Arrgh!!!

I just finished translating something and it took me an excruciatingly long time but I was logged out by the end and couldn't go back!!!
Ugh. I'll do it again.
~~
@Salmoneous: I'm putting off the question of how best to dispose of the retroflex series for now, but thanks for the suggestions.
In order to see which orthography The Board thinks best fits (and also to give a much-needed longer sample of the language), I've translated the first ten verses of my preferred book of the Tanakh (Ecclesiastes/Kohelet

) into Sharshali. Down below, you'll see IPA, then Orthography 1, the Orthography 2, then the "literal" translation of the Sharshali text into English, then my preferred translation of the Hebrew text into English.
IPA1: /kaˈlimas deɕ kowˈwelet fiʎu aɕ daˈvid re iɕ ʑiˈruzalim/
2: /vaˈða di ˈvaði el ˈziɕi ɕu kowˈwelet vaˈða di ˈvaði eʈˈʈot van/
3: /ke pruˈfetu el iʂˈʈata el iˈsan di tot eʈʈaˈvaʎu kel faˈtiɣa ˈsutu eʂˈʂoʎ/
4: /ʑil va i ʑil veɲ j eʈˈʈeχa isˈta a ˈsembri/
5: /eʂˈʂoli ˈlevasi j eʂˈʂoli ˈkesi j el ˈkuχi aɭˈɭoksu kel ˈlevasi di la/
6: /el va al ʑaˈnub j el toɳɳasi a 'ɕamal el ˈvendu ˈtoɳɳasi i el ˈtoɳɳasi ˌoʈʈaˈvetɕ i ˈkirkusu/
7: /ˈtoðas ˈel ˈħumi von ˈal maɕ mas ˈel maɕ nun ˈprena aɭˈɭok ˈkel ˈħumi von aɭˈɭa ˈeɭɭas von ˌnowwaˈmendi aɭˈɭa/
8: /ˈtoðas ˈel kozas ˈkasasi mas niˈsan nun ˈpolu ziɕ el ˈotɕu nun ˈvasi praˈɣaɕ di veɕ j el uˈretɕa nun ˈvasi priˈnaɕ di ˌoˈiɕ/
9: /ɕu kel isˈto ɕu kel va isˈtaɕ e ɕu kel ˈfetɕi ɕu kel ˈvasi faɕ e nun isˈta ˈnaða kel nof ˈsutu eʂˈʂoʎ/
10: /asˈta ˈkoza ke deɕa ˈomi zi ˈveɲ ˈaɭɭa veɕ ki nowwa ˈeɭɭa isˈto ʑa nel aˈsaru di ˈandi nos/
Orthography 11: Kalimas deš Kowelet, fiľu aš Davíd, re iš Žirúzalim.
2: Vaḏá di vaḏi, el ziši šu Kowelet; vaḏá di vaḏi, eṭṭót van.
3: Ké prufetu el iṣṭata el isán di tot eṭṭavaľu kel fatiγa sutu eṣṣóľ?
4: Žil va i žil veñ, i eṭṭexa istá asembri.
5: Eṣṣoli leva-si i eṣṣoli ke-si, i el kuxi aḷḷók-su kel leva-si di la.
6: El va al žanúb i el toṇa-si a šamal; el vendu toṇa-si, i el toṇa-si oṭavéč i kirku-su.
7: Toḏas el ħumi von al maš, mas el maš nun prena; aḷḷók kel ħumi von aḷḷá, eḷas von nowamendi aḷḷá.
8: Toḏas el kozas kasa-si mas nisán nun pó-lu ziš: el oču nun va-si praγás di veš, i el ureča nun va-si prináš di oíč.
9: Šu kel istó, šu kel va istáš, e šu kel feč-si, šu kel va-si faš; nun istá naḏa kel nof sutu eṣṣóľ.
10: Astá koza ke deša omi zi, « Veñ aḷḷa veš, ki nowa! »? Eḷa istó ža nel asaru di ándi-nos.
Orthography 21: Calimas deş Koelet, filhu aş Davíd, re iş Jirúsalim.
2: Vadá di vadi, el zişi şu Koelet; vadá di vadi, ertót van.
3: Cé prufetu el irstata el isán di tot ertavalhu cel fatiga sutu ersólh?
4: Jil va i jil venh, i erterra istá asembri.
5: Ersole leva-si i ersole cé-si, i el curri allóc-su cel leva-si di la.
6: El va al janúb i el torna-si a şamal; el vendu torna-si, i el torna-si ortavéç i circu-su.
7: Todas el humi von al maş, mas el maş nun prena; allóc cel humi von allá, ellas von noamendi allá.
8: Todas el cozas cãsa-si mas nisán nun pó-lu ziş: el oçu nun va-si pragás di veş, i el ureça nun va-si prináş di oíç.
9: Şu cel istó, şu cel va istáş, e şu cel feç-si, şu cel va-si faş; nun istá nada cel nof sutu ersólh.
10: Astá coza ce deşa omi zi, « Venh alla veş, ci noa! »? Ella istó ja nel asaru di ándi-nos.
"Literal" Translation1: Words of-the Kohelet, son to-the David, king in-the Jerusalem.
2: Vanity of vanities, he said the Kohelet; vanity of vanities, the-all vain.
3: What profit he extracts the person of all the-work that-he toils under the-sun?
4: Generation goes and generation comes, and the-land stands to-always.
5: The-sun raises-himself and the sun goes-down-himself, and he runs to place-his that-he raises-himself from there.
6: He goes to-the south and he turns-himself to-(the) north; the wind turns-himself, and he (re)turns-himself again in circles-his.
7: All the rivers go to-the sea, but the sea not full; to-(the)-place that-the rivers go to-there, they go anew to-there.
8: All the things tire-themselves but no-person not can-it say; the eye not go-itself placate of seeing, and the ear not go-itself fill of hearing.
9: That that-he stood, that that-he goes stand, and that that-he did-itself, that that go-itself do; not stands nothing that-he new under the-sun
10: Is-there thing that of-her man says, "Come to-her see, because new!"? She stood already in-the times of before-us.
Preferred Hebrew-to-English Translation1: "The words of Koheleth son of David, king in Jerusalem."
2: "Vanity of vanities, said Koheleth; vanity of vanities, all is vanity."
3: "What profit has man in all his toil that he toils under the sun?"
4: "A generation goes and a generation comes, but the earth endures forever."
5: "The sun rises and the sun sets, and to its place it yearns and rises there."
6: "It goes to the south and goes around to the north; the will goes around and around, and the will returns to its circuits."
7: "All the rivers flow into the sea, yet the sea is not full; to the place where the rivers flow, there they repeatedly go."
8: "All things are wearisome; no one can utter it; the eye shall not be sated from seeing, nor shall the ear be filled from hearing."
9: "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun."
10: "There is a thing of which [someone] will say, "See this, it is new." It has already been for ages which were before us."
So! Phew! Tell me which orthography you like better, and if you want to comment about the phonology or grammar or anything at all, please, please do!
As a side note, the words for 'words,' 'generation,' 'south,' 'north' and 'ages' are from Arabic. Do you guys think that's a good ratio of foreign-to-Latinate in a text such as this, given the repetition and parallelism and all-around core-ness of the vocabulary? There's also a lot of calquing of Semitic syntax, at least from a Hebrew/Phoenician standpoint...