Parlor Game: The Unknown Language Genie

[Vuvuzela]

Any language indigenous to Baltia/Western Russia (ie. excluding IE and Uralic)
Hunnic
Proto-Afrasian

(And for joke requests: Hyperborean, Lemurian and Middle R'lyehian.)

I'd bet on whether a grammar of Middle R'lyehian would cause you to go mad from the revelation, or flee from the deadly phonemes into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

[p1XzQ0XjVvsQ7gjEcLKV]

Let's say that a magic genie comes up to you and offers you a full grammar and lexicon of any language ever spoken, at any point in time. What would you ask for?

I'm surprised no one has suggested this yet:
Are there any non-human languages on this planet? I want to know whether whale-ish or dolphin-ese are actually complex enough to be languages.

[Jerian]

I'm surprised no one has suggested this yet:
Are there any non-human languages on this planet? I want to know whether whale-ish or dolphin-ese are actually complex enough to be languages.

According to the LCK; grasshoppers have a bit of a language composed of 7 phrases, relying heavily on context.

I can't imagine any non-human language would be worth wasting a genie wish for.

Personally, I'd have to choose between Latin-200CE (just before Constantine)
Modern Japanese
modern Swedish
or
1000CE english (pretty much the birth of English)

[Torco]

modern japanese? really? waste a wish on a lang which you can learn just by googling?
disagreement!

[Jerian]

modern japanese? really? waste a wish on a lang which you can learn just by googling?
disagreement!

Well tbh, any of the languages I displayed above can be learned by googling. It's that I don't have enough time to fluently learn any languages except what I'm being taught in school.

Wait hold on. Does "a genie giving you the full grammar and lexicon of any language" mean just handing you a printed list, or implanting it into your brain? Cuz if it's just the lists, screw that, I'll find something lost, but if it's implanting it into your brain, then I'd go with one of my above options.

[Torco]

Let's say that a magic genie comes up to you and offers you a full grammar and lexicon of any language ever spoken, at any point in time. What would you ask for?

[Jerian]

damnit. I'll take 1000CE english. But even that you could find on the internet.

[patiku]

I never thought I'd meet a person with less imagination than Eddy.

[Torco]

you couldn't imagine ?

[Jerian]

I never thought I'd meet a person with less imagination than Eddy.

Welp. This is the third time you've insulted me

I do not understand why wanting to know 1000CE english means I have a horrible imagination. Maybe it's cuz I'm still 'mapking'.

[ccaccus]

I never thought I'd meet a person with less imagination than Eddy.

Welp. This is the third time you've insulted me

I do not understand why wanting to know 1000CE english means I have a horrible imagination. Maybe it's cuz I'm still 'mapking'.

Because Google can grant you a grammar of 1000 CE English.

A genie would laugh at the wasted wish and probably use Google himself to carry out said wish, just to show you how much of a waste it was.

[Jerian]

Okay. If my answer was really that stupid, I'll go with 15-1600's North American first nations Haida.

[linguofreak]

Because Google can grant you a grammar of 1000 CE English.

A *complete* grammar and lexicon of 1000 AD English?

Absolutely *no* knowledge about that has been lost in the past millenium?

IMHO, it would be worth asking for, but fairly far down the list, given that even more information has been lost about other historical languages.

[brandrinn]

you couldn't imagine ?

That's what I've always heard.

[ccaccus]

Because Google can grant you a grammar of 1000 CE English.

A *complete* grammar and lexicon of 1000 AD English?

Absolutely *no* knowledge about that has been lost in the past millenium?

IMHO, it would be worth asking for, but fairly far down the list, given that even more information has been lost about other historical languages.

Touché.

[Wattmann]

* Proto-Indo-Uralic
* Etruscan
* Proto-Indo-European (before Anatolian split)

[Tropylium]

If my answer was really that stupid, I'll go with 15-1600's North American first nations Haida.

Why that period in particular? Proto-Haida probably broke up earlier than that.

[Jerian]

Why that period in particular? Proto-Haida probably broke up earlier than that.

Just before North American explorers started having a big presence in the area, most likely involving big changes in their language.

[Whimemsz]

Well, that's when Europeans first started intensively exploring and settling the Americas in general, but afaik there wasn't significant contact between the Haida and Europeans until the late 1700s-early 1800s. And it's not like that contact radically altered their language. Going back a few hundred years you'd probably find something very similar to modern-day Haida! Sure, no European loanwords, but otherwise, no drastic differences... nothing you couldn't approximate using a modern-day grammatical description and dictionary.

EDIT: Like... the most significant effect European contact has generally had on aboriginal languages is the languages dying, not the languages becoming some crazy new language (and things like Michif don't count because Cree is still around)

[Jerian]

nothing you couldn't approximate using a modern-day grammatical description and dictionary.

Actually, the modern Haida language does not have any fully complete dictionaries/grammar lists. There are only 3? people left in the world who speak it fluently, and others are struggling to get it down. It's just about extinct, and saving it would be a thing I'd love to do.

[Bristel]

Cumbric, if it's a separate language. In any case, it would be nice to have a grammar.

[hwhatting]

If there's no limit, I'd go for something like Radius - all languages ever spoken.
If there's a limit, I'd go for PIE, Pictish (just to end the discussions), Nostratic, Dene-Caucasian, Amerind (in case they existed), Minoan, North Picene.

[Ia-Itundhoar]

1. PIE
2. Pictish
3. Etruscan
4. Minoan
5. Harappan
6. Proto-Amerind