I had a migraine last weekend. I used to only get an aura (scintillating scotoma) ... sometimes big enough to make me mostly blind for half-an-hour or so and then basically no headache. A doctor told me it was a migraine aura when I was younger, and reading about it, it's quite common for young men to get migraines with a noticeable aura but no noticeable headache. As I've gotten older and started to move out of the "young man" category, the headaches have started coming with them. Boo! I mean, it's kind of reassuring that they are actually migraines and not just random spells of blindness. It's always just been a kind of extremely sensitive head for a couple of days ... and when I'm not bending over quickly, shaking my head or coughing, I usually forget (which leads to me doing it again) ... but last weekend was the first time I've had one where I could feel the headache as a constant presence. It wasn't agonising or anything, but then the aura started coming back (which is another development in the last couple of years) and I was like "Well, I can't even lie here and watch a movie or something so, I guess I'll just sleep."
I felt groggy for days. My head was tender for about three days after the headache stopped and once I was back to normal, my sleep cycle was really thrown off ... like, I keep waking up after three hours now but not having the energy to do anything. I didn't manage to make it to work at all this week until Friday afternoon ... I have too much freedom and it's bad for me. I had to make myself go. I'm glad I went because the longer I don't go, the harder it gets to go.
So, I got to work and I was researching, reading stuff and trying to find something to write about but my brain was just full of negativity and I just couldn't stomach the idea of writing anything and I started and stopped and deleted and started something else several times. I started to get anxiety, plus tiredness and ... like, if I was a little kid, I would have been playing up to the point that a parent would say angrily "You need a nap, young man!" but I'm an adult, almost middle-aged man. My anxiety got to the point where I had to go to the toilet and when I finished I felt like I had to go back again. By this stage I was the only one in the office. At some point, I just decided to go home while it was still light. I didn't finish my article (in theory I'll finish it at home over the weekend ... but I have literally never done that when that's been my plan), I decided to take the tram home ... it's quite a long, slow trip that does a big loop from near my work, swings out wide and then leaves me on the other side of the river with a reasonable walk home. Sometimes it's more restful than the much quicker U-Bahn-bus-combo, but it was full of people and little kids running up and down and one making weird noise right behind me ... and where the tram drops me off is quite a chaotic, loud nightlife area and, being Friday night, that was kind of hectic too and I just got so peopled out. I knew I didn't have any food at home, so I went to the supermarket and I literally hated the idea of eating anything my brain suggested and in the end I just bought a litre of ice cream ... and that's my dinner ... even though I'm trying to cut down on sugar because I'm getting a bit fat and it's also apparently not great for mental health. Better than just not eating I guess.
Glossing Abbreviations: COMP = comparative, C = , ACS / ICS = , GDV = , SPEC / NSPC = specific / non-specific