because I was only the clumsiest thrall in Lofoten and an orphan at that, so I was completely worthless.

The captain began to list the names of the locations where a transporter had been triggered, and I joined in, shouting out the names of the transporters the man on the bicycle had ridden over before he could say them, in a desperate attempt to make them listen. "Snake! And High Green! Wolf Pass! Hidden Valley and Socotra!"

They noticed all right - the captain grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and yelled at me, and the master spellcaster folded her arms and sighed. I tried to yell over the captain's voice about Lieutenant Boxwell and the man on the bicycle and the gossiping young ladies, but the master spellcaster gave me a Look that said very plainly, "Tell me later in private - if you continue to shout it out everywhere I'll kill you." So I shut up.

Then I was brought before the King to decide my punishment - a thrall shouting at anyone higher ranking than him or her was almost worth the death sentence.

Then I woke up.


I really wanted to find out what was going on with Lieutenant Boxwell and the master spellcaster, and the male thrall who had lived in the thrallhouse opposite my family's and who had been my lover (he didn't feature in the dream, I just remembered feeling worried about him as I went into the tunnels), and just what it was all about. I guess I'll have to write it into a novel.

[Herr Dunkel]

You should actually write this into a novel. This is awesome-sauce.

[Astraios]

I think I might try. I wouldn't know where to take it after the dream sequence though. Obviously I wouldn't be sentenced to death - the master spellcaster would probably save me from that, but then what? It's a pretty massive opening to a story, really, with so much going on, so I don't know what something that big could build up to.

[Earthling]

Why can't I have your dreams?

And how do you remember such long dreams?

[Astraios]

Photographic memory. I remember about 90% of things that I see (outside or inside my head).

EDIT: Or maybe that should be cinematographic memory, because I remember not just frozen images but moving ones.

[Herr Dunkel]

I think I might try. I wouldn't know where to take it after the dream sequence though. Obviously I wouldn't be sentenced to death - the master spellcaster would probably save me from that, but then what? It's a pretty massive opening to a story, really, with so much going on, so I don't know what something that big could build up to.

You'll need to make the other side unlovable, though, otherwise you'll end up with Killzone's problem - the Helghast are far more beloved than the puny enemy (for whose side you accidentally play)

[Shrdlu]

I remember the end of my dream.
I dreamt that I was at a swimming hall and that I had lost my socks. I found one of them in a pool of piss so I had to dry it. I found an automatic dryer, the problem was that they we're filming a murder scene besides it. The little fjucker wouldn't dry so I had to constantly return to the dryer, making the actors more and more nervous.

Then I woke up.

[Astraios]

You'll need to make the other side unlovable, though, otherwise you'll end up with Killzone's problem - the Helghast are far more beloved than the puny enemy (for whose side you accidentally play)

I have no idea what you're talking about. The Londoners aren't going to be lovable though, because they're clearly the bad guys who killed my family and are trying to wipe out my people.

[Herr Dunkel]

You'll need to make the other side unlovable, though, otherwise you'll end up with Killzone's problem - the Helghast are far more beloved than the puny enemy (for whose side you accidentally play)

I have no idea what you're talking about. The Londoners aren't going to be lovable though, because they're clearly the bad guys who killed my family and are trying to wipe out my people.

Killzone is a videogame, and the Helghast are a blatantly obvious ripoff of Nazis.
They land on your home planet in the first game, ravage 50% of its surface, raze your cities and nuke them, and they were the most popular when the game came out.
C&C Tiberium saga has Nod, which is essentially the embodiment of oppression, evil and masochism, and they're the most beloved faction.
Just sayin'

[Earthling]

There was a commercial for a device for writing your will. The commercial bragged about it being very portable, but it looked rather bulky. It showed a woman carrying and using it on the subway and in the grocery store.

[Bristel]

I think I might try. I wouldn't know where to take it after the dream sequence though. Obviously I wouldn't be sentenced to death - the master spellcaster would probably save me from that, but then what? It's a pretty massive opening to a story, really, with so much going on, so I don't know what something that big could build up to.

Yes, please write this into a novel!

----

I had a dream that I was racing a jet-ski through a boggy sort of road system, trying to avoid mines in the water. The mines would slow me down, because I would hit them, not being too good at steering the jet-ski, and a group of marauders would catch up to me.

After this "race" of sorts, I went to a barbecue, where I was trying to seduce the man handling the barbecue by sucking on a hotdog.

After it was becoming apparent that he just found me silly, and not sexy, I tried hanging out with my neighbor who's a sort of play director, and helping to prevent her from stumbling over from drunkeness.

[Torco]

I went to the office without my laptop, but it was no big deal because they installed a desktop there not long ago

[Wattmann]

Every other dream here is very obviously homosexual and very sexually charged O_O

[Astraios]

Well spotted! Also, *problem?.jpg*

[Wattmann]

Nah, I'm perfectly OK with gays.
But it's so explicit

[Astraios]

Well, of course. If someone dreams about a guy with a big cock then there's no point saying that they dreamed about a guy with a big gun in his pocket, because this is dreams and someone with an actual big gun is just as likely as a someone with an actual big cock... xD

[Wattmann]

This happens quite a lot, too X) :

She could have been for all I know. The "camera" angle was facing the woman and rolling backwards as she walked up to it, so I didn't actually see the train.


Last night I was Pocahontas (except I looked just like me), and I had sex with John Smith (except he looked just like a certain person I know IRL) somewhere in the forest. It was fun.

[Astraios]

What, mental Disney porn?

[Wattmann]

What, mental Disney porn?

Indeed X)

I'll be going to sleep now. We'll see (well, ég, ikka við) what I'll dream up over night